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Original poster

What are the most stupid injuries you’ve had?

265 replies

UnicornRiders · 25/02/2020 00:32

I know this isn’t the right place, but let’s try to create some humour on AIBU for once Grin

My most stupid injuries are,

I slept funny on my arm which resulted in a dead arm, I then slapped myself across the face, leaving a bruise

Was moving a rock in my garden, dropped it on my foot and broke a toe

Knocked myself out chasing my friend up a slide - I was 14 Grin

OP posts:
IceBearRocks · 26/02/2020 17:45

Moving house and was washing a bucket out over the bath...slipped and broke a couple of ribs! Nothing can be done about ribs so just left them.
Woke up the morning....creeped across the landing to the loo naked.... saw massively distorted broken ribs in the mirror and fainted !! Ended up with a scaphoid fracture in my wrist too...to make matters worse DH who was DF then called an ambulance who came out to passed out naked me ! Woo hoo!!

Original poster
UnicornRiders · 26/02/2020 18:02

Some of these are priceless!

Thank you all for your contributions

I remembered some more,

My dog ran after a cat instead of letting the lead go I ran with her, well I got dragged. Dragged into the back of a car as my dog went under & I didn’t Grin

On behalf of my friend,

He shut his own head in his car door by rushing Grin almost knocked himself out. He had a huge egg the next day Grin

OP posts:
MidsomerMum · 26/02/2020 18:05

Managed to swing my bare foot into a concrete strut. It was excruciating, swelled up like a blue balloon. X-ray in a and e showed I’d broken my little toe. I was so embarrassed. Also once stood up underneath a bookshelf that I knew was there and suffered major concussion.

Kanga83 · 26/02/2020 18:07

I broke 4 toes, my collar bone and wrist falling off a chair in a nightclub as a student.

4 months after that, I tripped over my bed in halls and re-broke the same toes.

Burnt my wrist and needed the burns clinic for 3 months the first night I moved in with my now husband on a flipping veg steamer.

Knocked myself out cold walking into a glass door when on a training contract. Touch wood, I've been fairly accident free the last ten years now...

Kanga83 · 26/02/2020 18:09

My husbands stupidest injury was my fault. In our early days during a night of passion he got caught on my necklace during a bj. So much blood. He fainted and needed stitches on the back of his head. That was a mood killer in a&e at 2am.

OldQueen1969 · 26/02/2020 20:49

Not me but happened on a night out at a club. In our party was a very large "rugby" built lad who was sitting on a sort of barrier made from scaffolding type poles, with his feet hooked round the lower rung. We were all a little bit merry, and I think a particular song came on that we all HAD to get up and dance to. Our poor mate launched himself up without unhooking his feet....... we literally watched it happen in slow motion as he splatted on the dance floor..... being a robust (drunk) type he bounced up and kept on partying...... I believe he has ongoing issues with his knee injury ten tears after the fact......

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 26/02/2020 20:56

Big bump on the back of the head having run myself over with an electric pallet truck.

Spaceprincess · 26/02/2020 21:37

Broke my toe getting a jar of Dolmio :S out of a high cupboard with a fork (it fell onto it) while pissed and hungry years ago.

SciFiScream · 26/02/2020 22:06

Broke my middle finger playing snap. I won because my hand was on the bottom but I snatched it out because I knew my finger had broken. No one believed me. The next day I had to have my finger straightened by the hospital (it had seized up against my palm). They forced my finger against my thigh and then put a plastic splint on it.

The other funny injury was when I burned the inside of my nostril sniffing a lighter. It was really sunny so I couldn't see the flame. So I sniffed it to see if it was working...only I had to press it to smell the fuel...and turned it on so a flame went perfectly up my nose and I burned my nostril.

somm · 26/02/2020 22:10

My (giant) Greyhound is a silent assassin. As I move around he places himself behind my knees without me realising. So far he's not managed to carry out his assignment, as I'm still alive.

However, with two previous Greyhounds I ended up in A & E when I was walking them. One took a dislike to a Boxer coming towards us, excited the other one (both on leads); took off at their 60mph standing start and left me face down on the pavement. I wouldn't let go of their leads in cases I lost them. I had a smashed cheekbone, gravel embedded in my face, and two broken fingers. A few days later I was in Paris for my 40th birthday - I looked absolutely lovely :-)

With my third rescue dog (there is a pattern) I ended up face smashed into the pavement because I was walking him in flip-flops and a massive downpour happened. My feet slipped about in the sandals. I very narrowly missed a concrete bollard with my head. Massive swollen black eye.

I still keep rescuing the dogs, but I largely wear sneakers. [Don't worry Walter, your time will come - you'll catch me out at some point.]

Sarahlou63 · 26/02/2020 22:12

Attempting to slice frozen raclette - sliced my thumb to the bone. Wrapped it in a tea towel and drove to hospital where I had 6 stitches. Drove home, starving, only to find the bloody dogs had eaten all the cheese!!

