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Original poster

What are the most stupid injuries you’ve had?

265 replies

UnicornRiders · 25/02/2020 00:32

I know this isn’t the right place, but let’s try to create some humour on AIBU for once Grin

My most stupid injuries are,

I slept funny on my arm which resulted in a dead arm, I then slapped myself across the face, leaving a bruise

Was moving a rock in my garden, dropped it on my foot and broke a toe

Knocked myself out chasing my friend up a slide - I was 14 Grin

OP posts:
Gibble1 · 27/02/2020 11:34

I broke my arm in a museum. Turned around without realising how close I was to the plinth and tripped on it but then landed on the other side with arm trapped under me.

Last year I damaged the ligaments in my wrist making my bed. Went to push mattress back in by myself as Ds was supposed to be helping me and had done his usual and just buggered off, my wrist bent right back on itself and cracked. The next day I went to the emergency department and had to have a week off work.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 27/02/2020 11:42

Took a run up to the muck heap with a full barrow of horse muck. Tripped, dived up and over landing on the top of my head on the meatl edge of the barrow, which them tipped the muck all over me. Two black eyes , a loose tooth and a dint in the top of my head that is still here 5 years later. Was also a bit stupid and dazed for a few days

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 27/02/2020 11:42

metal edge

Songofsixpence · 27/02/2020 11:46

Broke my little finger by smacking my daughter’s pony in the face

Total accident - I hadn’t noticed she’d crept up behind me and I was trying to untangle a haynet, yanked it hard, it came free suddenly and I smacked her in the gob. They have very hard heads

She also gave me a black eye with a swede

LuckyBug89 · 27/02/2020 13:47

I have loads but the 2 that stick out the most to me are:

Walking down the path, slipped off the kerb and landed completely on my knee because I was so shocked I never had time to put my hands out to break my fall - tore the ligaments in my ankle and bruised my knee, thankfully nothing major but I couldn't weight near for nearly a week and it was swollen double it's normal size. I was also wearing sturdy boots when that happened.

On a night out wearing very pretty (but ridiculously) high heels. Stood still, ankle gave way. Broke my ankle. I was so embarrassed I didn't even go to the hospital until the following afternoon.

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 27/02/2020 15:00

I've fallen asleep on the bed with my legs crossed before, like the way you used to sit on the floor at school. Bad knee had locked into position and took me ages to straighten it, I couldn't put weight on it for some time.

I've also had a neck injury from hitting my head on the wall behind the headboard during a particularly energetic evening with DH Wink

'Popped' my neck when checking over my shoulder in the car before moving off too, like that horrible feeling that something has just snapped in your neck........... eeek

tillytoodles1 · 27/02/2020 15:42

I missed the step leaving a Mexican restaurant and grabbed hold of the nearest thing to stop myself from going flat on my face. It was a huge cactus and my hand was bleeding in about 6/7 places. They gave me some plasters, but being a food place they only had blue ones. My hand looked like it belonged to a smurf.

pinkdressinggown · 27/02/2020 16:09

I slammed my bum in the door by accident when I was drunk - ended up with a flag shaped bruise on my arse...

MsTSwift · 27/02/2020 16:11

Sat on a chlorine tablet in my hot tub and burned my arse. Perfect circle looked like I had been involved in some weird occult thing

SingingSands · 27/02/2020 16:22

I currently have a numb thumb on my right hand. Nerve damage caused by gripping my colouring pencil too tightly whilst attempting to colour in my "colouring for grown ups" style book. It was supposed to be meditative.

That is the most middle class injury possible, right?! Grin

EerieSilence · 27/02/2020 17:48
  1. Used to fall on my hands as a child and my childhood memories are full of my Mum with a needle in her hand, prodding at the gravel stuck in palms of my hands.
  2. Sliced through my finger and the knife went on into my knuckle. We had a pharmacy just underneath my parents' apartment and I walked in there with my hand bleeding like a slaughtered pig asking for a plaster. They took me inside and bandaged the hand properly.
  3. Kicked my foot against the edge of my Mum's sewing machine and broke my pinkie. It was so swollen I couldn't do anything but wear wide sneakers and suffer but I refused to have it treated because it was three weeks to our debs and I didn't want to come there in a cast. Fortunately, the swelling went down considerably by then but it still hurts, 30 years later.
  4. Went for a run on a beach. "Oh, what a wonderful sailing ship!". Well, I went sailing too, landed on a sharp stone and broke my kneecap.
  5. Tried to show my brother how high I can fly in a garden swing. Lost balance, flew out, did a little salto mortale, broke my clavicle.
  6. Fell down a flight of stairs two weeks before giving birth and very badly snapped ligaments in my ankle. Spent two weeks on a sofa doing nothing. Was the one time when I had to be brought to hospital with blue lights as I was going into shock with pain. They thought my husband did it but I told them that I am pretty self-sufficient when it comes to causing myself maximum damage with minimum effort.
  7. Was opening a packet of spaghetti as our friend who is a chef taught us, which is banging the packet against the counter so it opens. The spaghetti flew out and if I hadn't my glasses on, I'd be completely blind right now. Told my husband and he only shook his head and said: Only you, Eerie, only you.

