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AIBU to change DS' birthday when he's too young to decide?

309 replies

tempnamechange98765 · 25/02/2020 13:14

DS is 4 and his birthday is Boxing Day. Up until last year his birthday has always been fine, if inconvenient, but last year it really was rubbish that we couldn't do anything special on the day due to nothing being open. We're always at my DParents as we go there Christmas Day and it's not an option to not stay there Christmas Day night (two DCs who go to bed early).

This year just gone the weather was rubbish so we couldn't even go out for a nice walk or play in the garden. Because my DParents get to see him on his birthday it's only fair that we invite ILs too, who although I get along with them, they are a pain. I have a good relationship with my own DParents but they're a bit fussy/controlling on Christmas and his birthday (understandably so I guess as it's at their house!) so it's always been us/them awkwardly hosting ILs. Which was fine when DS was little but as he gets older he doesn't like too much fuss/formality, he only has baby DS so no other children to play with, so on his last birthday he really misbehaved due to being bored/having cabin fever/having had far too many presents and focus just on Christmas Day let alone more on his birthday. I felt sad for him as we couldn't make it special.

In comparison we've just celebrated other DS' first birthday, and although he's too young to care, we were able to do it exactly as we wanted - balloons, a banner and a pile of presents waiting for him when he woke up, and we all went to lunch and softplay. Simple, but lovely, and older DS would've loved that as his own birthday.

Would I be unreasonable to change DS' birthday to a couple of days later, say the 28th of December? We would be at home and all the Christmas presents would be unpacked/put away, everything would be open again so we could go to softplay/lunch/McDonald's/museum/whatever HE wants to do, and we would have control over the day with it being in our house so could make it special, no pressure on him.

OP posts:
Nearly47 · 27/02/2020 19:11

There are advantages to have a birthday on a holiday. For one when you are an adult you don't have to work. You can always celebrate a week after but don't change it because it gets very confusing. I have a friend who was born in April but for some mistake her birth certificate is in July and as a result people are never sure which is her real birthday...

Devora13 · 28/02/2020 22:34

December 28th isn't a lot better-take it from one who knows 😏
By the way, as I discovered when in Spain, it is Dia de los Inocentes (equivalent to April Fool's Day).
Everyone is too stuffed to eat out, too partied out to party, and on special birthdays it has snowed and people haven't felt safe to turn out.
Next biggie I'm booking a cruise.

Magicmama92 · 01/03/2020 14:12

You cant just change a childs birthday. You can still have a lovely day with presents and a cake. Then have a party a few days later. Dont confuse your child by changing the day.

sidesplittinglol · 05/03/2020 07:03

The Mirror has hold of this thread by the way

coconuttelegraph · 05/03/2020 07:07

The Mirror has hold of this thread by the way

They're on the ball then, it's only taken them over a week Grin

sidesplittinglol · 05/03/2020 08:24

That was my thought too! DM obviously missed out on it first

sashh · 05/03/2020 09:39

I'd go for a half birthday celebration, so June/July. Moving it a couple of days you are never going to get good weather.

DillyDilly · 05/03/2020 09:49

Haven’t read the last 13 pages, but his Birthday is on the 26th and that is it. Regardless of where he is that day, you can still make a fuss - you can do the balloon thing whatever room he sleeps in- have them there when he wakes up. Have a party with his school friends mid January. Set a tradition where his gifts from you are given on the first day of Easter or summer holidays. After the business of Christmas Day, he might enjoy a day of quietness on the 26th and you could set another tradition where you go out for birthday lunch on one of the following days.

Birthdays don’t have to be a day of jam packed fun anyway and will evolve as your child gets older

tempnamechange98765 · 05/03/2020 12:33

Is it sidesplittinglol?! FGS. Do you have a link?

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