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Original poster

What are the most stupid injuries you’ve had?

265 replies

UnicornRiders · 25/02/2020 00:32

I know this isn’t the right place, but let’s try to create some humour on AIBU for once Grin

My most stupid injuries are,

I slept funny on my arm which resulted in a dead arm, I then slapped myself across the face, leaving a bruise

Was moving a rock in my garden, dropped it on my foot and broke a toe

Knocked myself out chasing my friend up a slide - I was 14 Grin

OP posts:
motortroll · 28/02/2020 23:39

Also once slipped on a curb and fell flat over soon after having dd. I was bf and the boob pain was unreal! Poor guy who came to help me, I was just going "oh my boobs!!!" Lol

motortroll · 28/02/2020 23:40

@CallmeAngelina I burnt my thigh ironing in just my knickers. I gave up ironing after that!

Also cut the same thigh on a rusty nail while swinging round the washing like as a kid lol

PresidentBartlett · 28/02/2020 23:49

Dislocated my jaw by yawning when I was 10. Most painful thing ever. Plus it was only the one side so had a weird lopsided pumpkin face until the swelling went down.

Blackhawkdown2020 · 28/02/2020 23:50

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

kazza446 · 29/02/2020 00:14

I tripped over my rabbits enclosure and landed flat on my face. I Ended up with 2 black eyes, stitches across the bridge of my nose and cheek as well as a chipped tooth. I sincerely looked like Id been in a fight. Wouldn’t mind but I was due in court as a witness for work. My boss grounded me.. I didn’t quite look the reputable professional I intended to be!!!

FanSpamTastic · 29/02/2020 00:27

I ripped a muscle in my neck whilst washing my hair under the shower.

Pumpkinandpeas · 29/02/2020 00:34

Tried to catch a falling cup from the wall cupboards in the kitchen. The open cupboard door got in the way and I managed to smack myself in the face with the cupboard door and the cup broke despite my efforts of trying to catch it.

When I was younger and just going through puberty I wanted to shave my legs. Found a razor in the bathroom that had rust on the blade. 12 year old me "wiped" it off with my thumb. Yup sliced the skin right off, lots of blood and pain later I never did it again in a hurry ( also thankful I didn't get an infection).

Goldengroveunleaving · 29/02/2020 01:04

Elderly cat tried to jump on to my bed while I was asleep, wasn't quite strong enough and tried to gain a purchase with his claws in my cheek. I didn't enjoy that.

Other cat, 6kg+, dive-bombed my head by jumping from the top of the wardrobe, once again while I was asleep. I can't recommend it as a gentle wake-up method.

My normal walking speed is quite fast and while walking down the street (sober, on way to work) I managed to get first one foot, then the other, caught in a large circular loop of plastic without breaking stride. Landed in the gutter with some force, without even time to break my fall with my hands. Fortunately nothing worse than grazed bloody knees (like a 6-year-old) and laddered tights along with bruised ribs.

duvetneeded · 29/02/2020 02:16

When i was about 20, I was carrying a piping hot bowl of soup to the other room for my dad. There's a two step level change between rooms/hallway. I tripped on the step, and fell. Soup everywhere! Up and down the walls/skirting boards, all over my brand new expensive leggings, it just went everywhere! But to make things worse, the bowl broke and a large chunk of it went in to my wrist!

My dad was concerned about the walls being covered in soup!! Grin and there's me, mangled on the floor, pissing blood from my wrist, covered in boiling hot soup, leggings ruined and non-salvageable Sad

It's a very funny memory to be honest! My dads initial reaction was priceless (he didn't realize I was cut).

To this day, I have a nasty scar across my wrist, that I can't help but think people who see it might think it was self inflicted!

user1465383488 · 29/02/2020 02:27

Walking two of my kids across flat ground to their holiday club. Lost my footing ,heard a snap. Broken ankle in two places ,two casts,a boot,two lots of surgery and no driving for over ten months 😐With six kids over holidays,
And a year later I’m still on crutches 🤨

idontusuallypanic · 29/02/2020 02:34

I got a horrendous Lisfranc tear from playing badminton in flip flops on wet grass.

Cost me over £5000 and I was non weight bearing in a boot for months. Angry

cricketmum84 · 29/02/2020 03:19

I gave myself a black eye with my straighteners. Was reaching for them from a high shelf (cheers DH!!!) and the plug fell of the shelf hitting me straight in the eye!