That said, this thread fills me with joy and contentment. Clearly, I found related souls in here.

EerieSilence · 27/02/2020 17:53

Oh, and I was once trying to be kind to a plant (I normally kill all of them just having them in my care) and straightened it when it fell over. I forgot it was one of those fluffy gobshity cactuses and spent the next hour trying to get all those pesky disgusting little needles out of my palm. It hurt.

SagelyNodding · 27/02/2020 18:02

Someone ran into me while I was barefoot and snapped my little toe. It was hanging by the flesh and skin on the top, but the bone was broken and the skin under the toe was ripped open too, so it was just flapping Envy
Went to A&E, but they couldn't do more than tape it and now it has a permanent bump.

Lactarius · 27/02/2020 18:20

Was trying to make a steel catapult for the kids to play with and had about 8 inches of red-hot steel in a vice. As I was twisting the steel the vice stand wobbled so I grabbed the aforementioned red-hot steel with my bare hand to steady it. This was about as comfortable as you would imagine.

EerieSilence · 27/02/2020 18:26

Oh, another one: I once made a huge yawn, something popped in my neck. I managed to dislocate and block a vertebra. Took two weeks of physiotherapy to loosen up the cramped up muscles and get the vertebra back into it's usual position.

EerieSilence · 27/02/2020 18:31

its usual position.
Apologies.

Smartanimal · 27/02/2020 19:47

When you accidentally stab your pinky toe on the foot of the bed while walking by. Need I say more?

ThePolishWombat · 27/02/2020 19:53

I’d had a sporting accident, resulting in a couple of cracked and bruised ribs. Horribly painful, but all in all not that dramatic, and not sustained in a stupid way - just a hazard of the sport!
The stupid part came when I was recovering from that Blush Once I could stand relatively upright, and walk around more, I was in the kitchen and did an almighty, bend-at-the-waist sneeze. Two of the cracked ribs broke. One of them pierced my kidney. I ended up with some pretty gnarly internal bleeding and a hospital stay Blush

I’ve learned to control my sneezes Blush

HerRoyalCarbyLess · 27/02/2020 19:57

Oh I've found my people!

I dislocated my finger by scratching my boobs.
I kicked a door frame and broke my toe.
I kicked my own crutch and fell over, banging my hip and badly bruising it.
I twisted my ankle getting out of bed.
I fall down the stairs in a regular basis.
I dislocated my wrist shaking someone's hand.
I dislocated my shoulder by shrugging my coat/bag etc off.
I Subluxed my knee by turning too quickly.
I went to get a kitchen towel to clean up the drink I'd spilled and slipped in the drink I'd spilled.
I broke two toes kicking the same door I'd previously broken a toe on.
And so many more that I can't even remember right now!

ThePolishWombat · 27/02/2020 20:01

I also had a fight with one of the optics when I worked in a pub.
The optic won.
I got 4 stitches above my eyebrow Hmm

TwoZeroTwoZero · 27/02/2020 20:31

I walked into the big metal gate in the car park in the place I was working at the time. I was opening it and didn't realise it only went so far. It stopped, I carried on and bashed my head on it. The headteacher had to drive me to the minor injuries unit and I had 4 stitches.

I stapled my own finger when putting up a display.

I was playing with a sharp knife and cut my finger open.

I caught my arm on the door handle as I walked past and had a massive bruise that took ages to fade.

I dropped the spin dryer on my foot and bruised my toe. The bruise lasted months.

EerieSilence · 27/02/2020 20:32

@HerRoyalCarbyLess, me too, I had a black toenail from kicking my own crutch by an accident.

HerRoyalCarbyLess · 27/02/2020 20:50

@EerieSilence
You wouldn't think I was only 28! I honestly feel like a frail old lady at times. Blush

mytypeonpaper · 27/02/2020 20:53

Scars all over my body from burns including my stomach for some reason. Broke my little toe bunny hopping on a bench.

mytypeonpaper · 27/02/2020 20:55

When I worked ina kitchen they had this knife that was just so smooth and I didn't believe it was sharp and before I had time to stop myself I ran my finger down it. Turns my stomach thinking about it now. So.much.blood 🤢

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