New lodger - shall i ask him to leave?

[Snorkers]

In a bit of a quandary!
Me and my husband have converted most of the rooms on the first floor of our house to a kind of annex - so a kitchen / living room, bathroom and bedroom - which we recently let out. I still have an office up there too but we live downstairs.

In our ad we clearly stated we wanted a single person who was mature, respectful, quiet and a non smoker.

Our lodger moved in just over two weeks ago, having split from his partner 6 m ago and told us he had been at his brothers but 'had to leave' due to arguing die to the small space, he seemed nice enough.

We agreed his kids could stay at the weekends so long as the noise was not excessive, and they have been fine. We agreed that I'd run the hoover round and surface clean the bathroom on Fridays (only as I want to keep an eye on things due to previous bad experiences).

However earlier this week we noticed a really rank fishy smell coming from his living room. It went but came back again ten fold on Thursday and could be smelled downstairs too.

On Fri when i hoovered i had to empty a make shift bin (despite us providing a proper one already) which was basically a bag for life sitting on the side with rotting food and fish packaging in. The smell was all over the house at this point. I texted him and told him.

In addition - there was also a load of dirty washing up from the offending fishy meals sitting on the side. In the bathroom the toilet seat and lid was splattered with shit so I was pretty unhappy.

On Sat the smell in the whole house was unbearable and he was out - i went in there and the dirty pans and plates are still there festering with bits of rotting fish on. I texted him again and asked him to sort it and he said he would when he got in later that day.

I threw open the windows in his living room to air it and saw a fag butt on the window sill.

When i questioned him about this he said it wasn't him and I said it didn't get there itself, then he said it was his 'friend' who he had allowed to smoke in our house despite us clearly stating no smoking, also - we had no idea anyone except him and his kids had even been in the house - this was late at night some time.

Would you kick him out?

I feel like there is no trust there and I am worried about if we go away or something what poor decisions will he make then? Who will be in our house and what will they do?

Oh god. Out out out. Immediately.

Spare room is how I found a M-F let. You've got an unusual set up as there are self-contained kitchen and living area so more like a bedsit and that's a real bonus. Some lodging agreements don't include use of kitchen or living area, just the bedroom.

Get rid.

"It's common to have quarterly inspections of the whole place by the letting agent or LL in private lets."

I rent as do many of my friends and nobody is inspected as often as quarterly. I'm inspected every few years only. They have to give me notice and they only look for major problems. Smoking is not allowed in the flats, but some of my neighbours with the same LL do smoke.

Of course get rid of him. He’s stinking your house out and allowing other people to smoke, thinking it’s fine because he was the one who agreed not to!

how will you find your mythical quiet non intrusive, non messing making lodger though

I know several people near us who have lodgers exactly like this. My sister used to be a lodger in a friend's house in London, too. She wouldn't have dreamed of being disrespectful or messy.

Glad you've given him notice, OP. He's not lodger material.

We must have been very unlucky, Gwen, and from the sounds of it, a lot of people on MN (lots of threads about letting agents having a go at tenants after inspections about dirty dishes on the side, unmade beds, etc). Had inspections in nearly all the places we private rented, quarterly or every 6 months. Of course the LL or letting agent has to give notice (that's another thread when it comes to viewings if you're in lets that are on the market).

Haven't seen a flat that allows smoking in ages! I don't smoke, but used to. Never inside.

how will you find your mythical quiet non intrusive, non messing making lodger though

LOL they arent "mythical". Most people I know manage to abide by non smoking rules (they smoke outside) and manage to not leave bits of rotten fish around the house stinking the place up for weeks on end. Crazy I know- but SOME people really can manage to do this and live respectfully in someone else's house! Its really not a mythical concept

"and from the sounds of it, a lot of people on MN (lots of threads about letting agents having a go at tenants after inspections about dirty dishes on the side, unmade beds, etc"

You can't take posts like that as representative. People post when there's a problem don't they. They wouldn't be posting about something that's a non-event.

