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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh fuck, I’ve no excuse not to be part of the PTA

201 replies

MoonBaby1 · 25/02/2020 23:04

I’ve used the new baby excuse for as long as possible. He’s almost two so that’s wearing thin. I only work three days a week and it’s flexible around school times.

It’s only a tiny rural school that relies on parent volunteers so I’m just going to have to dive in right?

OP posts:
Unmarriedhousewife · 27/02/2020 20:33

@TabbyMumz so you dont think playground equipment or tablets enhance education? Without the pta your school's budget would not have stretched to these luxuries!! Get involved, give your opinion, all fundraising bids are voted on. The teachers ask for these things!!

oblada · 27/02/2020 20:43

Here is a thought - maybe schools are underfunded because the government knows people will bridge the gap via the PTA?? Just a thought. Maybe if nobody got involved the government would step in and provide better budgets? We don't have the PTA equivalent in France (not aware of it anyway) and I am not aware that schools there are particularly dire...
Anyway I don't get involved in PTA, doesn't interest me, we're not in a deprived area so I'm not sure there is such a benefit in organising movie nights, panto nights etc and with all the requests for 'donations' im not sure it really is that useful overall.

TabbyMumz · 27/02/2020 20:46

"@TabbyMumzso you dont think playground equipment or tablets enhance education? Without the pta your school's budget would not have stretched to these luxuries!! Get involved, give your opinion, all fundraising bids are voted on. The teachers ask for these things!!

No, I dont think playground equipment makes much difference to their education. It gives them something to climb on, that's all...and they can get that at the local park. Kids have had bags of fun for years in that playground without a climbing frame. As for tablets, they've been teaching the basics at primary schools without them for years. The teachers probably ask for them because they cant think of anything else.

TabbyMumz · 27/02/2020 20:51

Plus, years ago, schools didnt need this sort of stuff and everyone was happy..parents werent harassed to give money all the time and kids were well educated.

Proseccoagain · 27/02/2020 22:17

I was a teacher, and when I left and had my family there was no way I would ever have been going back as part of the PTA, especially as it was the same school.....

squeekums · 27/02/2020 22:35

Or other peoples kids...

Well that wouldnt be a lie.....
Other peoples kids are annoying and yes i accept thats how others may see dd

I despair at the parents who think its not their problem, they would be the first to complain when the disco, panto trips, fairs get cancelled. We all have a responsibility, if you all stepped forward, you wouldn't have to do it all because the tasks would be spread out. Also, we also need opinions, ideas, a partner, friend, parent who works somewhere or knows someone who can get us a freebie or discount

We didnt even go to last years christmas thing, dd didnt want to
She isnt a disco fan either, too loud
Im not comfortable asking friends for freebies or discounts. I dont even like selling raffle tickets, i just buy the book

The school didnt want to accept our offer to replace all door handles (brought about by DD getting locked in a class due to a faulty handle, we were prepared to spend a few grand to do whole school)
Yet would take the cash for new sports equipment, which they have coming out their ass. Needless to say we held onto our cash and not even a month later the handle that started it all had been removed and replaced due to being faulty/illegal/out of date by decades

cherish123 · 27/02/2020 23:04

If you work 3 days and have a 2 year old you probably don't have time for PTA. It's always the working parents who volunteer. Leave it to the non-working for a change. It's their turn.

Xmasbaby11 · 27/02/2020 23:24

I think if your PTA is valuable to the school and your dc, and you're able to help, that would be a positive thing to do.

We have a school of 600 pupils and only 8 members of PTA, so we work hard. People don't realise how much work it is to put on a school disco!

I work 4 days a week with 2dc in school. Dd1 has ASD. I don't feel like I have a lot of free time but I wanted to help with PTA to feel part of school community, and I've made great friends. Everyone is v down to earth, funny, friendly. I'm a naturally organised person so I enjoy my secretary role. We have made difference to the school, creating a library, getting sound clouds for dining rooms to make them quieter, and putting on lovely events.

dustibooks · 27/02/2020 23:31

I cheerfully dodged the PTA, using the convenient excuse that I'd already done my bit because I'd served on the committee of the local parent and baby group for several years.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 27/02/2020 23:57

I won't do it.

Barney60 · 28/02/2020 00:47

your very sorry just unable to fit it into your schedule at press, if things change in near future you will get back to them.

oblada · 28/02/2020 07:20

"I despair at the parents who think its not their problem, they would be the first to complain when the disco, panto trips, fairs get cancelled"

I couldn't care less of they cancelled the disco, panto and fairs. None of those are needed. I rly don't have any gifts to 're-gift' and I don't want to give my kids money for them buy me something I'll never use at the 'Mother day's fair'. In all honesty none of this is needed in a school.

We have a very active community centre and id be much happier volunteering there if I could. They organise loads of great stuff for the kids. But the school, no, it's for teaching/learning, the funding for that should come from the government, end of.