JoshArcherStoleMyTractor · 26/02/2020 22:15

Got attacked by a swan still have a scar on my leg, got attacked by a seagull it pecked my head and made it bleed, I walked into one of those two gate type things to stop bikes when I was a child because I had a hat on and knocked myself out, fell off a pair of high heels and broke my wrist, did this thing at school where everyone was squeezing their chin with their thumb and forefinger in a circle to make it look red like a cherry, squeezed too hard purple bruised chin for a week. That's just off the top of my head, I'm an idiot.

MrsZola · 26/02/2020 22:20

Not me - DH - ended up in A&E with a vegetable peeler injury. FFS! A bloody vegetable peeler!

imnottoofussed · 26/02/2020 22:34

Two pissed up ones and a third not Confused

As a teen first time I was ever drunk, also first and last time I smoked a cigarette. Was walking down the street to the shops with friends, dropped the cigarette bent over to pick it up and fell over onto one knee and straight on my face. Cut through my new jeans, my knee and also cut my nose across the bridge. Got up and carried on walking to the shop with mates. Didn't realise until I got up the next day that my nose had a big scab across it and knee and jeans were cut to shredsGrin

Second pissed up one at uni went to bed drunk one night, woke up for a wee but when I stood up the room tilted on its axis and I veered across the room and landed on a pile of laundry. Got up perfectly fine and went to the loo. Next morning woke up to small smears of blood on the sheets and sore arse cheeks. Turns out there was a mirror on top of the laundry and I had sat on it and shattered it and had tiny cuts on my bum.

Third slightly scary injury when pregnant I was up a ladder painting the wall with a hand roller. Suddenly got weird pains in the upper left chest and couldn't breathe in without agony also couldn't lift my arms etc and had to breathe really shallowly, thought I was having a heart attack or something. Went to a and e where after much testing they determined I had pulled a muscle in the upper left chest wall.

Horses4 · 26/02/2020 22:35

Broke a toe when a pestle and mortar fell out of a cupboard. Heavy buggers when they drop from a height!

mugoverandover · 26/02/2020 22:40

I was 8 and at soft play in butlins, I was going up through the obstacles and a girl was coming down at the same time but I didn't see her and her toe nail scraped across my face right through the end of my eyebrow, I ran to the table my mum and dad were on outside and got cold tissue water toilet roll on my face by my mum 😂, I still have a scar now 😂

MissDai5y · 26/02/2020 22:45

"Drying a metal baking tray held in left hand, tea towel in right hand. Rubbing dry, tea towel shot off surface of tray and tray smacked me in face."
@3catsandcounting

OMG I thought i was the only one. I did exactly the same thing with a frying pan and it smacked me on the bridge of my nose. It left quite a mark/bruise and I'm not sure that those who asked about the mark quite believed the "I hit myself in the face with a frying pan" story.

TeetotalKoala · 26/02/2020 22:49

Not me but one of my favourite stories is of a male friend. As a teenager his friends dared him to ride his bike out of a tree. So he did. Broke his arm. Flew to Spain for two weeks the next day with his arm in a cast, unable to go in the pool.

Anniecott · 26/02/2020 23:04

Slipped a disc in my back getting off the toilet, was a very embarrassing visit to the doctor, was off work for weeks as I couldn't move. 🙄

LittleCandle · 26/02/2020 23:08

So many - falling down stairs more times than I can count; injuries from coming off horses; black eyes, facial stitches, sprained ankles, cut fingers - you name it.

Probably the stupidist one was putting my foot into the leg of my high waisted, wide legged trousers (it was the 70s) and falling down stairs. I sprained my ankle - but not the ankle that was tangled inside the trouser leg. That would have been too obvious. No, sprained the other ankle.

5foot5 · 26/02/2020 23:31

When I was small (about 5) I had seen a picture of a lion tamer holding a chair up in front of him while performing with lions. I decide to play lion tamers so I swung a kitchen chair up in to the air - only it was too heavy for me to hold it and I dropped it on my face where it smashed in to my two front teeth and loosened them and made my mouth bleed.

Ellmau · 26/02/2020 23:39

Stabbed myself with a pencil.

Not me but someone I know: fell off a stool while swatting a fly on the ceiling. Fly survived. Human broke leg.

3catsandcounting · 26/02/2020 23:56

MissDai5y - Shock at least mine was a relatively lightweight baking tray. A frying pan has much more clout, as well as more comedy value.

abbidabbi · 27/02/2020 02:11

Broke my foot by falling into a pothole and then broke it again the day I got out of my cast by walking into a door. Got a lump on my head by walking into the wing mirror of the bus I was getting off.. very embarrassing! My sister once nearly broke her leg by trying to run down a hill backwards (as a child, I might add)

sueelleker · 27/02/2020 08:28

I was 8 and at soft play in butlins, I was going up through the obstacles and a girl was coming down at the same time but I didn't see her and her toe nail scraped across my face right through the end of my eyebrow, I ran to the table my mum and dad were on outside and got cold tissue water toilet roll on my face by my mum , I still have a scar now
When young, we visited somewhere that had an old Army tank on display. Climbing out of it up a ladder, a boy accidentally kicked my sister in the face.