What do the cloth addicts/babywearers/BLWers etc do when their kids get older???

[BabyofMine]

Having a small child I’m fascinated by how obsessed certain parents (ok, honestly it’s mostly mothers) get with certain aspects of parenting. To a crazy amazing degree. So far I’ve noticed the complete fanaticism with:

Cloth nappies
Baby wearing
Breastfeeding
Baby led weaning
Wooden/open ended toys
Certain brands of children’s clothes (Scandinavia/ethical brands)
Prams (having so many and getting new ones all the time)
Car seat safety (rear facing, some people I know seem to know every seat on the market!)

I can’t believe how obsessed some are with the above! Just to clarify I have an interest in most of the above and think there’s nothing wrong with any of the above! I just wonder, if you have older children, do you know anyone who was fanatical with any of the above (or were you yourself)? And if so what do they/you DO with themselves now those things aren’t important?! It just seems an all encompassing part of some of my friends/acquaintances lives I can’t imagine what they will do when our children get older!!

Especially wonder about the “cloth bumming” mums when their children toilet train!!!

I did some of these things but I wouldn’t say I was fanatical.

Cloth nappies - nope
Baby wearing - went in the carrier occasionally being carried by daddy. I used the pushchair
Breastfeeding - did it until DD was 1.
Baby led weaning - I did it. DD wouldn’t let me spoon feed her. DD uses a fork and spoon now like most toddlers.
Wooden/open ended toys - I do like wooden floors toys but DD has plastic toys as well
Certain brands of children’s clothes (Scandinavia/ethical brands) - I do like Frugi but we have lots of supermarket clothes as well and other brands.
Prams (having so many and getting new ones all the time) - had a travel system but didn’t used the pram attachment after 6 months.
Car seat safety (rear facing, some people I know seem to know every seat on the market!) - DD does tear face in my car. When she is in other peoples car she forward faces but I don’t sweat about it.

Omg, I’m literally not criticising! I’m just fascinated and wonder where do you go from there when your children get older?? I have literally zero experience of school age and beyond.

Oh shit... I took up running... especially parkrun

I wasn't purist, I just found that many of the things that OP listed happened to work for me, but on fb groups I did encounter the very purist, evangelical types that OP means.

Other likely hobbies for the very zealous to move on to...
Becoming vegan
School places
Harassing teachers via dojo/ email
PTA
Homeschooling for the really devoted
Reading levels
Competitive sports, the more niche the better

In my experience, if I had my choice, then have more kids. If you do something well then keep doing it.

I would have at least 5 or 6.

And yes I home ed.

At empty nest stage, I have no idea for me personally. I hate working and would rather have kids.

I was a big cloth nappy fan. I'm not sure I'd go with 'obsessed' but I embraced them!

For a while after DC2 toilet trained I kept a small stash and went out as a volunteer to talk expectant/new mums through various aspects of cloth and lent them nappies to try.

Then I went back to uni to do a degree and, you know, got on with my life.

Still friends with all the lovely fellow cloth using mums I befriended though, they've been a fantastic support network through all aspects of my children's lives.

Actually these days I do buy cute hand made cloth sanitary pads for my teenager DD...

I think when you're in the baby mindset (ie - not working, on mat leave) you have nothing else to obsess over. Your baby is your world.

So when this stage is over I imagine people either go back to work or obsess over whatever life stage their child is at.

Its all about context I think.

They obsess about their child's diet, are into gender neutral role play and go bananas when little Tarquin and Ptolomey pick up sticks in the park and pretend that they are having a gun fight.

Kids are work anyway and home ed is time intensive.

My dd is now 10
I have researched the best brands of bicycles, scooters, boosters, shoes
Drag myself out of bed in the middle of the night to get her into the most in-demand holiday camps.
Designing and building elaborate Halloween costumes
This month I am making detailed vacation plans complete with custom luggage tags and outfits.