"Haven't seen a flat that allows smoking in ages! "

They don't officially allow it, but it happens. I live in a low income area where most people smoke and I think LLs are aware of this. Very heavy smokers are not going to go outside whenever they need a fag.

sounds like he was brought up by one of the 'oh, it's what teenagers do' parents on here - lies about the obvious, cannot leave a toilet clean and expects staff to take rotting food out.

get rid today. Lodger not tenant, for the hard-of-reading on here, so no protections and just as well.

The agreement was that you would go in on a Friday to hoover the place and clean the bathroom. So entering on any other day to inspect dishes and bins is not part of the agreement. Asking him to get rid of dishes etc is also not part of the agreement.

I would say give him some notice to leave but you need to wonder if you are cut out for this? The smoking aside, a dirty bathroom and dishes being left is not something you can control. You also can't just go into someone's personal space when you feel like it either. If you agreed Friday, Friday is it unless there's a plumbing emergency or something like that and you give notice. Texting him on a Saturday when you shouldn't have been in there to say that he needs to wash dishes is over the top. No the smell isn't nice but all you had to do was speak to him when he got back and say you can smell something awful, can he deal with it. You shouldn't have entered and went raking about, he isn't your child

OK use your one month's trial get out.....
BUT what a breach of his privacy for you to keep.Walking in and out of his home, uninvited and then telling him what to do!

Omg. If you want a tenant then give them the respect they deserve and obey their legal rights like notice periods to enter!

I felt sick reading your post
Kick him out asafp

Get him out .

His brother chucking him out .... shoulda listened.

Op has already served notice for those still saying to get rid,

Personally I feel that's correct, as she's said he's a lodger not a tenant and agreed to the conditions. And he couldn't even keep the place tip top and smoke free so early on during trial period.

I'd be wary of air b n b though OP. You can get mainly decent professionals but you can equally get the wrong people in too.

I rent as do many of my friends and nobody is inspected as often as quarterly. Everyone living in Newham, and probably in many other London boroughs, are inspected quarterly as it's part of the Council's regulations when granting Landlord licences. In fact I was just asked to provide my record of quarterly inspections for one of my houses to prove it had been done.

My friend solved all her lodger problems by stipulating women only.

That's just one person's experience of course.

Out he goes.
It'll only get worse.
No wonder the brother booted him out on his nuts.

I got to the point where you say he breached the no smoking agreement. That would be it for me, he doesn't take your rules seriously. Kick him out.

As for the cleanliness, I think your words "I'll run the hoover around" got translated into "I will clean after you so don't worry about anything" in his head.

Look for a female lodger next time. I know that sounds terribly sexist, many apologies to all men who tidy up after themselves!

so that they are on paper at least 'shared' otherwise the rules and his rights will completely change and he would become a tenant

Just be careful OP as it will be what happens in practice rather than what the written agreement says that a court would use to decide whether someone is a tenant or a lodger. Hopefully no-one would challenge you and refuse to leave, but it seems an unusual setup for a lodger so the grey area is a bit of a risk.

Things like using the upstairs kitchen to make a cup of tea when you're in the study, and using that bathroom (not in its current state!) would help, I think. I would also keep some of your stuff in the kitchen since it's shared.

I really wish people would stop wittering on about flats and letting agents and tenants and ‘invading his home’ etc - he’s a lodger, it’s not the same thing as renting a self-contained house/flat from a landlord at all.

My friend only has lodgers who are in IT over from India temporarily. Gets a steady stream from a few local employers. Never any bother whatsoever.

The OP is quite right that she has to maintain unrestricted access to the "shared" kitchen and lounge. Lodgers usually get a bedroom with access to the shared living spaces. If a lodger was in a home with only one kitchen and did indeed share it with the homeowner then the dirty dishes left everywhere is very relevant. You wouldn't put up with it from a flat mate or a lodger. Same goes for the rotten fish dumped in bags around the "shared" rooms.

Any lodger would be very lucky to have basically exclusive use of more than just a bedroom and a bathroom at lodger prices. OP I'm happy to hear you gave him notice. If he does this when he's supposed to be making a good impression in the trial period then god knows what he'd be like once he was out of the trial period.