DH was trimming down a bath panel with a Stanley knife and decided to get a better grip by leaning it on his leg.... 6 stitches.

ColourMyDreams · 29/02/2020 03:24

Slipped on a stray sock on the tiled floor in a hotel room and tore the ligament in my knee.

Limpshade · 29/02/2020 04:21

I was walking through a marketplace at lunchtime with a colleague and slipped on a banana skin. Had no idea this was something that was possible outside of a cartoon and I really did go flying backwards. The colleague managed to grab me before my head hit the deck so I only had a bit of bruising to my back and sides. And my pride Grin

penguingorl · 29/02/2020 04:32

@motortroll but how was the squirrel?!

SongBirdsKeepSinging · 29/02/2020 04:40

I stepped over the loft hatch which I'd done hundreds of times, but I didn't step quite far enough and had already started to lift my other foot, so I fell through the hatch and bounced down the ladder. Somehow managed only to get a massive bruise on my thigh.

im2sexy4unow · 29/02/2020 07:50

Tried to see how episiotomy was healing and slipped in the bath (nasty bruise). Riding after my sons on a fold up bike; bike folded and I broke my collar bone; trapped thumb in folding washing line and was stuck in the garden for an hour.

LakieLady · 29/02/2020 08:28

DP briefly had a very fast, very loud, very flash, Kawasaki sports bike. We went for a whizz when he first got it and did around 100 miles on country lanes and A roads before stopping at a cafe used as a bit of a meet-up place by bikers.

I felt so cool as we pulled in to the forecourt full of bikers, with my leathers and all-black (borrowed) helmet, on this really flash bike. Until I got off.

My leg had gone to sleep and just gave way beneath me as soon as I tried to put weight on it, and I landed on my arse like a sack of shit dropped from a first floor window. I was mortified, and everyone watching laughed.

That wasn't the worst though. I'd pulled a muscle in my back and when we went to leave, I was in bloody agony and there was no way I could lift my leg to get back on the bike.

Three old beardie bikers came over and offered to help. They just lifted me off the ground and onto the seat of the bike (I might have screamed a bit in the process), and as they waved us off, they wished DP luck in getting me home.

A couple of weeks later, DP swapped that bike for a much more sedate BMW and a Honda Benly. He's never had another sports bike in the 30+ years since.

missmouse101 · 29/02/2020 08:36

2 large burns on my leg from rubber edge of unprotected hot water bottle whilst I was asleep.

Lalalalalalalalaland · 29/02/2020 08:40

I got my fi ger stuck in a hot water bottle after i had stuck it in to check whether it was still warm... it had bern there for 2 days and i was old enough to know better!

A&E was quiet that night and had a team of about 20 different people trying to figure out how to choo through the rubber and metal without cutting my finger. In the end a surgeon came and cut it free though i still have a scar as he did cut me!

I had a skin graft done on my ear drum as a teenager, a few weeks later i got in a row with my sister and she threw a can of spray starch at we, which hit me right on my bad ear and i ended up with a polyp in my esr and had to have further surgery.

Honeyned · 29/02/2020 10:08

This is my favourite thread ever! Grin

Ellmau · 29/02/2020 12:04

Cut foot quite badly treading on a glass I knocked over, having left it on the floor.

DDad: second degree burns cleaning out the rabbit hutch with paraffin.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 29/02/2020 12:21

Outing but.... hot glue gunned my hand to my face and my school tie during my final A Level Tech and Design exam. Had to be unglued by the teacher with solvents.

GetawayfromthatWelshtart · 29/02/2020 12:25

oh thought of another one.

Was about 10 and having an argument with my younger brother in the hall. Went to kick him, he moved and I hit my mums big fancy vase. Managed to slice my foot really badly, ended up in A&E and got butterfly stitches and huge arse bandage.

Wouldn't have been that bad but was morning of my sisters wedding and I had to hobble up aisle as bridesmaid in a horrible flouncy peach dress with only one shoe on.

Redcrayons · 29/02/2020 12:54

The glue story just reminded me of the time I super glued the sole of my converse to my hand. I was trying to reattach the sole and when I pressed it together with the palm of my hand, the glue squeezed out of the sides onto to my hand and stuck tight.

My Now exH's solution was to just rip it off if one swift move. It hurt a lot.

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