To ask how to reply to this text?

[MissEliza]

Dh and I have been good friends with a couple, we'll call Mary and John, for 7i or 8 years. Since the beginning of last year, it feels like John and Mary ghosted us and the rest of our friendship circle. They have turned down every invitation as a couple or simply not shown up without explanation and John has made an excuse every time dh has invited him for a pint. Over that time, the only time Mary has got in touch is to ask if my oldest dc can babysit their dcs, maybe four or five times. The last time was in October and we've had no contact with then since. We didn't even get a Christmas card and I've noticed John trying to avoid me in the street more than once!!
Today I received a message from Mary on my WhatsApp but addressed to my dc. It said like 'Sam (my dc) would you be able to babysit for us next Friday?' She has to know it's my phone number as the profile has my picture! AIBU to think when we've barely spoken to them in over a year and it's actually my phone she should really be saying 'Hi Eliza could you ask Sam if she would babysit for us'? Tbh Sam doesn't even want the babysitting money. The other times she did it, we persuaded her to help Mary and John out as it's very difficult to find babysitters. Right now I feel like if she can't talk to us, why should we do her a 'favour'.
How should I reply?

[Arthritica]

Wow, quite the drip feed!

In which case, bin them, OP

[Jux]

I'd reply asking why John is always running away from you in the street with a big laughing emoji. Then she can decide whether you're joking or not for herself, and reply accordingly. With luck she'll be so embarrassed that she'll make John deliberately seek you out next time, and you can get to the bottom of it.

[AfterSchoolWorry]

I think you're mad to have convinced Sam to babysit last time for this user. That just teaches the child to be a mug. I also wouldn't have passed the message on this time and would have blocked Mary long ago.

[OhCaptain]

Yeah that’s a pretty relevant drip feed 8 pages in!

[SunshineCake]

Did you just want lost of replies as everything you have just said should have been in your OP?

[Skittlesss]

That’s a bit of a drip feed!

Just ignore them then.

[Happyher]

Let DD decide if she wants to babysit (as you are doing). You can then decide if you can just let this friendship go. If yes fine, just forget about them as friends. If you value the friendship then speak to them. There may be a reason. Maybe financial problems, maybe one had an affair, illness etc

[Sparklynails7]

@MissEliza so they ditched you when they found a "better offer"? I hate people that only come crawling back when they need something. Next time they ask say: "Sorry, Sam's found a better offer." You shouldn't let these snobs walk all over you because they'll keep treating you like dirt. Explain this to your daughter too xx

[KateW73]

"Who is this?"

Best suggestion so far.

[theendoftheendoftheend]

Honestly I'd just ignore it

[msgreen]

Is there a chance he or she had an affair with
Anyone in your circle?
Maybe not you but everyone they are blanking ,
Nought so strange as folk,,,,
Don’t take it personally, the babysitter thing is another thing.
Are they embarrassed about something?
People often withdraw from their friends when they aren’t coping .

[Madamum18]

This will niggle away until you ask her directly why things are as they are! Just ring her/pop round (or text if you dont want to speak and say that you get the feeling that she/they are avoiding you and are wondering why! Take it from there.

[MadMadaMim]

Maybe people are replying in this way because you only give the actual full story on page 7.

People reply in response to info they are given.

[Aderyn19]

So many people just put up with bad manners
It's incredibly rude to contact the OPs dd in this way, using OPs number and not acknowledging her in any way. And that's before you get to the behaviour of just not turning up when expected.
She wouldn't have received a polite response from me!

[VeeJayBee]

If you’re bothered about the friendship and concerned what might be going on with them, why don’t you just ask? No harm? You could just say, sorry Sam can’t babysit. Are you guys ok? You’ve not seemed yourselves for months and we’re worried about you. Let me know if you’d like to talk.” And leave it at that. You never know, they might have problems you don’t know about. If she’s vague or off with you, well you’ve tried and done all you can. But at least you’d have remained kind, polite and thoughtful and tried to sort out the problem and reached out to them if they’re not ok x

[buckeejit]

Well in that case Mary & John are CFs of the highest order ' you should go with the 'only for close friends' text. I'd pay dd not to babysit for them!

But also add in a 'hope you're well - just checking that you know this is my number as you didn't address or acknowledge me at all. Anyway, we're all good in case you were wondering'

[IUsedToKnowThat]

I wouldn’t send my daughter to their home - the way they have treated you gives me the eeby jeebies. I would answer, Hi, she’s not available, Eliza

[HairyPottyMouth]

“No”

[MimiLaRue]

As someone else has said- being kind goes BOTH ways. I'm not sure why people are expecting you to run around after them checking nothing is wrong whilst they can ignore you for months then just send a text for a favour without so much as a hi or how are you? They have been fcking rude and I would drop them like a hot potato.

Its not your job to run after them and check on them and cater to their problems FGS, I'm baffled why so many people in this thread suggested that. Your update confirms what I thought all along- they arent in the middle of a crisis, theyre just selfish twats. People are always desperate to find some deep reason or excuse behind rude behaviour when most of the time, its just that- rude, selfish behaviour.

[Ellapaella]

They sound like a pair of CF's in so many ways. How rude not to turn up to dinner when expected. And I totally agree the least you do when you text someone is say Hi.
You've been kind to pass the message on OP, personally I'd have just ignored the text or just replied 'Sorry this isn't Sam's phone, you've got the wrong number' and left it at that. Life is too short to second guess people all the time. Tiresome.

[yabadabadontdoit]

OP the advice to be kind because you don’t know what is going on in their lives was based on the information you gave us. If you had given the information in that last post you would have got more useful advice.

[Wantosleep39]

I hate this kind of people who ditch you for better offer. How childish.

[MissEliza]

@di2004 that was the whole point of my original post. Was I being sensitive to find that a bit rude? I don't care too much that this couple seem to have ghosted us. I just felt after not having been in contact for so long, she might have said hi. After lots of helpful replies initially, a lot of posters have come on to tell me I should be kind because I don't know what's going on in their life. I do have a fairly good idea. Mary and John have just moved on and found a new set of friends based on parents of their dc's friends. They have every right to do this obviously but a couple of the times they've not shown up at something organised by one of my friends when they were expected, it's turned out that they ditched us at the last minute for a better offer. Last time it happened my friend was actually holding off serving dinner until they came so someone else texted Mary and it emerged they'd been invited to dinner by their dc's friend's parents. She'd even confirmed two days previously she was coming.
Anyway thank you to all for your advice regarding my actual question. My dd told Mary she isn't sure of her plans yet.

[Boutique994]

one word: NO

[di2004]

I find it odd that she sent a message to your WhatsApp and addressed it to Sam ( not sure how old your dc is).
I think you’ve done more than enough to be friendly, time to let this one go.