What do the cloth addicts/babywearers/BLWers etc do when their kids get older???

[BabyofMine]

Having a small child I’m fascinated by how obsessed certain parents (ok, honestly it’s mostly mothers) get with certain aspects of parenting. To a crazy amazing degree. So far I’ve noticed the complete fanaticism with:

Cloth nappies
Baby wearing
Breastfeeding
Baby led weaning
Wooden/open ended toys
Certain brands of children’s clothes (Scandinavia/ethical brands)
Prams (having so many and getting new ones all the time)
Car seat safety (rear facing, some people I know seem to know every seat on the market!)

I can’t believe how obsessed some are with the above! Just to clarify I have an interest in most of the above and think there’s nothing wrong with any of the above! I just wonder, if you have older children, do you know anyone who was fanatical with any of the above (or were you yourself)? And if so what do they/you DO with themselves now those things aren’t important?! It just seems an all encompassing part of some of my friends/acquaintances lives I can’t imagine what they will do when our children get older!!

Especially wonder about the “cloth bumming” mums when their children toilet train!!!

Having done co-sleeping, slings, extended breast feeding (not quite documentary-worthy but heading that way) etc, I then went back to work and invested in lots of films and tech so I could move to the benign neglect model

They become gymnastics mums whose kids have 67 different leotards, all with matching hair scrunchies and shorts, despite child not being able to hold a handstand

I didn't wear any of my babies, I carried them in a sling type thing. I loved it. I had both hands free, got on and off buses with no problems at all - back then we had to fold our buggies on the bus. And it was the 80s, I was very fashion conscious so it was all done in heels 😂 Of course I wouldn't recommend the heels to any new mums.

Surely they all become PTA members?!

Went back to work to save the world a different way. 13 years ago it wasn't such a lifestyle choice. Baby sling was useful and with 2 under 2 I got my money's worth from the cloth nappies and sold the whole lot to another family afterwards.

Now my teenagers skulk in their rooms playing PC games and wearing clothes from sports direct! Where did it all go wrong?

SATS once they can read (11+ from year 3)...then GCSEs and Uni from Y7. As well as musical instruments and clubs.

The people I know who are obsessive about some or all of this stuff (seems to be prams and certain clothes mostly) just keep having babies (and one in particular who has 11 barely mentions their kids once they turn about 5- she’s all about the babies). Or they constantly talk about having another at some point and what they’d call them, the pram(s) they’d buy blah blah blah. God knows what they’ll do when they can no longer have babies. Hope for grandchildren I guess.

What the hell is “cloth bumming”?

I get that certain people are really into “attachment” parenting and enjoy extolling the virtues of slings and bf and blw (fwiw I did all three but I had a Velcro bottle refuser who screamed blue murder in his pram and refused to be spoon fed. It deffo made my life easier to follow him and do these things. I don’t think I banged on about it though. But breast/bottle, sling/pram, blw/purées are all totally legit optional parenting choices aren’t they? Whereas extended rear facing is afaik much safer than forward facing - it’s not really a choice is it? And how is someone “obsessed” - surely you choose one car seat and that’s that?

Continue to raise their children with thought and care?

I did most of these, the obsession and knowledge acquired was insane. I went through periods of doing the same thing with anything I purchased, then did an all encompassing degree. I am still a bit obsessive though, for example if I start enjoying a new TV series I find out everything about the actors lives and read articles about the show and before I know it I’m an one woman wiki, I don’t even notice I’ve done it, it drives DH mad. Must be a particularly useless personality type!

Now my teenagers skulk in their rooms playing PC games and wearing clothes from sports direct! Where did it all go wrong?

Mine are tiktok obsessives who would die without their false eyelashes...the girl version it sounds like

I'm one of your former breastfeeding/baby wearing/ car seat obsessed mums, who now fits into the vegan/ PTA bracket. Feel a bit deflated to be such a cliche! Think much of mine stems from being a bit bored and wanting to do something useful with my time.

Dunno tbh my youngest is still a cloth bummed, Scandi clad, wrap worn toddler. And he’s my last too. Most probably just become more obsessed with dungarees and badges.

Send their snowflakes to school, badly equipped for school life and then proceed to make life very difficult for staff whenever they aren't happy with something (almost constantly)

Or maybe take up collecting reusable straws

HarrietM87 I agree. However, I think there is a difference between those of use who just do these things and get on with it and the evangelical parents who behave as if they have just invented the wheel and have to put a label on everything.

I know what you mean OP. I have done some, probably most, of the above, but it wasn't some BIG THING that took over my life. My friend posts about the benefits of breastfeeding (I breastfed too, for quite some time so am not anti) on Facebook almost daily. It's her second child and she did it with the first too. It's pretty dull.

I did all of those things. I wanted to do what was best for DC.

I still do.

So I work. Help with homework. Take DC to clubs. Organise play dates, days out, holidays. Play Mario Kart (and win less and less each time the older they get)

Just parent stuff. Like all the other stuff was too.

In my experience: vocal mindfulness, yoga and veganism.

(NB not suggesting all vegans are vocal about it; most aren't. This one really is.)

Oh.

And I'm still good friends with my baby wearing/breastfeeding mum friends.

We meet up a night a month and have dinner/drinks. Kids play in school holidays (they're all at different schools)

The obsessions are very different when you're a new parent and on maternity leave.

Normal life kicks back in eventually.

Oh dear I must've missed the memo, I only did the cloth nappies and wooden toys...

Erm, afterwards I had great fun selling it all?

You seem a bit bothered by it all though OP

That was pretty much me. Once they aren't babies there are certainly fewer gadgets, sadly, but there is school and reading (so many trips to the library) and after school activities to throw yourself into (not to mention further babies) and if one of your kids likes football you can spend half your life just dealing with football boots (buying, swapping, cleaning, finding) and shuttling them around. Also organic vegetarian cooking (I gave that one a miss) and getting your kids to do gardening and art projects with you and taking them on wholesome family walks. (I gave the gardening and walking a miss too, though I more than made up for it by making pretty much a full time job out of running football teams.)

So yeah, if you are that mum, the one who is focusing all of your considerable intelligence and emotional energy on your children, you will find plenty of things to occupy you right through their first year of uni. And probably beyond that, but my oldest is only 19 so I haven't gotten any further than that so far.

I'm sure the OP meant to be taking a gentle dig at those of us who are full on with motherhood, but honestly what's wrong with mindful parenting? Or loving a well designed gadget? I was sad to pack away my baby wipe warmer and Bumbo seat, but am already looking forward to getting them out for my grandchildren.

Hopefully their kids won’t buy plastic crap
Eat plastic crap , will care about others in the world and our planet
Cotton nappies, breast feeding we all should must stop feeding kids formula and dressing them in stuff that’s bad for the people on this planet and the planet

Ps
Who wants a home full of primary coloured
Plastic toys , then a landfill full of the same
Later on , wooden toys are beautiful and will keep and hand on to others ,
Just don’t be sold by adverts and marketers