What do the cloth addicts/babywearers/BLWers etc do when their kids get older???

[BabyofMine]

Having a small child I’m fascinated by how obsessed certain parents (ok, honestly it’s mostly mothers) get with certain aspects of parenting. To a crazy amazing degree. So far I’ve noticed the complete fanaticism with:

Cloth nappies
Baby wearing
Breastfeeding
Baby led weaning
Wooden/open ended toys
Certain brands of children’s clothes (Scandinavia/ethical brands)
Prams (having so many and getting new ones all the time)
Car seat safety (rear facing, some people I know seem to know every seat on the market!)

I can’t believe how obsessed some are with the above! Just to clarify I have an interest in most of the above and think there’s nothing wrong with any of the above! I just wonder, if you have older children, do you know anyone who was fanatical with any of the above (or were you yourself)? And if so what do they/you DO with themselves now those things aren’t important?! It just seems an all encompassing part of some of my friends/acquaintances lives I can’t imagine what they will do when our children get older!!

Especially wonder about the “cloth bumming” mums when their children toilet train!!!

Also to add, whether you BF or FF, cloth nappy or disposable, those stages pass and you continue to be a busy parent in other ways (as a mum of a 5 and 10 year old, I don't feel like my life is empty or lacking in things to do now that I'm not changing nappies or feeding a baby).

The one that always makes me laugh are the Frugi obsessed that collect the tags so they can make games of matching pairs with them

Wow, haven't come across that gem before!!

Also, for full closure, I too do a lot of the things on OP's original list, as probably most on this thread and MN do. Nothing wrong with that :)

Especially wonder about the “cloth bumming” mums when their children toilet train!!!

Yes. I must say that these thoughts occurred to me the other day. We use cloth nappies, mainly because my dd gets through a lot of nappies and I do not have the space in my black bins.

There are some people who end up having 6 children because they are addicted to the whole cloth obsession though!. Particularly those who run YouTube channels about them and no doubt have become accustomed to earning money now from this aspect of their lives.

My 18 year old had cloth nappies and right now it's gone past the point of obsession with some people imo.

Often by people who use 'to boob' as a verb.

Haha, yes. “Boobing away” makes me itch.

Baby led weaning - was great fun

We must have very different views as to what constitutes 'fun'

Ditto @formerbabe

I think because they have waited longer to have children, they've really made a very conscious choice to have children and their peers are often childfree...they see having children as an exceptional thing to do...whereas many working class, younger mums see having children as inevitable and complete unremarkable. Therefore they overthink the whole thing and end up verging on fanatical over many aspects of parenting

OMG from the viewpoint of a childless peer I know so many of these women!

Sorry - back to lurking on here now 😂

It's almost as if people have different ways of parenting to you imagine finding this thread as a mother who believes they're doing the best for their child. They're breastfeeding, baby wearing, putting organic cotton clothes on their baby and they come here to find themselves being mocked and ridiculed by a bunch of women. You should be ashamed

Oh man, I had a friend like this when mine was tiny. She and her mates introduced me to the concept of baby led weaning, slings being a big deal, co sleeping. I'm cool with most of that stuff; I breast fed and slept with the baby in the bed sometimes, I had a Baby Bjorn carrier because we lived in an upstairs flat, but everything her group did had to have a name, and more to the point they considered anyone NOT being an attachment parent, spoon feeding, using a cot or a playpen as being well beyond the pale.
It was all such a big part of their identity. Some upthread said I think to some degree if you breastfeed you have to be “fanatical” about it - it takes over your entire life. Multiple wake ups, making sure you’re eating enough to fuel you both, getting clothes that allow it easily, making sure you are somewhere where you can sit down to do it etc
but I don't think that's true. It didn't take over my life at all! It's totally portable and you don't have to think about it or take stuff with you when you go out. I would just sit down and discreetly feed on a bench or in a café and no one really noticed.
In my experience the purity tribe go on to run nursery groups, sell homespun yarn, go off grid and run small holdings and take their kids on far flung treks and then write blogs about it.
Then their kids grow up, become marketing executives and live in Barrat houses. Ha!

I couldn't "baby led wean" because of the mess. I just really hate cleaning! I did give bits of non messy finger food tho. The purity tribe would just sit there while their entire kitchens got splattered with yogurt. I couldn't deal with that!

