AIBU to change DS' birthday when he's too young to decide?

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DS is 4 and his birthday is Boxing Day. Up until last year his birthday has always been fine, if inconvenient, but last year it really was rubbish that we couldn't do anything special on the day due to nothing being open. We're always at my DParents as we go there Christmas Day and it's not an option to not stay there Christmas Day night (two DCs who go to bed early).

This year just gone the weather was rubbish so we couldn't even go out for a nice walk or play in the garden. Because my DParents get to see him on his birthday it's only fair that we invite ILs too, who although I get along with them, they are a pain. I have a good relationship with my own DParents but they're a bit fussy/controlling on Christmas and his birthday (understandably so I guess as it's at their house!) so it's always been us/them awkwardly hosting ILs. Which was fine when DS was little but as he gets older he doesn't like too much fuss/formality, he only has baby DS so no other children to play with, so on his last birthday he really misbehaved due to being bored/having cabin fever/having had far too many presents and focus just on Christmas Day let alone more on his birthday. I felt sad for him as we couldn't make it special.

In comparison we've just celebrated other DS' first birthday, and although he's too young to care, we were able to do it exactly as we wanted - balloons, a banner and a pile of presents waiting for him when he woke up, and we all went to lunch and softplay. Simple, but lovely, and older DS would've loved that as his own birthday.

Would I be unreasonable to change DS' birthday to a couple of days later, say the 28th of December? We would be at home and all the Christmas presents would be unpacked/put away, everything would be open again so we could go to softplay/lunch/McDonald's/museum/whatever HE wants to do, and we would have control over the day with it being in our house so could make it special, no pressure on him.

'Grandparents dont have automatic rights to see grandkids on their birthdays' - jeez this is all its about poor kid

Try earlier instead! Other kids I know who are after Xmas say its depressing. With school lots,of kids with similar birthdays have parties like 2 weeks before. Start the tradition now or u will soon pick up on what other ppl do when u start school.

@mylifestory no not earlier!!! I’m middle of December and DS is 22nd, December is full of Christmas trips and stuff so everyone is too busy to celebrate birthdays!!

Yup my brother is the 22nd of December and people tend to forget his birthday.

Glad to see the update as I was finding it all rather bizarre that you were suggesting "pretending" that his birthday was on a different day. I'm a Dec 27th Birthday, but I was like the queen and had my actual birthday with gifts/cards on the 27th and then a party a week later with more gifts and cards. Now I'm older, I celebrate my birthday on the 26th, as no-one wants to go out on the 27th, they're all dying from Xmas/Boxing Day celebrations and gearing up to NYE. It is what it is, yes it's a crap day now, but he will love it when he's older I'm sure.

Haven’t read the thread so apologies if it’s already been said...

My nephew was born on Christmas Day. Obviously nobody would want to attend a birthday party on the day (except family). My sister and BIL always celebrated DN’s birthday on 25th June.

Similarly my friends birthday was Christmas Eve. She had her birthday party on 24th June all through childhood. She likened herself to the Queen - having 2 birthdays. She was happy 😊

OP, Ignore everybody on here who doesn’t have a December birthday. Both mine do and it is SHIT in every way. Birthdays aren’t meant to be crap, and Boxing Day is the crappest of all crap. Start the tradition this year that he will have a lovely birthday party/outing on 26th June. This is a brilliant time to have presents too as half way thru year (great time for outdoor presents like trampolines, bikes etc). I so wish we had done this with both of mine but left it too late to establish the family tradition (also neither are within a week of Xmas, so less urgent than your situation)
Start planning June now OP, trust me!

It's perfectly fine and normal to celebrate it at a suitable date. I've done that loads of times with my dc, just because we need it on a specific day, would never cross my mind that aM being unreasonable

@brieandchilli My daughter is the 19th so been there done that. Know plenty of kids before and after Xmas from nct. All say after is depressing. If u plan yr kids bday party for a couple of weeks before while they are still at school parents will be glad of a break. In the hols no one will come to a party!

2 of my daughters close friends have Xmas day birthdays. One has a half birthday party on he 25th June and has a party on this date, the other gets to pick a day in the boring bit between xmas and new year and have a family party then, he has a class party the first weekend back after Christmas.

Presuming he starts school in September most of his peers wont do anything special on their birthday as they'll be in school.

When you think you’ve seen it all - one of the best examples of a first world problem I’ve ever seen.

You’ve realised that your Christmasses haven’t changed to be fun for your dc and that you’ve prioritised parents and in-laws wishes over those of your dc. That’s a big step forward.

Falling into patterns that always happen at Christmas is hard to reset. How about booking a holiday to be away over Christmas and blow all previous traditions out of the window then start afresh in 2021?

I think it's a fab Idea, but compromise it. A card and birthday cake and small present on his birthday, but follow it up a week later or whenever with a birthday celebration day. Main presents, whatever activity ge wants. It will become routine if you stick to the date, and he'll appreciate it.

other kids dont get to do things on their birthday school etc-i hated going to school on my birthday but tough

he'll be used to it in a few years

I think its a great idea to start a tradition now. Cards and maybe a small gift on his birthday but family celebration 2 weeks later. Start it now and you can get away with anything, Christmas is so overwhelming for kids without a birthday celebration on top.

as it was raining heavily all day. So we couldn't leave the house! well you could have left the house! He'd probably have loved a good run around in the puddles.

As a December baby, I have chosen to ditch the month and keep the date and move it to another month I like.

No one has any money, partied out with work parties and it’s just a bit shit that Christmas is the overarching thing about the whole month. As an adult December birthdays still suck! I would be tempted to change the month completely.

I know of an grandad who always celebrate a date in February, his birthday was January...... he didn’t find out until over 70 when he got his first passport.

My DDs' birthday is 23rd December. We celebrate her birthday with presents, birthday cake and a family trip to the pantomime. We have a party and/or activities for her and her friends on the Saturday nearest 23rd June, when people are more interested in a birthday party than near Christmas, when there is a wider range of activities available, and the weather is normally better. She is 13 now and we have been doing this since she was a baby. It works really well.

glad that you won’t be changing the actual date of his birthday, that’s buzzard. celebrating it on another date is perfectly fine, ds very rarely has parties on his actual birthday

We celebrate DH's birthday in summer... his real birthday is over Christmas (when I'm already spent up, & have run out of present ideas, & he's fed up of the festivities). Have done this for years.

DSs birthday is early December so the celebration bit isn't an issue but an influx of gifts twice in a month would be. We just said to family that it might be a bit overwhelming and too much at once lots have a present for one and a voucher or money for the other, it means when the weather warms up we can treat him in the summer with his birthday/Christmas money to garden toys, bikes etc that are rubbish to receive in the depths of winter.

You say nothing is open on Boxing Day,but I think u will find most pantos are on that day. Now he is older you could always start a tradition of going to a panto every year. Parents and in laws can choose whether to go too,

My dd is 21st dec so understand wheee you’re coming from. But, I will say that those two days really won’t do anything to help with overwhelmed him. This year will be dd’s first year in school. We’re planning on celebrating and giving presents etc on 25th June then literally a token gift on her birthday

I have a Christmas Eve baby, She has her party the week before, everyone always comes and parents are super happy because it means they can run around and do all that last bits of shopping. We still celebrate on the actual day with the presents and balloons and cake.

My birthday is on Christmas Day and I thought it was amazing as a child. Whole family there, more gifts than everyone else, a big fuss made over me...what’s not to love. I had my “friend party” anywhere from November to January which also was no problem. I would just learn to love it, it’s his birthdate and you can’t (literally can’t) change that.