To ask for help from fellow procastinating under achievers?

[Hingeandbracket]

It started when I failed to do any work at University because there was no-one there to make me.

I have lurched through various jobs with varying degrees of success and or failure.

I berate myself for being lazy and disorganised - but surely it's not as simple as that.

Has anyone climbed out of the pit of their own despair in such circumstances and gone on to become Sir Richard Branson?

Isn't executive function disorder just one of the proposed new names for ADHD? It's definitely executive function that I'm lacking. Every time I read descriptions of what executive function is supposed to do for you it blows my mind because - really? THAT's the software other people's brains are running?

Support definitely makes a huge difference. I would be in a totally different place mentally if I wasn't with DH, he really does hold me up emotionally and practically.

“ I mean, no one really accomplishes much totally on their own. Isn't this thread an illustration of how many women are trying to keep themselves motivated and active without very much practical or emotional support at all?”

I’ve belonged to several writing groups who have been really encouraging and helpful. Still haven’t finished the novel as I’m the person who actually says “fuck it” and has the glass of wine and bath, or plays on MN instead.

Ah, but if it was where your next pay cheque was coming from, or you had some hot shot agent on your back saying, the publishers want this thing finished or the TV deal's not happening...that would be a different level of incentive, wouldn't it? (As an aside, successful novelists tend to be an abnormally focused, independent, obsessive breed, often quite hard to live with - not necessarily a personality you want in a partner or parent).

I'm guessing your novel is very much a personal project that you don't expect to get recognition for, let alone earnings? In short, a labour-intensive, fascinating but emotionally exhausting hobby (sorry for such a dismissive word)? In that context, and with all the other demands on your time, it's not surprising it gets put on the back burner. Life happens.

Arthur, totally, yes. Also I’ve been put off because it’s not the isolated career I’d been hoping for. I did have an agent asking for the rest of it but she’s given up now.

I’d like to achieve something other than my crappy career though. And I’m neither partner nor parent. I see how passionate other people are about hobbies and I think that’s great.

Yeah that's me. Grew in a very committed Christian Zionist family (Nazi's picked on us as Irish travellers hence we were pro Israel). I wanted to be a history teacher. Did my degree and realised the level of collusion/geopolitical goals/further goals and felt like I just lost all hope. Millions died to achieve those goals and millions more could. Now I work intermittently in a low stress job (hair and makeup). I struggle with my mental health every single day.

My teenage DS has struggled with organisation, depression and mood swings. A teacher has suggested he may have undiagnosed ADHD. I have made an appointment with our GP. Is this the best place to start?

I haven’t read the whole thread, but I would recommend checking out Gretchen Rubin. Her work May help you to understand yourself better and how to get the best from yourself :) good luck!

Obviously a lot has happened in the months since this thread was started.

I didn't get around to speaking to my GP before lockdown so am considering initiating the discussion soon.

Has anyone else explored this further, medically?