I think we'd have swerved BLW if we didn't have a dog. It does make an unholy mess, but DDog eats everything except cucumber And saves cleaning the floor. I did stick to pouches at first for lunches when out and about (which actually makes me not a BLWer, really) as I do think BLW can leave a god-awful mess in cafes and stuff, and I don't think it's fair to expect other people to clear it up. I'm always down on my hands and knees picking up food and scrubbing the floor with wipes after we've been somewhere!

I breastfed, sometimes co-sleep, have a sling (but also a bad back and a heavy baby so I don't use it that often), use reusable nappies and wipes, have an ERF car seat, and DD does have quite a few items from places like Frugi. Oh and we have a Grimm rainbow thingy and other wooden toys. But I'm also not a colossal bore so I don't go on about it. It's not really of interest to anyone except me (and some of it isn't that interesting to me either!).

I am one of those interested in car seats (though I'm no ERF purist) - I had another baby 10 years later to restart it all :o

I have decided I want to go into the industry which sort of legitamises all of the research I end up doing. In the meantime I try to help people untangle the web of regulations, marketing, branding, testing safety features and so on, because it is confusing.

But in general for most of them I have found for me when I start feeling too purist and annoyed about these kinds of things, it means I'm spending way too much time on the internet. So I suspect they go back to work when their DC are more like school age and then don't have as much time to spend online.

grandmasterstitch

I personally breastfed, babywore, and bought organic clothing. I am that mother, so no need to be so obtuse. As I said, I am not criticising any of these kind of things.

I’m wondering what those people that have a need of a checklist of all the different prints of a cloth nappy do with their time when those things are no longer relevant. (cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0256/6045/7063/files/UK-miosolo-print-collection-chart.pdf?20737)

I'm a cloth bumming babywearer. It does worry me when people get obsessive. Personally I plan to sell all my nappies and most of my slings, saving a couple for if my sister has kids or for when friends ask for sling help. I'm also helping at a sling library. Yes I'll miss the skills I've learnt with woven wraps but at the end of the day I've seen them as tools to make my life easier so when they no longer have a use I'll be happy to let them go.

I can't stand people who look down on mothers who do things a certain way. I notice there's nothing on OP's list of fanatical parenting other than "crunchy granola" type parenting. Where are "mothers who let their babies cry for as long as it takes for them to give up on me" or mothers who feed their babies and children on a strict schedule or mothers who insist on leaving their babies in childcare centers as soon as possible? They are just as "fanatical" but I don't see them on the list.

Personally, I enjoy learning new things and whether it's hobbies, work or raising children, it's fun to be all-in. Also, I find criticizing others for caring too much to be a tedious attitude best left behind with adolescence.

There are plenty of threads about cry-it-out, WoH/SAH arguments and so on.

I have tons of friends who did most of the above. They are all still very dedicated hands on mothers but differ widely later on. Some fell in the schooling is far too far too early and certainly were not obsessed with reading levels. It was all about walking to school/being out/healthy diet/camping/natural and creative play - kids tended to go to the local comp at secondary level and do well there. There are also some that were tiger mums obsessing about reading levels/eleven plus etc. You really cannot generalise. Some were helicopter/bulldozer parents later on and others totally into bringing up and independent child. My point being that some of these mums would have been true earth mums/hippie types and others not. Definitely a lot were on the PTA and contribute a lot to the whole community which is lovely. Much better than some of the 4 by 4 mums who order a costume on Amazon for every dress up day at primary school and let their kids run riot on screens with no parent controls and no idea what they are doing on there later.

Ordering a costume from Amazon is bad is it? Are we supposed to sew something yoonique even if we can’t sew and hate sewing? God forbid we send our children in some cliched mass produced costume instead of showing off with something homemade and obscure (I know a mum who prides herself on this year after year )

I’m talking about World Book Day of course.

I have a Harry Potter gown in transit from Asda as we speak.

I was a cloth bumming, breastfeeding, organic weaning kind of mum. Now they're McDonald's eating, screen obsessed teens. They get to be whoever they want to be.

I have a Harry Potter gown in transit from Asda as we speak

I've possibly gone one step worse - a superhero costume from ebay! I would have been happy/willing to make something original but the only fiction my child reads is comic books (judge away on that, too!), so...