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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New lodger - shall i ask him to leave?

238 replies

Snorkers · 23/02/2020 09:20

In a bit of a quandary!
Me and my husband have converted most of the rooms on the first floor of our house to a kind of annex - so a kitchen / living room, bathroom and bedroom - which we recently let out. I still have an office up there too but we live downstairs.

In our ad we clearly stated we wanted a single person who was mature, respectful, quiet and a non smoker.

Our lodger moved in just over two weeks ago, having split from his partner 6 m ago and told us he had been at his brothers but 'had to leave' due to arguing die to the small space, he seemed nice enough.

We agreed his kids could stay at the weekends so long as the noise was not excessive, and they have been fine. We agreed that I'd run the hoover round and surface clean the bathroom on Fridays (only as I want to keep an eye on things due to previous bad experiences).

However earlier this week we noticed a really rank fishy smell coming from his living room. It went but came back again ten fold on Thursday and could be smelled downstairs too.

On Fri when i hoovered i had to empty a make shift bin (despite us providing a proper one already) which was basically a bag for life sitting on the side with rotting food and fish packaging in. The smell was all over the house at this point. I texted him and told him.

In addition - there was also a load of dirty washing up from the offending fishy meals sitting on the side. In the bathroom the toilet seat and lid was splattered with shit so I was pretty unhappy.

On Sat the smell in the whole house was unbearable and he was out - i went in there and the dirty pans and plates are still there festering with bits of rotting fish on. I texted him again and asked him to sort it and he said he would when he got in later that day.

I threw open the windows in his living room to air it and saw a fag butt on the window sill.

When i questioned him about this he said it wasn't him and I said it didn't get there itself, then he said it was his 'friend' who he had allowed to smoke in our house despite us clearly stating no smoking, also - we had no idea anyone except him and his kids had even been in the house - this was late at night some time.

Would you kick him out?

I feel like there is no trust there and I am worried about if we go away or something what poor decisions will he make then? Who will be in our house and what will they do?

OP posts:
Ninkanink · 23/02/2020 10:25

Get rid. That’s what a trial period is for.

Gwenhwyfar · 23/02/2020 10:26

" That's the nature of the beast and reflected in price and also flexibility for him - he also may simply leave at any time"

I've pointed out prices aren't cheaper. Lodgers also have contracts stipulating a notice period so can't just leave either, though in this case seems to be in his trial period.

Willow2017 · 23/02/2020 10:26

She isnt a landlord.
He isnt a tenant.
His mess is affecting her whole house she has every right to find out where the stink is coming from.
I suspect his brother threw him out for similar reasons!

Get rid op. He has no respect for your property never mind you. Who thinks its ok to leave rotting fish lying around or leave a shitty loo for someone else to clean? And the smoking is just the start. What if he has 3 friends round who all.smoke next time?
This is your home your rules.

Snorkers · 23/02/2020 10:31

OP- have you thought about only having Mon-Fri lodgers?
Thank you so much for the info about that site - I had no idea that existed an that sort if arrangement would be perfect. I will check it out!

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 23/02/2020 10:32

"how will you find your mythical quiet non intrusive, non messing making lodger though?

Really easily,"

I was a lodger. Didn't smoke and didn't leave rotten fish around. It's quite possible that I sometimes left dirty dishes or annoyed landlady and other lodger in some way, but there are different degrees of being a bad lodger and I think you're quite unlucky with this one.

longwayoff · 23/02/2020 10:36

Get rid of him FAST. Before he beds I. Further. He won't improve.

Antihop · 23/02/2020 10:38

Definitely tell him to leave. I've been a lodger and lived in a house with lodgers. You have to be compatible or it won't work.

TooTrueToBeGood · 23/02/2020 10:43

I don't think it's remotely clear cut whether he is a tenant or a lodger. A lodger, as I understand it, has their own room but will generally share the rest of the common facilities to some degree. This individual has their own self-contained living space including bathroom and kitchen. Sounds more like a tenancy to me. That doesn't mean you can't still get rid of him but make sure you know exactly what his legal rights are and act within them.

jay55 · 23/02/2020 10:44

@snorkers people I work with who lodge mon-fri mostly started out finding places through air b&b and then negotiated a longer term rate.
So might be worth considering both routes.