I also have an intense career, I am just compelled to engage in this small item obsessiveness in my free-time.

@NotALurker2 I was thinking the same thing.

OP you might be claiming that you're not criticising, but your post says otherwise.

They start a blog and an instagram account

I'm not sure people ever stop being "obsessed" with car seat safety, it's pretty important

I think it's mainly Mums wanting to be the best Mum and getting a bit carried away with themselves. Some Mums on here sound like they would kill you because you give your child a biscuit.

"grandmasterstitch

I'm not sure people ever stop being "obsessed" with car seat safety, it's pretty important"

It is important but it's not that important to have to have the most expensive car seat and run people down if they dont have it.

It's also the difference between allowing your very tall child (over the limit), to not sit on a booster, and making them sit on a booster.

I think they become MILs from hell.

I think to some degree if you breastfeed you have to be “fanatical” about it - it takes over your entire life. Multiple wake ups, making sure you’re eating enough to fuel you both, getting clothes that allow it easily, making sure you are somewhere where you can sit down to do it etc etc...I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing to be well read on it and talking about it a lot etc. For the 14 months I did it for it was on my mind a lot!! I think it’s wrong to lump it in with being fanatical about prams etc. Totally different thing feeding your baby to being materialistic.

I used slings, breastfed and used cloth nappies too. The rear-facing seats were a thing for me because both DC are very tall - we imported European rear-facing seats they used throughout their toddler years because it was statistically safer than moving them to front-facing ones just because they were huge.

Pushchairs weren't a big deal; we bought a nice one we liked the look of.

They're 14 and 9 now. I work full time, love my job and am glad I was able to afford to do the things I loved doing when they were young; DS2 didn't sleep unless he was attached to one of us, so slings were a godsend. Cloth nappies seemed like a sensible choice. Breastfeeding, again, just happened. BLW became a thing somewhere between DS1 and DS2 and suited DS2 far better than pureed peaches ever did.

I don't think it's an either/or thing with raising DC. You can be a cloth-nappy loving parent who holds down a job and gets on with life sometimes ending weekdays pissed on merlot. You don't have to home ed and weave your own yoghurt just because parts of your life were a bit earth mother-y. It feels like a bit of a dig however you dress it up.

I did most of the things on your list including the cloth nappies, I am still a SAHM with 17 and 14 year olds.

I didn't go on to join the PTA or become vegan or anything else listed as obsessions such as book levels or competitive sports. I just let my children be children, yes I may have made them an indoor tent, or done elf on the shelf to make their Christmas magical but I didn't make 50 tents, just the one. And with Pinterest, this stuff is so easy you don't even need to think of ideas.

I was involved in GCSE revision testing to help Ds1 with anything he needed. I haven't ever been that parent who contacts school about why their child isn't star of the week etc or why they didn't show their work in assembly.

I do volunteer in a primary school because I do love helping children learn and I get satisfaction from seeing a child's brain click when they get something. I wanted to be a teacher but I have a health condition that means I cannot work even part time.

All I see from the list is parents who care. Parents who are putting effort in with their children.

I would also put the car seat safety "obsession" into a different category. IME the mothers who base their whole identity around "baby wearing", cloth nappies etc also performatively refuse to own a car.

I also wouldn't necessarily put researching good brands of scooters etc in with the other stuff. Researching what you spend your money on, and rear facing your child for as long as possible, is just plain good sense. All the other fads are the complete opposite...

They realise, that in the grand scheme of things, they weren't actually that important.

They eventually get grandchildren and start all over again. 😂

Have more babies, become a stage school Mum, get super excited about homework...Not speaking from experience. Ok, totally speaking from experience

Oh, and all the PTAs!

In my limited experience:

Have more babies
Homeschool
Enrol their child in a LOT of extra curricular activities
Do a lot of family days out/holidays
Buy campervans
Generally micro manage their children's lives
Go vegan if they weren't already