What do the cloth addicts/babywearers/BLWers etc do when their kids get older???

[BabyofMine]

Having a small child I’m fascinated by how obsessed certain parents (ok, honestly it’s mostly mothers) get with certain aspects of parenting. To a crazy amazing degree. So far I’ve noticed the complete fanaticism with:

Cloth nappies
Baby wearing
Breastfeeding
Baby led weaning
Wooden/open ended toys
Certain brands of children’s clothes (Scandinavia/ethical brands)
Prams (having so many and getting new ones all the time)
Car seat safety (rear facing, some people I know seem to know every seat on the market!)

I can’t believe how obsessed some are with the above! Just to clarify I have an interest in most of the above and think there’s nothing wrong with any of the above! I just wonder, if you have older children, do you know anyone who was fanatical with any of the above (or were you yourself)? And if so what do they/you DO with themselves now those things aren’t important?! It just seems an all encompassing part of some of my friends/acquaintances lives I can’t imagine what they will do when our children get older!!

Especially wonder about the “cloth bumming” mums when their children toilet train!!!

I used cloth nappies exclusively but I wasn’t one of those oddballs for whom collecting prints is a hobby. I was very glad to potty train at 1 but find that most of the cloth nappy obsessives actively delay potty training (even though their child is clearly ready/asking to go) because they can’t bear to give up their “pretties” and post lots of crying emojis on FB about it. Baffling. I was delighted to be washing less.

This post is disgustingly judgmental and generalizing!!

Thread even...

My SIL is in the PTA and couldn't be more opposite than the OP's list

There are some really earnest, judgemental parents around me. I'm quite relaxed I think, I was taught everything in moderation and it's how I want to raise my kids but there were lots of looks of horror when I let my 13m old have some birthday cake at a party the other weekend.... As parents were desperately trying to shovel chia seeds soaked in oat milk into their little ones - unsuccessfully.

Otherwise what else do you do on mat leave I guess. With DS1 I wrote 40,000 words of a novel - then he started crawling and I haven't finished it.
I have DS2 now and am planning driving lessons and have to do an MSc dissertation that I had to suspend due to hyperemesis.

My friend with older DC has started doing a lot of gym sessions.

I expect those people had different obsessions before they had kids and they will have different obsessions when they no longer have (small) kids.

We marvel over our hugely intelligent, well adjusted, smart, independent, amazing kids with smug looks on our self satisfied faces while we sneer at everyone else who was less perfect than us,

Alternatively we just move on from the baby years like everyone else and get on with our lives.

I found it was the educated women who had previously had high powered careers who obsessed to stave off the unrelenting tedium of suddenly being a SAHM. For many they reverted back to normal, but for those who stayed as SAHMs they branched out into:
Oxford Tree Reading Levels
PTA political infighting
Rabid veganism
Conversational Mandarin for the under 10s
Junior Hatha yoga
Geo caching
Gifted & Talent forum
Having an 'Indigo' child
Organic Peruvian cotton childrens' clothes
Foraging

Argh, I do three of those (bf, sling, rear facing), I hope no-one thinks I'm obsessed!

I don't speak about any of them though unless directly asked! And I work full time in a v demanding career

Since you asked:

Cloth nappies - saved me a fortune, minimal faff, looked super cute and kept baby dry and comfy > Children have evolved to wear normal underwear

Baby wearing - couldn't fit pushchair on half the public transport here so was a lifesaver, plus both daughters wouldn't sleep lying down when tiny so slings were fab > both kids now walk around as normal

Breastfeeding - both kids now eat a varied diet, have fairly healthy immune systems, who knows if it has anything to do with the BF but they seemed to like it at the time

Baby led weaning > Both kids now eat a normal diet, fussy about some stuff, less so about other things. We are not vegan, nor especially lentil warriory.

