What are the most stupid injuries you’ve had?

[UnicornRiders]

I know this isn’t the right place, but let’s try to create some humour on AIBU for once

My most stupid injuries are,

I slept funny on my arm which resulted in a dead arm, I then slapped myself across the face, leaving a bruise

Was moving a rock in my garden, dropped it on my foot and broke a toe

Knocked myself out chasing my friend up a slide - I was 14

I broke my coccyx coming off the end of a children's slide at a soft play centre.
A child began climbing up the slide as i was going down with my niece on my lap. I had to lift my legs up high to avoid kicking the kid in the face. I felt the crunch as i stopped at the end. It took four people to get me into the car. The x ray was on all fours with my trousers around my ankles. I had to sit on an inflatable doughnut ring for six weeks until it healed

I was once ironing in the buff and somehow managed to burn my boob with the iron. My nipple really blistered very badly and I was in so much pain for days. I'm big of nork so had to wear a bra to work. Of course, every time I wore one, it would take the skin right off my nipple. Spent quite a few days at work ashan white. No more naked ironing.

I once in my teenage years decided to do the ironing in just my knickers. Probably because I'd run out of clothes.

I ended up with the pointed end of the iron on the skin of my tummy. Horrible burn and very silly thing to do.

I always wear clothes and an apron now when ironing.

At age 9 I cut myself a slice of cheese with a nice sharp kitchen knife, then raised the cheese to my mouth while still holding the knife. For a split second I could see the knife heading straight for my right eye but I stopped just in time. So I guess this is more 'almost the most stupid' than the real thing.

I fell on my butt on the steps of the US Capitol in Washington DC one drizzly day and emptied a little cup of green tea all over myself while I was at it. A little crowd gathered around to help me up - so mortifying.

Thanks to traffic restrictions and one way streets in DC I had to walk several blocks from the scene, soaking wet front and rear, to meet DD1 in a car and go to her apartment to change clothes to continue sightseeing.

I had to drive 13 hours the next day with an aching lower back.

Lesson - don't wear leather soles on wet limestone flags. And drink your tea before you leave the restaurant.

I nearly got a plane diverted on a medical diversion because I had a blister.

It was flying back from somewhere particularly unsanitary, dirty streets, no drainage, and id been walking in the rain. I got a blister. Flying back that night, my toe started to swell, and swell, and swell. Turns out I was actually unconscious and sweating profusely and the guy next to me raised the alarm to the cabin crew.

My toe where the blister was had swelled to around twice the size, was bright yellow, and throbbing and looking like it would explode.

There was a doctor on board to managed to create an incision, drain all the infection, and immediately I was so much better. Only an hour left of the flight, Landed and straight to hospital to treat the infection, and all was fine!

Fell off a three meter cliff whilst playing Pokémon go with the kids-broke my wrist!

I have quite a few, my friends and family call me master of disaster... I fall over a lot

Most recently, went out with a friend, I had ONE drink. Walking to the car i slipped on a stone and tried to do an unsuccessful tuck and roll, and landed on a rock. Cut my knee so badly I could see the bone, elbow didn't get off too lightly either. I was more upset when I finally got up that I had ripped the knee of my brand new trousers during my tumble. A few days later I counted 17 bruises all over.

As a kid I used to ride my bike to and from school. I was so busy chatting to my mate that I rode right into the pavement and broke my arm.

A few years later when I started going clubbing, I went outside for a bit of air and went to sit on a small wall. It was smaller than it looked so when i sat i fell back and fractured my knee. It was sore but i carried on dancing etc into the small hours. Got home and could hardly walk. Crutches for 6 weeks.

Also out on a night out. Had far too much to drink and fell into a tree. In the morning i felt quite uncomfortable so asked my then bf what it was. I had a branch lodged into my back. I was wearing bf shirt and it had a massive hole in the back where the branch went through. He was more annoyed about the shirt.

A few months ago i got up from the sofa and just fell over. Sprained my ankle. I blamed the dog saying i fell over him, but it was a little way away from me.

Took my large breed puppy to puppy class and she really was the biggest of all the puppies there. We had to hide at the other end of the tunnel, she was supposed to run through it and find me (like every other puppy did), except my puppy decided she knew where I was, took off like lightning and jumped right over the tunnel and landed on me. Sprained my arm and spent yet another 4 weeks in an arm sling.

I got a splinter or what I thought was a piece of glass in the heel of my foot. After trying to dig it out unsuccessfully I decided to just put drawing ointment on it to get it out. I did this for a few weeks as this thing would just not budge. Every few days I would slice it open and tried every blasted cream including sudocreme to get this splinter out. After a couple of months I had such painful hips and realised it was because I was walking on the ball of my foot on that side. Eventually went to the podiatrist, when he sliced the offending area open, it had formed a sac of fluid around the sodding thing. The pus just gushed out and i thought it was never going to stop. It took 3 visits to him and chemo drops to the area to get it sorted. It was a piece of wood, I have NO clue how it got in there.

My most recent escapade. I slipped on the smallest little incline on that fake grass that was a bit damp. Currently seeing physio as my coccyx is so damn painful.

I was re-sussed during the op having my wisdom teeth taken out.

I cut my finger badly while chopping something for dd's school lunch one morning. I fainted and woke up in a different room with my dad next to me. I was out so long dh had phoned me and he drove from his house to mine and I was still clean out.

At a family party I danced with my brother. We took a wrong turn and he stood on my toe. Broke it. It was so bloody painful for weeks after.

There is more but I don't think believe will believe me if I carry on

@TeeBee

This thread has had me chortling this morning.

Can we vote this one for classics......

