AIBU to change DS' birthday when he's too young to decide?

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DS is 4 and his birthday is Boxing Day. Up until last year his birthday has always been fine, if inconvenient, but last year it really was rubbish that we couldn't do anything special on the day due to nothing being open. We're always at my DParents as we go there Christmas Day and it's not an option to not stay there Christmas Day night (two DCs who go to bed early).

This year just gone the weather was rubbish so we couldn't even go out for a nice walk or play in the garden. Because my DParents get to see him on his birthday it's only fair that we invite ILs too, who although I get along with them, they are a pain. I have a good relationship with my own DParents but they're a bit fussy/controlling on Christmas and his birthday (understandably so I guess as it's at their house!) so it's always been us/them awkwardly hosting ILs. Which was fine when DS was little but as he gets older he doesn't like too much fuss/formality, he only has baby DS so no other children to play with, so on his last birthday he really misbehaved due to being bored/having cabin fever/having had far too many presents and focus just on Christmas Day let alone more on his birthday. I felt sad for him as we couldn't make it special.

In comparison we've just celebrated other DS' first birthday, and although he's too young to care, we were able to do it exactly as we wanted - balloons, a banner and a pile of presents waiting for him when he woke up, and we all went to lunch and softplay. Simple, but lovely, and older DS would've loved that as his own birthday.

Would I be unreasonable to change DS' birthday to a couple of days later, say the 28th of December? We would be at home and all the Christmas presents would be unpacked/put away, everything would be open again so we could go to softplay/lunch/McDonald's/museum/whatever HE wants to do, and we would have control over the day with it being in our house so could make it special, no pressure on him.

When dc's go to school (who have a birthday not in holidays) then they end up celebrating on another day anyway.

I’d be getting round this by having a family (you, Dh and kids) day on birthdays - special dinner (doesn’t have to be out) and a day out to the zoo/cinema/somewhere else that is open

Celebrate birthdays with friends and family the previous or following weekend. Party with friends - invite the grandparents, but the party is about the child so it’s doing what he wants to do and they come along to see him enjoy his birthday if they wish

My nephew is born on Xmas day. Last year we were all at my parents house fair Christmas. In the morning he opened birthday present and we had breakfast. Then we played some board games together and went out to play Pokemon go in the forest. He had picked the cake and we watched Paddington. He said that it was the best day of the year.

I don't agree with pretending to have birthday another year. You can easily on boxing day let him choose the desert and then do his chosen activity on 28th. It will be just as special. If you make that the tradition it will become normal.

You seem very hung up on doing something particular on his actual birthday when actually loads of people don’t because of school/work/holidays/weather etc. You mark his birthday with cake and presents, yes, and then do an activity or party or whatever whenever suits you. You keep mentioning that nothing is open on Boxing Day and the weather is crap - but you’d be at your parents for the day anyway so just do whatever you’d usually do (with cake and presents). I don’t get the angst.

Look at the positive, he will always have his birthday off school. All my kids go to school on their birthdays unless it falls on a weekend. They rush opening presents before school then have homework to do after school. We have cake but the main celebration is on the closest weekend. Your kid has his whole childhood to spend his birthdays athe home, not many kids have that. My DS spent his last birthday sitting exams. Look on the positive.

You can celebrate his birthday on whatever day you see fit, but he was born on Boxing day you can not change that. You don't have to go to your parents house for Christmas, just say no, it is getting too much trouble now that DS is older.

My eldest (8) son's birthday is Christmas Eve, so even having a family birthday party is difficult. We have presents/cake etc on the day with whoever can make it, then in the summer we have a bigger family "do". The couple of occasions that we have done class birthday party, the party has been at the beginning of December.

Don't try to change the day! My eldest was born Christmas day, and then ten years later, so was one of his sisters! lol.
Yes its hard because if we did want a party on the day, none of his mates are going to come, so, they chose a day in the summer that they can have as their own 'party day'. My eldest is 22 now, and STILL has his party day 20th July lol, and I can see my daughter going the same way!
But no, you can't just choose a different birthday for them...doesn't work like that lol x

Let him have two! A nice day with nice food, just your little family. Then have an official celebration the following week!

This is absolutely crackers.

The 28th isn't any better. DD's birthday is the 28th and for her 3rd birthday we done a soft play party and invited all of her nursery friends and family friends, so around 25 people in all, and only 4 turned up. 🤷‍♀️ they'd forgotten, and had been busy seeing their family's and Christmas celebrations. Honestly just leave it at the 26th, have a quiet day, do presents in the afternoon or something, cake and do some messy play like painting or something then go and do something fun at the weekend?

I have twins whose birthday is Boxing Day. Not ideal. I always insist we are at home on the actual day and we often host family (one on Xmas day and other on their birthday). One year we all went out to lunch and to a panto. This year they were happy being at home. But I insist on making it about their birthday. Always have cake (two). Then on the 27th they get to choose what they want to do. Eg one wanted to go climbing, another pottery. Then we celebrate with friends in January which is when they were due. I don't deny I find it exhausting. Having to put up birthday balloons and get presents all sorted on Xmas day evening isn't great. They're 9 now so slowly getting used to it!

Just have a party with his friends on a different day. Everyone does it cos. parties are always at the weekend so often not on the actual day. So no probs. sorted.

Just take him out on a different day! You can't alter his birthday to a day that suits but you can do anything you like on any other day. That's what lots of people do eg birthday parties are generally over a weekend because it's way too much to do on a school day. I think you're making this way bigger than it needs to be.

How about going as a big family group to a pub that has a soft play inside, like many of the Brewers Fayre ones, on Boxing Day? Sounds like it would take the pressure off a bit, kids could burn off some energy for a couple of hours there regardless of the weather.

Then you could have a separate party and celebration on a different day too?

My DS has his birthday on NYE, any party had always been in the summer, he had always been fine with it, as it's like having 2 birthdays.

Ooh and yes to the Pp above who suggested panto on his birthday. We’ve done this for our DD on her Christmas season birthday for the last few years and she always gets a shout out and usually the whole cast and audience sing happy birthday, makes it super special!

Two examples - one friend changed her bday as an adult after hating boxing day .

a relative;s child born on boxing day celebrates his saints day in june instead.
I think its fine to move it as long as they get yjeir day.

"it would put a dampener on Christmas Day if we came home the same night (a fun part of Christmas Day is us adults having games, drinks etc when the kids are in bed!)

DH was adamant he doesn't want to give up on Christmas at my parents yet (they are fussy and controlling, as retired people often are, but very generous, kind and go all out at Christmas for us and the DCs.)"

Sounds like this is all about the convenience of the adults, you included, rather than for your son to be honest.

I knew someone who had this issue so had an unbirthday party in the summer.

My DS is a Christmas Day baby, we celebrate his birthday on the day in the afternoon but the weekend before he has a birthday weekend so we take him bowling or ice skating on the Saturday then to a pantomime & a meal on the Sunday, he actually said today he loves being a Christmas baby because he gets all his presents in one go x

Have a cake and presents on the day, then a birthday treat on a day when things are open, or a little party on a later date. DD born on day everything is shut. This has always worked and she loves getting two cakes and two lots of presents!

You can’t change reality.

You can treat DS any day and for any reason you choose. Doesn’t need to be a pseudo birthday.

Why do you have to go somewhere? You can't change his birthday. Just have his party on a different day.

My birthday is early January and its rubbish, no one has any money due to Xmas, its cold miserable and I haven't enjoyed a birthday since I can remember. I wish I had celebrated mine say mid june. Also theres nothing to look forward too for the rest of the year as party time is all over at once.