Wooden toys - Kids never played with these in the first place, and I'm not a fan

Certain brands of children’s clothes > Nope, H&M all the way here

Prams > Nope, hardly needed as carried in sling and then used cheapo umbrella pushchair

Car seat safety > Nothing extraordinary, didn't do rear facing

I moved my obsession onto autism, once I found out both my children had it. I even studied it at degree level. Now I obsess that my autistic child is getting her needs met and EHCP adhered to at secondary school and about finding a suitable college place for my other autistic child who I ended up having to home educate 😊

@ToastyFingers

I was low-level pram obsessed and had about 8 over two children. Now I just miss my pram. I haven't developed any new interests though, I just liked prams

My children are 7 and 16 and I still miss the pram stage. I loved researching which pram was best. My prams were my pride and joy. I only had 1 for each child (and then a more practical stroller for each) but I still find myself eyeing up prams as they're pushed past me I think I've got issues.

OP - I did BF and BW and I understand your point, there was always one or 2 mum's who took it to levels of obsession. I coveted many slings but could only afford one.

I think other posters have hit the nail on the head, they tend to lose the obsession once they return to work or have another baby, or they focus on academic stuff.

Good luck to them, I say. I reserve my obsessions for crap TV series and the like!

Otherwise what else do you do on mat leave I guess
I retrained and did a doctorate....(mat leave then not working/studying/very part time work). I love the bones off my kids and did use a sling/cloth nappies and breast fed mostly because we were skint, see retraining but I'm just not the obsessive type.

Retrain as doulas
Set up a forest/beach school
Junior park run

I'm a little bit jealous of anyone with that much financial stability to live that life tbh

There is a spectrum being research and doing something, being passionate about that approach and then being a zealot who pisses people off. I don’t think I’ve ever become a zealot about anything baby-related but I have tipped into the passionate about ERF and baby-led weaning. There are definitely people online who fall into the extreme camp for all of the OPs categories. Some of the responses on the car seat forums as example are a bit ott.

Went back to work, did another degree, obsessed about other things that are slightly more profitable.

I did many of those things. Cloth nappies, breastfeeding, used a sling, BLW, only had one buggy and one stage appropriate car seat. Clothes were inherited or cheap. My choices were based on laziness, trying to be green and being frugal.

I only took a 9-month mat leave each time. So I work, volunteer, teach and obsess about Star Trek.

Star Trek is the only thing I've ever obsessed about and that's lasted 31 years now...

When all the fanatical stuff is gone , we read mumsnet for bonkers posts

Yep reading levels and competitive sports 🙈 can't lie...dc is simply better than most of their peers at most things too 😉🤣 would have been easier if they were more run if the mill! Dan talented children!

The obsession will carry on through each stage.....
Reading levels/how advanced their DC is/ tutoring for 11+/selective/grammar school places.
They will also be the parents at parties who stop their child eating or drinking anything which resembles party food and will brag about their home made sugar free birthday cake.

I sold cloth nappies. (not now.) I was bf peer/mother supporter. (Not anymore.)
I do use cloth instead of toilet paper. I do use washable sanpro. I now work 4 dys a wk and have a long term sick husband, I think I have enough to think about.

Hmmm I suppose I am one of these people with my 1.5 year old?

Cloth nappies- yes
Baby wearing- yes, still do
Breastfeeding - yes I EBF and am still going
Baby led weaning- yep
Wooden/open ended toys - can only afford second hand, but yes
Certain brands of children’s clothes (Scandinavia/ethical brands)- yep and often second hand as well
Prams (having so many and getting new ones all the time) - no cos I use a sling
Car seat safety (rear facing, some people I know seem to know every seat on the market!)- yes I got a good brand that goes up to highest weight

Not sure what's wrong with this! I treat parenting fairly seriously and so do a bit of research and make the choices that I think will suit us and benefit baby most.
I also have gone back to work as a doctor in a competitive specialty, so it's not like I have nothing else on my mind. I just enjoy being a mum and I genrally like to do things well, which those decisions seemed to be for us!
And yes we are vegetarian, "gentle parent" and co sleep, which I suppose fits a certain stereotype too! Judge away

I did cloth nappies with my 4..but not the new ones, mine had the Terry squares that needed folded and pinned (eldest is 22 and youngest is 3, I'm 41) I really don't get the calling pre made nappies cloth ones!
I breastfed, with the youngest I did try the feed yourself thing, I tried the carry baby thing...but after 9 months I enjoyed pushing a pram! Thankfully (I think) my kids are independent!!

I know where you are coming from though!!!