What are the most stupid injuries you’ve had?

[UnicornRiders]

I know this isn’t the right place, but let’s try to create some humour on AIBU for once

My most stupid injuries are,

I slept funny on my arm which resulted in a dead arm, I then slapped myself across the face, leaving a bruise

Was moving a rock in my garden, dropped it on my foot and broke a toe

Knocked myself out chasing my friend up a slide - I was 14

I have also done the cartoon 'step on a rake' move. Luckily it was at an angle and it hit me in the shoulder, not the face.

Burnt my arse on the tubing of a stand up sun bed whilst bending down. Tube had only just being changed so not only did I scorch my arse on it I also ended up with pretty bad burns on the rest of my body because I'd stupidly decided to go on for 14 mins wearing baby oil.

Mangled my fingers inside my mixer. Didn't break them but they were bruised and swollen for a few days

Gave myself severe whiplash and concussion falling over roller skating. Ended up in hospital not long after with Massive neurological issues

Broke coccyx ice skating. Had to hobble to the train station and then be carried up one side of the stairs and then back down the other side

Had scrambled egg explode in my face

Managed to trap my boob in a standing hoist at work

Rolled over in bed and dislocated a rib. Seriously. How does this even happen?

Ahh this thread is definitely me.

I burnt my eye ball when pouring a cup of tea. For some reason decided to look at the tea bag up close when pouring boiling water and it bounced off the tea bag straight in my eye.

My eye was shit for weeks.

Caught and scratched my nipple on the catch on the door. It bled and hurt for well over a week.

When making a cup of tea, I missed the mug completely and poured boiling water all over my hand!

Shut my thumbnail in a car door as I got out and it started to drive off. It wasn’t even that long, I have no idea.

Cut my finger to the knuckle bone while getting knots out of a horses mane. You could see the joint moving. That bled a lot.

Put my hand down while playing on the school field, picked it back up with a razor blade in it. That bled a lot as well.

Sprained my ankle as a child during gym class. Doing something spectacular? No, I was stood half on and half off one of those inch thick gym mats when someone pulled it out from under my foot.

While pissed and carrying a tray of crockery, slipped barefoot in a dog poop on a tiled floor, slid across the kitchen and face planted in a cupboard door handle. Smashed crockery, sliced nose, cut foot, and my first ever black eye. Surprised it took me so long tbh.

Fell asleep watching tv on my iPad and it fell on my face and cut and bruised my nose.
I’ve burnt myself cooking many many times.
I still have a scar on my hand from when I stabbed myself at school with a pencil.

Fell over bottom of my pyjamas and broke my toes. Took the wand out of my Dyson and hit myself in the eye. Looked like someone had hit me in the face!

A grazed ear from walking into a lamppost when reading a book.

A broken little finger. Who knew how much we use that little guy!?! Turns out, a lot!
Was sooo annoying.

I brushed the sole of my foot across my other leg and drew blood.

Time to get that dry skin on my feet seen to methinks 😳

A nasty scar on the chin from stitches after tripping over the first aid box

Moved an empty wardrobe but left big speakers on the top (was in the 90s), speaker began to fall and I thought it would be a good idea to try and put my foot out to stop it's fall. Broke my big toe. Crutches for 4 weeks.

Last year stepped in cat sick, slipped and did a total Torvill and Dean slide down the hall which ended with proper ballet splits. Ended up in A&E with torn ligaments. took me 6 months before I could bend my leg properly.... fucking slid on cat sick... belms

Many years back I broke my wrist tripping over a hotel disabled ramp .... I was sober

I wrenched all the ligaments in my hip/back when I tried to do River Dance wearing unsuitable sandals after drinking too much gin. I was in agony, limped in to see my doctor who, when I told her, said 'sorry Pinot' and then promptly laughed like a drain!

Fell over the hoover in the dark and gave myself a black eye.

Slipped in massive comedy style on mud patch in co op car park and broke bone in hand, shopping everywhere, drove home with hand swelling fast as didn’t know what else to do.

Oh, and fell downstairs wearing my spice girl trainers in 1998, knocked myself out

I sprained my ankle telly badly in puppy class. Nothing spectacular either, I just took a step back from my puppy in order to teach a sit & stay ...

I’m remembering more now! Fell sideways out of loft hatch onto ladder and tore strip of skin off my thigh, this was truly awful. Ruined trousers too

I ran into a low washing line when I was a teenager. I had a really bad rope burn across the middle of my forehead

I opened a bottle of wine with one of those corkscrews that have arms at the side. The arms go up as the blade goes in to the cork
Then you push the arms down hard, with the web of skin between finger and thumb trapped in the ridged bit of the corkscrew. That was a lot of blood!
I was sober. About 10 years old, helping my parents.
Nice deep bone-showing cut across the end of my finger. We were camping. I was washing up plastic plates. Aged about 7. Nobody knew what had been sharp enough to cause that cut. Still, no more washing up that week.
Parked at local swimming pool for ds to have his lesson. Took baby dd out of the car. Turned to walk toward pool, tripped over the kerb I was parked beside. All thoughts turned to dd! I had a twisted and bruised ankle, grazed shin, bruised knee, twisted back, jarred shoulder. Dd thought it was funny as she was unhurt.

While out running I ran into a squirrel and had a big bruise on my ankle for a week!

Sprained my lungs due to coughing. It presented as heart attack so ended up in resus hooked up to ecg machine and oxygen; hubby not happy when I started to do Darth Vader impersonations.

Happened again two years later....he still hasn't forgiven me!

Mind you he accidentally took my very high strength anti depressants twice in the same week and had to have a psych evaluation that it wasn't a call for help!! 😂😂

Neither one of us can be trusted...

Was admitted to hospital with horrific acid reflux because I had done a handstand against a wall for ten minutes as a dare.