To ask how to reply to this text?

[MissEliza]

Dh and I have been good friends with a couple, we'll call Mary and John, for 7i or 8 years. Since the beginning of last year, it feels like John and Mary ghosted us and the rest of our friendship circle. They have turned down every invitation as a couple or simply not shown up without explanation and John has made an excuse every time dh has invited him for a pint. Over that time, the only time Mary has got in touch is to ask if my oldest dc can babysit their dcs, maybe four or five times. The last time was in October and we've had no contact with then since. We didn't even get a Christmas card and I've noticed John trying to avoid me in the street more than once!!
Today I received a message from Mary on my WhatsApp but addressed to my dc. It said like 'Sam (my dc) would you be able to babysit for us next Friday?' She has to know it's my phone number as the profile has my picture! AIBU to think when we've barely spoken to them in over a year and it's actually my phone she should really be saying 'Hi Eliza could you ask Sam if she would babysit for us'? Tbh Sam doesn't even want the babysitting money. The other times she did it, we persuaded her to help Mary and John out as it's very difficult to find babysitters. Right now I feel like if she can't talk to us, why should we do her a 'favour'.
How should I reply?

[MRex]

@Piglet89 but expects us to take in parcels for her
This isn't possible unless she is specifically writing "To Neighbour, Care of Piglet at number 89 Piglet Rd". She's just buying stuff online, not actively trying to inconvenience you and she won't have any control over random delivery guys from Hermes or wherever picking your door rather than a different one or taking the parcel for later collection.

[Poorolddaddypig]

I’d just be honest and say ‘Hi Mary. I’m quite shocked that you’re contacting my daughter to work for you since you and John seem to have been deliberately avoiding DH and I for some time now - in fact, you must know that this is my phone and not Sam’s and yet you’re writing a message directly to Sam, presumably to avoid having to even contact me via message! Its obviously quite hurtful to be suddenly ignored by friends with no explanation, and I don’t really think it’s appropriate to be contacting my daughter when you don’t seem to want a relationship with me any more. If something has happened and I’ve got the wrong end of the stick then happy to chat. Otherwise, take care.

[LizzieAnt]

I'd be inclined to take @AndwhenyougethereFoffsomemore's approach. You really have no idea why they're behaving like this, so maybe give them the benefit of the doubt. We never know what's going on in someone else's life and it never hurts to be kind.

[Poorolddaddypig]

I don’t get all these Mumsnet ‘smart’ replies in cases like this. Just be honest and/or ask what’s going on.

[Honeyroar]

I think passing the message onto Sam is the right thing to do - let Sam decide.id send a text back saying “this isn’tSam’s phone! I’ve told Sam-and they’ll let you know if they want to.”

[Honeyroar]

But I agree- you’ve nothing left to lose by adding “Are you guys ok? You seem a bit distant lately.”

[pigsDOfly]

@Piglet89 Sounds like you live next door to my neighbour.

Sometimes she cuts me dead, sometimes she chats as if we're great friends.

During one of her cutting dead phases I was asked by a delivery person to take in a parcel for them, when I said I'd rather not, the delivery person said 'oh, but they've got your address on their door as the place to leave their parcels.' Needless to say, I didn't take in the parcel.

[Derbee]

I’d ignore the message personally.

But if you want to put her in her place, you could write back with “sorry, who is this?” Or say “Sams quite busy these days and only babysits for close friends. Sorry we couldn’t help”

Or if you actually want to know what the issue is, just ask why they’ve ghosted you?

[Straycatstrut]

"This is not Sam's phone, however I have asked her and to be honest she isn't keen on babysitting anymore. Eliza."

I wouldn't go into the whole drama. I honestly couldn't be bothered!

[MissEliza]

Yes I've passed the message on and that's it. I'm actually at the point where I don't care the reason why they are behaving like this.

[Straycatstrut]

“Sams quite busy these days and only babysits for close friends. Sorry we couldn’t help”

Ooo I like that. Ouch! I wouldn't say sorry though.

[justasking111]

I would not want my child involved in this family to be honest, they sound odd for whatever reason.

[fedup21]

I wouldn’t want my child babysitting for them-that sounds really strange!

They actually don’t sound like nice reasonable people tbh. What is something went wrong with the house/kids when babysitting -do you feel they would be supportive of your child? From what you’ve said, I don’t think they would!

I’d steer well clear.

[Arthritica]

I wouldn’t read too much into them dropping you - often when couples turn inward it’s because of a problem they don’t feel comfortable sharing.

In one couple I know it was an affair, in another it was serious illness they didn’t want their kids to know so they just seemed to vanish socially for months.

When things settle down they might be glad of friends again.

[lunar1]

I just wouldn't reply, cheeky sods.

[pussycatinboots]

I'd probably not have passed the message on.
I might have replied "who is this"
Let them find some other mug.

[Piglet89]

@MRex make sure you’re in for deliveries? Or arrange for delivery at a time you are around? Or use one of the deposit boxes at the co op that you can collect your parcel from at a time convenient to you?

Instead of assuming neighbours will take in for you?

In any event, if people are decent enough to take in parcels and then text you to arrange collection etc, just make a bit of effort with them, is all I’m saying.

Like the idea of a Piglet Road, though.

[pussycatinboots]

Ask DD if she want's to, if not reply with the brilliant suggestion above:

“Sams quite busy these days and only babysits for close friends.”

and don't put sorry.

[Eddielzzard]

If your DD wants to do it, I'd give her Mary's number. Whatever Sam wants to do, I wouldn't respond to the message at all.

[alltakingandnogiving]

Maybe they don't see your DD's babysitting services as a favour, but as a mutually beneficial arrangement. In which case, your friendship with them is irrelevant. You passed the message along, which is the right thing to do.

[HollowTalk]

I think something is going on that they don't want to share with you, like an affair with someone who's part of the group.

[Absolutepowercorrupts]

Mumsnet is also the place where posters will give the most ridiculous reasons as to why someone is not being cheeky, the supposed back stories on here are far fetched. Nobody know why this couple have behaved in this way.
Op, I think you've done the right thing, just lie low and ignore anything else.

[Mary1935]

I’d say she could do it and cancel at last minute!!!😇😇

[bridgetreilly]

Well, it depends whether you actually want to try to continue your friendship with these people or not. If not, I would just not reply at all and even block the number.

[MissEliza]

Tbh since dd got a part time job and started making her own money, she barely babysits her younger sibling for us never mind other people. I think she'll wait and see how many hours she's getting in the restaurant she works before agreeing to babysit, so she may make up her mind too late for them. Normally I'd tell her that's being inconsiderate but not with those two.