What are the most stupid injuries you’ve had?

[UnicornRiders]

I know this isn’t the right place, but let’s try to create some humour on AIBU for once

My most stupid injuries are,

I slept funny on my arm which resulted in a dead arm, I then slapped myself across the face, leaving a bruise

Was moving a rock in my garden, dropped it on my foot and broke a toe

Knocked myself out chasing my friend up a slide - I was 14

Showing dd I could fall flat on a mattress without putting my hands out I landed on my finger. Went to AE because it looked broken but just damaged. Finger still has an odd bend in it.

I got a small nasty scar just under my eyebrow.
Hit my face in the dark on a very sharp corner on a piece of furniture after I came home with DS who was screaming blue murder because he had a poo nappy and Alexa refused to turn on the light and I was looking for the lightswitch whilst in a hurry. It hurt like hell and I felt so awful when a few seconds later I felt a lot of warm liquid streaming down my face. I rushed to the sink and screamed when I saw my face in the mirror. I looked like a fucking personage from a horror movie.

I remember crying because I was in pain and shock, washing the blood of my hands and arms and quickly changing DS’s nappy with still blood running down my face. Then I Face Time-d my friend in a medical profession on the other side of the world who told me to calm down, it wasn’t that bad, no stitches required probably but needed to see a doctor to have it cleaned and taped. Then I called DH who immediately came home to take me to the nearest GP.

I felt awful because I had literally nobody else then DH to call in this situation and I realized how vulnerable you are as a new mum in a strange county

I am possibly the most clumsy person ever - I have Ehlers-Danlos so tend to injure myself in odd ways. I once managed to fall off a treadmill at the gym and knock myself out. I woke up a full 24 hours later in hospital attached to all sorts of machinery, still wearing my revolting gym kit.

I opened the front door onto my foot and broke three toes. No reason why other than being a fool.

Fell out of bed crawling out of bed to turn my morning alarm on phone when hungover. Phone was on the floor are the foot of the bed. Broke my finger.

At age 14 i mock karate kicked the boy of my dreams. He grabbed my ankle, i fell on my wrist and broke it!

At an embarrassingly old age I remember being sat at my desk at school looking at my pencil sharpener.

And wondering what would happen in I tried to sharpen my little finger...so I did, just to test it out.

Turns out you can sharpen your little finger and it results in a LOT of blood and the loss of the nail

I don’t know what i logically thought was going to happen to be quite honest

I was baking a Victoria sponge sandwich cake. I got the first baking tin out and held it up to my ear to listen if it was done - as I had been taught in the dark ages at school. [If you can hear it sizzling, it's not cooked.]
Anyway, I accidentally touched my face with the hot tin and ended up with a burnt smiley on my cheek for weeks... Took some explaining everywhere I went. There's still a faint scar.

@ihopeyousteponalegopiece

Stood on some crumbs, wiped them off against my other foot and cut my foot open. On crumbs.

5 times now I’ve sliced a bread roll on my hand and not stopped cutting when I’ve reached the other side. Twice resulting in stitches and 3 times “just” a deep cut.

Sorry but this is so funny!

@SinkGirl Is that the reason for your name? Please please share the story!

Fell down the stairs reading a book. Broke two ribs & bruised coccyx. It was a really good book though.

@mugoverandover my mum and I have kept bursting out laughing all day each time we think of your story!

I was on holiday with my cousin when we were about ten and were lying close to the shore with our tummies touching the sea bed. Decided to race like this (basically dragging ourselves like seals) to see who reached the beach first. Cousin let out a scream. as we were getting further up the beach the sand had turned really rough with sharp bits of broken shell etc and scratched the tops completely off his nipples

@Honeyned oh my word that is hilarious 😂😂😂😂 yours beats mine! 😂

A friend at school broke his foot playing chess 😂

I have a new one, well, maybe more embarrassing than most stupid. My son has a broken arm, so arms in plaster, he hit me in the face in the night and he’s given me a massive shiner.

Better think of a more manly story!

I broke my wrist after falling over. I fell whilst dancing "enthusiastically" to Gangnam Style. When I fell, to cover my embarrassment (!) I got up and did the macarena. It was at DF wedding and more than one celebratory glass of wine had been consumed

Standing up in the shower, decided to scrub my feet with a pumice. Fell over and broke my nose. Nurses asked if I had been drinking

I once managed to puncture my wrist with a sharp pencil. Blood was squirting everywhere. Had to have stitches.

I once sneezed whilst cleaning my teeth and put my back out for about 18 months

I have a new one to add to my list.

I have just dislocated my wrist by putting my PJs on.

Fell flat on my face when I tripped over a bulldog going for a jog in the park. He changed direction and ran across me. Cuts & bruises, but he was fine.

Nipped the top of my arm in the car door. There were 3 of us in the back seat and pretty squashed I reached out to close the door and slammed it closed on my upper arm.
Wondered what would happen if I pressed my finger into the stapling part of a stapler. Answer get a staple in my finger.
Don’t try this at home 😬
My DH loved riding his bicycle. One day he thought he knew the route so well he could do it blindfolded. So he put his coat on backwards and put the hood up. All was going well until he cycled into a lamppost.

Age 19, pissed as a fart, locked out of my parents house as I’d lost my keys, decided to climb up on the porch roof and shimmy through my open bedroom window, slipped and fell off the roof, landed badly and broke my leg.

Couldn’t move and started screaming and the neighbours had to wake my parents up to phone an ambulance.

What a dick I was

Never drank for eight years after that......

Someone I knew slipped on a plate he left at the side of his bed. He ended up going fo hospital for stitches.

I twisted my lower back playing swing ball... I told people I did it playing tennis, well it is sort of

Broke my toe running in flip flops

I stopped on my bike at the side of the road outside some shops, and a car was driving by very slowly looking for a parking space.. it went over my foot... It was like slow motion but god it hurt

A home bikini wax resulted in my labia tearing in between outer and inner. Lots of blood and trip to a and e but healed fine