Lots due to low blood sugars! Sadly as it causes memory loss I rarely know how the injury happens, I did however have one spectacular one that was witnessed. We we’re in a hotel and we’d been out longer than expected hence the low blood sugar, I was in the bathroom having a wee and I fell sideways hitting the toilet and the bath. The gap between the bath and toilet was tiny, my boyfriend had to feed me enough sugar to get me 100% alert and I had to do some weird wriggling around to get out. I broke two ribs!

Another on was I fell out of the stationary car (somehow forgot I needed to use my legs), bashed my head on the edge of the curb, got my leg stuck under a pedal and just accepted my new life and laid there for a few minutes.

Dropped a bottle of elderflower pressé on my foot and broke my toe.

I dropped a glass which just broke in thin air- it slit my wrist when I was 8 or 9. I've still got a beauty of a scar from that.

I dropped a plate, then fell over the bin bag I put it on slicing my foot open.

I used to have to stand on a small stool to get to the pots and pans, the stool moved whilst I was on it and I head butted a pan, bent it because of the force and looked like the elephant man.

I gave myself concussion, headbutting the toilet.

I knocked myself out one day antibacing the bathroom when I had sickness and diahorrea. The mirror fell and hit me in the head and created a nice slice. The hospital weren't sure it wasnt DV and I was questioned repeatedly and given a leaflet of who I could contact for help because they didnt believe what happened. (I was using antibac everywhere because I thought it would stop anyone else getting ill- especially after I'd been sick)

DH broke my toes by standing back on the ferry to France one Friday night. He stood back and twisted his foot, somehow unaware my two little toes were beneath him. I was so angry at him lol. We were going to Disneyland and I hobbled the whole weekend in sandals because i couldn't get my trainers on. The next day my daughter got me over the head with the car boot.

Family of very accident prone people.

This wasn't me, but a friend.

His wife asked him to get something out of the very top cupboard, which he did. He turned around with the item in his hand while standing on the stool and didn't realise the ceiling fan was on. It got him on the forehead.

We still laugh about it when we see him. Not that it was funny at the time though.

Jumping on a bed aged 6. I was told to stop but didn’t....... promptly fell off the bed and cracked my collarbone off the bedroom door. That was the first day of the summer holidays. The lady working in x-ray said it was the worst collarbone break she’d seen in her 30 year career.

Couple of years ago I was completely sleep deprived due to my newborn. Cooking pasta for dinner. When it came to straining it for some stupid, stupid reason I didn’t bother doing it over the sink instead emptying it over the kitchen floor scalding my feet and legs. 🤦‍♀️

Burnt my face on boiling hot cup a soup because I tried to drink it with the spoon in and it flipped soup up. I had huge scabs for ages and looked like I'd got some awful disease.

When i was a teenager, I once bit a big chunk of skin off my middle finger! I will admit, I was drunk at the time! I cannot remember why I felt the need to bite my finger, but I obviously overestimated my bite, and bit sooo much skin off! It healed naturally, but I still have a scar!!

I often walk in to door frames

Trod on a plug, the shock caused me to drop the tape measure that was in my hand which landed on my toe and broke it.

Oh! I have more! As a young adult, I, not once, but twice, fell out of my high heels!

The first time- I was walking down a flight of stairs in a nightclub and I came out of one of my shoes, and fell from about the 7th or so step straight to the ground level! I was mortified, and laughed it off. Woke up the next day covered in bruises and everything ached!!

Only about 6 months later, I was on a small stage in a pub, for a photograph at my friends 21st. As everyone was coming off the stage, I fell out of one of my high heels and fell off the stage! Again, I was so so mortified and just laughed it off.. again, woke up the next morning bruised and aching!

I stopped wearing heels that don't have straps after that

Oh, and more recently, I sprained my wrist opening my bedroom door! The door is a circular door knob, so when I twisted it to open it, my wrist "popped". The sprain didn't heal for about 6 months as my job at the time was physical, and I kept upsetting the healing process. To this day, I don't have much strength in my wrist, and can feel the sprain a lot!

I ironed my hands
Had one of those ironing press things, went to straighten the clothing, and the lid fell on my hands
‘‘Twas very sore and I had a line across both hands where it was burnt

I ended up in A and E during a festival because a fly flew down my ear, I then used DP's keys to try and get it out. Doctors all had a good laugh.

Damaged coccyx when trying to roller skate. Doctor in A and E needed a pee sample but I want able to see because of the pain. When I did manage they didn't even bother testing it for blood as it was purple.

Tripped on a cat and ended up in a sling.

Was in hospital for a kidney infection. Passed out due to the infection and cracked my elbow. Came out of hospital in a sling.

DP, as a child, was jumping on his sister's bed. He tripped and landed head first on the wooden head board. Everyone thought his front teeth has been knocked out but they'd actually been pushed back up in to his mouth.

All these make me feel so much better about being accident prone. Good to know I'm not the only one.

Tripped over the cat on the landing, and stubbed my big toe on the blanket chest. It split open like an overripe tomato!
Also tripped up some steps at work, put my hand out to save myself and caught my little finger on the corner of the wall. It wrenched the ligament, and 30 years later the finger still droops.

Aged 9 toasted a marshmallow on a fork over the gas hob. Had fork shaped blisters on my lips for weeks.

Fell up the stairs and broke my nose.

Slammed the door and sliced my arm open on the latch.

Sprained my knee while tying my shoelace.

Dislocated my shoulder (posterior dislocation) tying my hair back... as an a&e nurse I can’t begin to tell you how embarrassing that was. Colleagues to this day still ask if I did it with strenuous shagging!