To ask how to reply to this text?

[MissEliza]

Dh and I have been good friends with a couple, we'll call Mary and John, for 7i or 8 years. Since the beginning of last year, it feels like John and Mary ghosted us and the rest of our friendship circle. They have turned down every invitation as a couple or simply not shown up without explanation and John has made an excuse every time dh has invited him for a pint. Over that time, the only time Mary has got in touch is to ask if my oldest dc can babysit their dcs, maybe four or five times. The last time was in October and we've had no contact with then since. We didn't even get a Christmas card and I've noticed John trying to avoid me in the street more than once!!
Today I received a message from Mary on my WhatsApp but addressed to my dc. It said like 'Sam (my dc) would you be able to babysit for us next Friday?' She has to know it's my phone number as the profile has my picture! AIBU to think when we've barely spoken to them in over a year and it's actually my phone she should really be saying 'Hi Eliza could you ask Sam if she would babysit for us'? Tbh Sam doesn't even want the babysitting money. The other times she did it, we persuaded her to help Mary and John out as it's very difficult to find babysitters. Right now I feel like if she can't talk to us, why should we do her a 'favour'.
How should I reply?

[Nonnymum]

If Sam doesn't what to sit. I would just say something simple. Like. Hi this is xs Phone nut Sam's . I've not heard from you for ages. I hope you are OK. Sam isn't babysitting anymore. Then just leave it.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

You’ve tried to see the, and if they want to rekindle the friendship or explain, the ball is in their court. I wouldn’t stoop to their level and would simply say something along the lines of: “This is Eliza. Sam’s number is x. Perhaps you would prefer to contact her directly.” If you want to say anything else, maybe “I was surprised to hear from you. I thought you didn’t want to be in contact with us anymore.”

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Maybe add “hope you are ok”.

[InsomCho]

Have you actually reached out to her at all to ask her how she is/ why they've disappeared off the face of the earth? There could be all kinds of good reasons why they've not been up for socialising. (It could even be something that someone in the group knows and Mary and John assume they've shared with the rest of you).

You haven't said (unless I've missed it) that she's actually been ignoring your messages/calls, just that they've made their excuses/not turned up socially, which isn't the same thing. It's doesn't seem to be personal, so I'd just give her a call and ask her how she is.

[FilledSoda]

To the pp saying 'you don't know what private issues have caused then to withdraw ' well yes that's a possibility but would you then send that message knowing full well whose phone it is?
She can't even acknowledge her friend

[NYnachos]

OP I think you've done the right thing. I had friends who ghosted us - didn't acknowledge birthdays (even with a text), no Christmas card etc.
It's a bit upsetting, but you have to move on. Her sending that message about your DD babysitting was very cheeky (& bizarre).

[Unsureconfused46]

@filledsoda yes that's true. It's very odd how she addressed Sam directly on her mum's phone thus ignoring the mum completely. Whatever issues are occurring this is plain odd

[l0v3f00d]

@sparklesocks best response by a mile

[maddening]

Reply "sorry who is this?"

[maddening]

Sorry realise pp got there first 😁

[Charley50]

I would actually contact her and ask if everything is ok and that you miss her/ their company. She'll either ignore or maybe give you an explanation. As they've ghosted all of you, I wouldn't take it personally, it's to do with them, not you.

[Wonkybanana]

Even if something had been going on, she could have started her message with a 'sorry I haven't been in touch'. That she ignored that suggests she's a cf.

[Charley50]

Presumably she pays DD to babysit, so not that much a CF?

[ElderAve]

If they have been good friends and are being like this with the whole group, I'd be worried about them not offended. Have none of you ever asked what's wrong?

[AppleBang]

Instead of playing stupid 'clever' text games, I'd simply say ' hello! Hope you're well. I'll pass this on to Sam and ask her to drop you a line if she's able to'

[Atilathehunter]

I’m surprised about some of the responses on here, they’re a bit rude.
If it were me, in real life rather than what I’d say to a stranger on the internet, I’d be the bigger person and simply say “Hi Mary, not sure what Sam’s plans here, here’s her number to contact her directly. Atila” (and add Sam’s contact details obviously)

[MissEliza]

I don't think she's a CF at all. I just found it rude to send a message to my phone for my dd which doesn't even acknowledge me. That's rude in itself IMO but is even worse when I haven't seen or heard from her in months. Anyway I've answered, saying I will pass the message on, which I have. As I said early on (RTFT) dd doesn't really like babysitting especially on a weekend night- which is her right. In the past we'd convinced her to do it to help them out. I don't really feel the need to do that when they can't even say 'hi how are you' and try to avoid me in the street.

[letsdolunch321]

IGNORE is what I would do

[CallmeBadJanet]

Somethings up. Affair/marriage breaking down/redundancy/ money problems/child with a problem. Give them the benefit of the doubt, ask if they are ok.

[Rtruth]

I’d go with similar to @loobyloo1234 said. But interested to see response!!

[PlomBear]

Maybe she’s trying to get to your husband? In which case, a simple text should suffice “STAY AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND ”

[Tistheseason17]

Personally, I wouldhave ignored and not passed on the message.

I kind of gives her permission to do it to you, again.

[Iriahm]

Be kind. Don’t go to their levels as it could be something really wrong - family member poorly, money etc. Are all your friends in group the same? We’ve had a change of dynamics in a longtime friendship group recently and it’s been unsettling.

[Zena1973]

Have you asked your friends what's the problem? Are you ok? Can we help? Seems pretty obvious. Better to communicate positively and with good will then be passive aggressive and second guess what's happening for these people.

[BusyEmz]

They are rude, like everyone is mentioning just say nope. Don’t ask how they are doing since they clearly want to be left alone.

They won’t like when you start doing it and realise they don’t have nobody to baby sit for them no more. They will come running back an that will be when you address it.