Oh fuck, I’ve no excuse not to be part of the PTA

[MoonBaby1]

I’ve used the new baby excuse for as long as possible. He’s almost two so that’s wearing thin. I only work three days a week and it’s flexible around school times.

It’s only a tiny rural school that relies on parent volunteers so I’m just going to have to dive in right?

I don’t mind donating to fund certain things, though. Especially books etc. And I do think some social activities are needed and wonderful.

That’s why I’m happy to give money. But I don’t want to stand around for hours having “fun” at a fair!

It is a pain when you know lots aren’t paying, too. I agree with you there!

Don’t make it into a drama! Just don’t volunteer.

I really wanted to get involved in the PTA and join the committee but have found it virtually impossible. All meetings have been in the evening on school days so I need to be at home putting kids to bed (DH works away and not many babysitting options).

A few people have fed back that varying times might help more people get involved but it’s not changed.

I’ve wanted to volunteer at events but can’t take my baby (in pram) and no childcare. Not their issue to sort out obviously but I get frustrated that I want to help and can’t.

I donate prizes for raffles etc and support all events if I can. Got an event this evening actually and I managed to get a babysitter!!

The PTA members here do all seem nice & friendly though, doesn’t seem particularly cliquey.

OhCaptain some children have very cruel, sad and unhappy home lives and school is the only chance they get to experience many many normal childhood things.
I am suprised you think that's unusual.

I am well aware of that, Book. But I think anyone who paints the PTA as saviours of poor, underprivileged children is a little tone deaf and insensitive.

And I also don’t believe for a second that those children don’t see a park!

I bet you want all the benefits the PTA provide for your child though!? So yes YABU... get stuck in and help!

"tabbynot all children have the opportunity to go to a local park. The climbing equipment in the playground at school may be the only chance to play. It also teaches important physical skills plus social skills ("wait your turn")."
There is a playground right outside the school gates. It's free. Mist kids walk through it on their way home. Most if not all kids gets to go to the playground.

I certainly don't think the PTA are 'saviours of the poor' and I never said that children who may be suffering in bad homes are 'poor' either.
Children from rich homes can suffer neglect and abuse too.

I didn’t mean financially poor 🙄

Actually though the PTA I belonged to had planned to spend some of the money we had raised on playground climbing equipment but were told we couldn't as that comes under what the local authority provides. So it is part of what is expected a primary school to have.
Anyway...
Be in a PTA or don't. It's not compulsory. However when that school down the road that would be convenient for your kids to go to fails miserably at its ofsted inspection - because parental involvement is one of the things the school is marked on. Personally I think that nuts. Personally I think ofsted as a whole is nuts.
Infact this whole thread is nuts. The OP doesn't want to help out with the PTA. So what. As I said it's not compulsory. I enjoyed taking part. People (in mumsnet land) seem to get their knickers in a twist about such silly things.

Of course you have an excuse. "I don't want to."

^^exactly this.

I love the idea its some kind of mums clique. I'm on the extended committee and have a role. I've never even had a conversation with our current chair 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to. If it's such a small school they won't need so many volunteers anyway.

Bookmums08 - a trip to the pantomime is fun but not an educational necessity and given the area where I live and the number of very cheap shows by amateur groups I doubt it was a 'first' for any of the kids. And if I pool out all the money I am being asked to 'donate' I could have easily bought all of us tickets for a few shows already. Literally the pantomime is the only event I can mildly agree with. The rest is pointless. So overall don't see the point of the PTA at all.

But you’re happy to let other parents fund raise etc ?

Purpletigers - other parents can do as they wish. I can't tell them what to do. I just don't see the point of the whole thing.

Be strong and say no!
Or, you can be like me and act helpless and then flatter all the competent women with effusive praise every chance you get.

PTA veteran here. Pick some way of supporting the school that you're happy with and stick to it. Mine was books. Every now and then I'd do a supermarket sweep of the charity shops for good quality books. The school would give me a list of books they were in particular need of (wimpy kid etc). I never spent more than a few quid each time.
I rarely went to meetings, didn't help out at fairs, or bake etc. School very much appreciated it.

oblada I think you’ll find that PTA money is now going on books, furniture, cleaning equipment ...not just trips.

It’s not an optional bonus these days.

Mintychoc1 - well I'm pretty confident this isn't the case in our school.... I would know... it goes on stuff that are definitely not necessary.
I'd be surprised it went on cleaning equipment anywhere tbh and if it's true it goes back to my first argument - scrap the PTA to force the gvt to fund school properly!

I have found with school groups and other voluntary things, it’s always a tiny group of people that end up doing all the work. And it is thankless. If everyone pitched in, it would be effortless. But they don’t....

@inarrears snap.

I have a job but volunteer for nothing else ever.

I'd be surprised it went on cleaning equipment anywhere tbh and if it's true it goes back to my first argument - scrap the PTA to force the gvt to fund school properly!

It will take a generation of young people leaving school without having passed exams etc before the government would be willing to change their ways. And which of us is going to sacrifice our current children's education so that the next generation get a better deal?

The government know full well that people will pay for things themselves rather than see their children lose out on education. I feel pretty powerless to change things.

I'm not on the pta, honestly not my thing, but I'm the mug one who drove the sports teams everywhere. Always the same sets of kids, always the same parents who do it, started saying no when I overheard a parent (who consistently dodged it) say something like ... they can't be arsed with that shit and got better things to do like enjoy their peace.
Luckily, soon after, my sporty kid moved on to high school and my remaining kid isn't likely to join the football team.

If you do don't gick the "happy to help" box next to any events at the start of the school year. You WILL get an email telling you you are coordinating the fireworks/Christmas bazzar and Mayfair.
Enter at your peril.

Just say no OP.

Once you start it becomes so liberating.

No more going and doing things I have no interest in.

to be fair to the pta at my dc school: they organised handwash (&refills) & paper towels for every sink at school.

I'm happy to spend a fortune at bake sales but I will not become pta member.