Ragwort · 28/02/2020 07:21

Tabby I don't think that is strictly true, I am over 60 & can clearly remember my parents being involved in the PTA & even digging the foundations for a swimming pool.

notsohippychick · 28/02/2020 07:36

I just joined my sons PTA. Quite simply, if they didn’t have people attending and helping it would fold. Now my son goes to a special needs school of just 89 children. Most of which come in a taxi so the parents don’t often come into school. The kids need all the fund raising they can get!

Im actually enjoying it and have made some nice friends through it.

bookmum08 · 28/02/2020 08:37

oblada the PTA I was on raised money so every child in the school went on a theatre trip. For some of the children this would be the first and only time they go to a theatre in their childhood.
If you don't think the Mother's Day event is very good - suggest something else.
tabby not all children have the opportunity to go to a local park. The climbing equipment in the playground at school may be the only chance to play. It also teaches important physical skills plus social skills ("wait your turn").
My daughter hated the discos and the fairs. But just because she didn't enjoy them I know 100s of other children do.
It isn't always about just your children.

OhCaptain · 28/02/2020 08:53

Jesus! What part of the world are you in that kids have never gone to a park?! Genuinely shocked at that!

I think that’s another issue with the PTA. Most of the “events” are crap. That’s not anyone’s fault but it’s just the nature of them.

I’d rather spend my time elsewhere! I always give money when asked. I bake and I let the kids buy cakes that get thrown out when they come home which is a massive waste. But they enjoy it so we do it.

But the discos and fairs etc? No, I wouldn’t go near them! 😬

OhCaptain · 28/02/2020 08:54

@bookmum08 thanks for answering re the skills! I wouldn’t have thought of that stuff at all!

KittyMcV · 28/02/2020 09:01

If you are worrying, then you must at some level feel like you should be a little more involved. Think seriously about how much that actually is. Is it possible to say that you don't want to be on any committees but you would be willing to give of your time 3-4 times a year, for example. If you decide what you are willing to do, set clear parameters at the beginning and then be firm within your boundaries, then I think you'd be surprised how your support would help. Otherwise, don't volunteer and don't feel guilty. You sound busy enough tbh.

GoodbyeRosie · 28/02/2020 09:03

Loving all the cool mums in here who wouldn't go near the school parents association. Good for you.

If you do want to enhance your underfunded schools curriculum or have fun activities provided for your children, then that's up to you, but there's no need to slag off the incredibly hard work that does go into this.

Even if you think it's naff and boring, believe me your kids enjoy have performers come in to do activities, they enjoy using VR headsets, enjoy the sports people and outdoor spaces that the fundraising and grant applications applied for by the parents groups provide.

I hope to God you don't pass this sneery, selfish attitude on to your kids.

bookmum08 · 28/02/2020 09:03

OhCaptain yes some children don't go to parks. Sometimes it can be as there is no park in walking distance and the parents can't afford the bus fare or struggle to get there because they have mobility issues.
Sometimes it could be simply because the parents can't be arsed because they are 'bad' parents. There are 100s of reasons.

bookmum08 · 28/02/2020 09:06

Oh and if you think the event are 'crap' then suggest something different.

OhCaptain · 28/02/2020 09:20

Sorry @bookmum08 I just find it extremely hard to believe that there’s a child who’s only experience ever of a park or playground in their whole lives is through the PTA at their school.

I’ve never, ever heard of that in my life!

I hope to God you don't pass this sneery, selfish attitude on to your kids.

Is it really selfish? Genuinely, if people are happy to donate money without having to get involved in the “events” is that selfish?

isabellerossignol · 28/02/2020 09:21

Jesus! What part of the world are you in that kids have never gone to a park?! Genuinely shocked at that!

Well there isn't one in the village where I live, so whilst I'm not going to claim that my kids have never been to one, it's certainly not an every day thing. I'm equally shocked by people who go to the park every day or several times a week.

OhCaptain · 28/02/2020 09:24

But that’s what I mean. I cannot believe that is a child’s only opportunity to go to a park!

isabellerossignol · 28/02/2020 09:40

But that’s what I mean. I cannot believe that is a child’s only opportunity to go to a park!

Fair enough. I also think that would be pretty unlikely, although I suppose anything is possible.

Our PTA generally raise money for fairly vital things. A lot gets spent on books and computer equipment. They subsidise the cost of an annual trip to see a pantomime, and it costs a fortune and I'm not sure that it's a great use of the money. Everyone is charged say £10 for the trip and the PTA pays the rest but loads of parents who can easily afford it refuse to even pay the £10 because they know that if they don't pay, the PTA will fund it instead. So you essentially get half the parents paying for everyone. I don't think a trip to the theatre is some sort of basic educational need. In all honesty I don't know anyone who goes to the theatre as an adult, I think theatre is a very niche interest.