What do the cloth addicts/babywearers/BLWers etc do when their kids get older???

[BabyofMine]

Having a small child I’m fascinated by how obsessed certain parents (ok, honestly it’s mostly mothers) get with certain aspects of parenting. To a crazy amazing degree. So far I’ve noticed the complete fanaticism with:

Cloth nappies
Baby wearing
Breastfeeding
Baby led weaning
Wooden/open ended toys
Certain brands of children’s clothes (Scandinavia/ethical brands)
Prams (having so many and getting new ones all the time)
Car seat safety (rear facing, some people I know seem to know every seat on the market!)

I can’t believe how obsessed some are with the above! Just to clarify I have an interest in most of the above and think there’s nothing wrong with any of the above! I just wonder, if you have older children, do you know anyone who was fanatical with any of the above (or were you yourself)? And if so what do they/you DO with themselves now those things aren’t important?! It just seems an all encompassing part of some of my friends/acquaintances lives I can’t imagine what they will do when our children get older!!

Especially wonder about the “cloth bumming” mums when their children toilet train!!!

Who wants a home full of primary coloured plastic toys

Children

I know what you mean OP, but IMO there is a separation between the collectors of "things" (cloth nappies, scouring eBay for secondhand Scandi clothing, Aden & Anais muslins, changing bag after changing bag, many many prams) and those who are very into baby-led-weaning or Montessori for example.
There are obsessive gatherers all over the internet. A lot of mums who collected the prints in cloth nappies move onto things like buying the limited edition prints of Lucy & Yak dungarees. It'a feeling part of a community or club, no different from being a kid and wanting the right trainers. It breaks up the monotony of life. Especially on mat leave. I totally gave myself permission to spend frivolously when it was for my baby!

I was 21 when DP and I had our first child. We NEVER read any of the baby books. It was like our rule. I would often heat new mothers saying; "Oh but the baby books say..." they all contradict eachother.
I did however BF all 3 of my DC. I was very fascinated with the idea of it while pregnant with DC1. I loved every minute of it.
Child carrying was a no with first tho. I hated the carriers. However; I bought a sling for DC2 and again - loved it. It was sooo handy for feeding discreetly out and about.
Prams - we bought a Silver Cross bc it was on offer and it did DC 1 and 2. Broke before DC3 tho.
Cloth nappies - again I was fascinated with them for DC1 but found them sooo much effort and no matter how often I changed him - at one point every half hour - they leaked. They went straight in the loft around 3 months.

I think there are just so many options for new mothers now.
As for car chairs; surely everyone buys the best they can afford?! There are a lot of crap drivers on the roads!

Books! I’m not happy unless I’m obsessed with something. So now DD is older I rummage in second hand book shops seeking those wonderful Ladybird books I loved as a child.

Seriously, i did a lot of these things. My kids are now 18, 16 and 11. I didn't homeschool, I didn't run the PTA but did become a school governor, I didn't join the NCT. I potty trained early so I didn't have to wash any more nappies. Life moves on. Though your friend sounds completely OTT. Oh, and I had the same buggy for all 3 of them. Just - it died when DC3 was about 2 1/2 and that was that, he had to walk.

Obsess over 11+ preparation!

The mum I know who obsessed over these things is currently obsessing over reading levels and extra curricular activities. She is also still breastfeeding her 5 year old.

In addition she shares pictures of the new cloth sanitary pads she's bought and goes into detail over the new pattern. God help her poor girls when they start their periods. All of FB and Instagram will know 😬

@cowfacemonkey I love a good school run dress. Boden catalogue came in the other day and there were some nice school run dresses in there 😂😂. Miss those days now mine are grown up 😂

What on earth is "cloth bumming" so glad mine are in their 20s, pressure was a lot less

Never used slings. Was very into cloth nappies though when we moved from north London people here thought I was a right weirdo using them 😁 so I was discreet about it!

Loved my 5 years sahm. Set up my own business when youngest started school as couldn’t face being trapped in an office after the freedom years!

In my experience those who preached on about how much more benefcial it is long term to BTW get very peed off when their kids age 3 eat a very limited diet and those who weaned traditionally eat everything😂it's really funny tho.

Still reading and enjoying the responses!

And feeling really guilty. Maybe I am too judgemental. I don’t mean to be.

Also, what the hell is a school run dress?! God do I have to get dressed up for the school run??

Lipperfromchipper, I think most of us can list the things we’ve have done on the list but were you obsessed/fanatical about any of those things? That was the OP’s question.

@Fluffle55... at the time I was obsessed with breastfeeding yes I suppose! I wanted to do it for as long as possible. But the thing is it doesn’t matter what ppl obsess about...it’s their own prerogative tbh.

wooden toys are beautiful and will keep and hand on to others

As will quality plastic toys.

Plastic is in many ways a better material for children’s toys than wood. It’s more malleable, waterproof, washable, light, durable. I’ve nothing against wood, but the mindless bashing of quality plastic toys is so goddamn dumb.

Just don’t be sold by adverts and marketers

Oh the irony. Do you think wooden toys aren’t marketed or something.

Tell me you have one of those extortionately priced Grimm rainbow things. It would make my day.

Wow, I had no idea wooden toys meant you were a better parent.

Do you really think those parents with houses full of plastic toys are doing so for their own benefit?

what is this baby wearing shite? carrying a baby in a papoose? I think YABVVU to use this baby wearing term.

Just WAIT until you meet the head of the PTA

I do like a plastic toy - esp if it fits in the dishwasher

I bet a lot of the competitive mums move on to obsessing which North London private school to get their DC into, then GCSE, A level results, then getting them to Oxbridge. You can find them on the education boards here (but don't bother, it's not worth it...)

This thread is hilarious.

People not being able to differentiate between simply making some of the parenting choices that the OP listed and being an obsessive bore over them. This is MN- most of us will have done multiple things on that list!

I get you OP. Frugi released their new season the other week and a parenting group I’m on was full of women talking about spending hundreds on brightly coloured, over priced toddler clothes using their credit cards. Why? Just why?

IME these are the people who then go on to run the PTA, have a part time job in school or similar so term time only, volunteer with the local Age Concern or whatever is going locally, then become a parish Councillor before going back to work full time in a very high powered job whilst the kids are at secondary school/off to Uni, have wonderful holidays yet still afford to pay off the mortgage and then are looking to retire on a large final salary pension in the next 3 or 4 years.

Those that think all the people who get obsessive about some of the things I listed are rich, upper middle, have high powered jobs are either classist or have an extremely blinkered view of things.

I’m thoroughly working class and I’m talking about people I know in real life. I definitely don’t have high powered business women friends. I’m talking one of my friends on benefits, single mother, spending ALL her disposable income on Frugi. And more (credit cards). She is highly intelligent and university educated though, so maybe there is a link to getting obsessed with certain things fulfilling something in intelligent women. I just find it surprising some of you seem to, when you boil it down, equate intelligent with rich/having a good job.

Actually, I was just talking about people who are really obsessed with these things. But obviously a lot have taken my post to refer to people who are interested or do the things I mentioned. And the more I think about it the more cross I feel at the implication that only the middle classes and above can make careful parenting choices.

Don’t get the Frugi love it’s tooth achingly bright and pink. Just look like any other toddler clothes you find in supermarkets.

Co sleep til past 5, SAH, homeschool, DC do loads of “bespoke” activities during the week. Prioritise / facilitate DH’s work, including relocating if he wishes.