To ask how to reply to this text?

[MissEliza]

Dh and I have been good friends with a couple, we'll call Mary and John, for 7i or 8 years. Since the beginning of last year, it feels like John and Mary ghosted us and the rest of our friendship circle. They have turned down every invitation as a couple or simply not shown up without explanation and John has made an excuse every time dh has invited him for a pint. Over that time, the only time Mary has got in touch is to ask if my oldest dc can babysit their dcs, maybe four or five times. The last time was in October and we've had no contact with then since. We didn't even get a Christmas card and I've noticed John trying to avoid me in the street more than once!!
Today I received a message from Mary on my WhatsApp but addressed to my dc. It said like 'Sam (my dc) would you be able to babysit for us next Friday?' She has to know it's my phone number as the profile has my picture! AIBU to think when we've barely spoken to them in over a year and it's actually my phone she should really be saying 'Hi Eliza could you ask Sam if she would babysit for us'? Tbh Sam doesn't even want the babysitting money. The other times she did it, we persuaded her to help Mary and John out as it's very difficult to find babysitters. Right now I feel like if she can't talk to us, why should we do her a 'favour'.
How should I reply?

[Sparklesocks]

Agree with the ‘who is this’ reply.
Or ‘yes but Sam’s new rates are £80p/h’

[TulipsTwoLips]

It depends - what message do you want to get across?

Do you want reasons for being ghosted? Do you want them to know you won't be treated like this?

I'd just ignore.

[BrassicaBabe]

I'd ignore it. But I like the "who is this" response

[slipperywhensparticus]

Sorry wrong number

[ShesGotBetteDavisEyes]

This reminds me of my neighbour who completely blanks myself and dh at every opportunity but then came round asking if our dc’s could babysit! The mind boggles!
I told her we were going away for the weekend and then gave her a big smile when she passed us with a puzzled look on her face that very weekend. She had also been around to borrow sugar etc. But then goes back to completely blanking me again.
People are so weird!

[SeansNiece]

'Hi Mary, surely you're aware this is my phone, not Sams?'

Then when/if she responds with some shite about she thought it was Sams and could you ask her to babysit just say 'no, sorry, you can't use my daughter as a babysitting service while ghosting DH and I. Enjoy your night out'.

[SeansNiece]

orrrrr......

I think you know this is Eliza's number and are expecting me to ask Sam to babysit for you.

[Winterlife]

If they’ve ghosted everyone in your social circle, something obviously is going on in their lives. Perhaps they are having marital problems. Maybe they want a perceived more “advantageous” social circle. Really, it could be anything from very serious to mundane.

I’d probably answer neutrally, but politely, with your daughter’s response.

[Flutteringsatlast]

Ignore.
She doesn't find it rude to do so..

[Kanga83]

I would also go with, 'who is this?'

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

The cheek of her. Ignore and block or reply with one of the quick witted answers on here.
They won't need to avoid you anymore, take control go NC.

This - they may have a reason for ghosting - that's their business if they aren't prepared to discuss it - however, they have no right to make use of you or your family.

Ghost them back.

[ferntwist]

So cheeky. Agree with PPs. Message back saying Sam’s not available and this is your phone.

[MRex]

"You have the wrong number, this is not Sam's phone."

[MissEliza]

Dh had insisted it was no big deal so it's interesting to read your responses. I have passed the message on to my dd as she may want some extra money. She doesn't really like babysitting but does like money so we'll see. In the past we've had to twist her arm slightly because J and M were good friends in the past and we wanted to help them. I really don't feel any obligation now.

[AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore]

So, they've not ghosted YOU as such, they are avoiding everyone in the friendship circle? That sounds to me much more like there is something going on you don't know about - either that has gone on with another friend (is everyone equally baffled by their sudden silence) or with them as a couple. Yes it's rude not to have told you, but it could be all sorts of things - marital problems/infidelity; health issues; issue/s with their family - or they are miserable gits.... and yes, the message not referencing you is a bit odd, but goodness, people are easily offended!

At the risk of jumping on a hashtag a little, why be (passive) aggressive, when you can be neutral and not escalate?

I'd just reply "It's xxx here, lovely to hear from you - it feels like ages. Sam isn't doing babysitting anymore/isn't available on xx date (depending if Sam wants to totally close that revenue stream down!) but hope we can catch up soon"

Leave in her court, sure, but I wouldn't abandon a good friend of 7-8 years on the basis that they've gone quiet for four months.

[GinDrinker00]

“Sorry whose this?” When she replies “oh I used to know a Mary but haven’t heard from her in a long time you must have the wrong number!”

[Piglet89]

Reminds me of my neighbour who can barely bring herself to say hello to me in the street, but expects us to take in parcels for her when she is (frequently) not in.

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

Who is this? Is perfect, I agree.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

I hope you say you've never heard of her, Piglet

[MissEliza]

@SchadenfreudePersonified I agree with you. If we've done something and they no longer want any contact, that's their right but they should be consistent. What has really irritated me is that after months of no contact they asked dd to babysit for a whole day in October half term. She was quite reluctant as well and we convinced her. It was exactly a fun day for her although she did get reasonably paid. I haven't heard from them since then until this time when they want more babysitting.

[Prepenultimate]

If Sam wants to babysit, I would just get Sam to contact Mary direct.
If Sam doesn't want to do any more babysitting, then I would message Mary and add "How are you?"- and take it from there.

[Figgygal]

well they are rude fuckers
I would block the cheeky twat

[ahagwearsapointybonnet]

If you want to know what's going on, why not just phone rather than message, and have a proper talk about it? Or if it's gone past the point of caring, just ignore the message...

[CheddarGorgeous]

We were ghosted by a couple for about 10 weeks last year. Previously saw them every week.

Turned out they were in the process of separating and going through hell. When they came out the other end they were grateful for their friends so support.

Don't be a pushover but don't assume they're rude or be rude back.

[MRex]

@Piglet89 but expects us to take in parcels for her
This isn't possible unless she is specifically writing "To Neighbour, Care of Piglet at number 89 Piglet Rd". She's just buying stuff online, not actively trying to inconvenience you and she won't have any control over random delivery guys from Hermes or wherever picking your door rather than a different one or taking the parcel for later collection.