Justaboy · 23/02/2020 10:45

Ha Ha!! Wonder why his girlfriend kicked him out;?.

datasgingercatspot · 23/02/2020 10:51

Our lodger moved in just over two weeks ago, having split from his partner 6 m ago and told us he had been at his brothers but 'had to leave' due to arguing die to the small space, he seemed nice enough.

This was a MAJOR red flag and as experiences landlords I'm amazed you didn't spot this. This just SCREAMS that the person is a disgusting pig so bad even their own family throw them out.

SO glad you told him he needs to leave. If you let other rooms on that floor the smell will piss off the other lodgers. I'd have complained and have also been a lodger and lived in houseshares in the past.

As for the 'run the hoover' and 'clean the surfaces', either charge for maid service or just do inspections like tenants in private lets have all the time. LOL @ all the 'you are so controlling going in his room!' comments, you lot obviously haven't private rented in a while. It's common to have quarterly inspections of the whole place by the letting agent or LL in private lets.

QueenOfCatan · 23/02/2020 10:56

Bloody hell, DH and I lodged for 5 years and would never behave like this. We lived with one who was like this though and left pretty sharpish. The owners were on a 3 month visit to family so rented their room out, within 12 hours of being in the house he trashed the bathroom and kitchen. How you can have so little respect for people I do not know.

LonginesPrime · 23/02/2020 10:58

As for the 'run the hoover' and 'clean the surfaces', either charge for maid service or just do inspections like tenants in private lets have

I think the point of providing cleaning services was so that OP can argue it's a lodging arrangement and not a tenancy, especially since the kitchen/bathroom situation is a bit of a grey area.

Monty27 · 23/02/2020 11:04

Eeeew get rid
You haven't done anything wrong OP. Ex except even having to ask for second opinions.
Toodasweet Shock

happinessischocolate · 23/02/2020 11:04

A tip when you're looking for a tenant or lodger is to go a visit them to sign any contracts in their current home, you can quickly spot a dirty slob before they cross your threshold

Squoozie · 23/02/2020 11:06

'YABU about going in and texting him about washing up etc etc. You're a nightmare landlord and you either need to decide in your mind that it's your lodgers home not an extension of your home you just happen to let people stay in, or decide you can't let go enough and do BnB or not bother.'

It is not the lodger's home in law and it most definitely is an extension of the OP's home. That's what lodging is; sharing your living space with someone for money.

JudyCoolibar · 23/02/2020 11:09

LOL @ all the 'you are so controlling going in his room!' comments, you lot obviously haven't private rented in a while.

LOL at the fact that this post doesn't grasp the difference between private renting and lodging.

fairlyplump · 23/02/2020 11:10

Get rid asap, dirty icky man

JudyCoolibar · 23/02/2020 11:14

www.lodgerlandlord.co.uk/2010/03/09/the-five-main-differences-between-a-lodger-and-a-tenant/

The facts that the lodger does not have exclusive possession and OP provides services mean that this is lodging arrangement, not a tenancy. OP, I suggest you get rid at the earliest possible opportunity.

datasgingercatspot · 23/02/2020 11:16

LOL at the fact that this post doesn't grasp the difference between private renting and lodging.

Right, because it's not about that, but cute, trying to be insulting by what you consider a clever little dig. Hmm Hope you feel lots better about yourself, you Star. Glad to have helped!

You could write such inspections into the contract same as private lets and if people don't like it, they don't have to lodge with you.

At any rate, glad you gave notice, OP. He's rank and will never improve. This is him on his best behaviour. Now you know why everyone's thrown him out.

JudyCoolibar · 23/02/2020 11:21

So you weren't trying to be cute/insulting with your LOL, @datagingercatspot? Apparently you can dish it out quite happily. Hope you feel better about yourself.

Mosaic123 · 23/02/2020 11:22

Look at the website spareroom.com. You can specify Monday to Friday lodger only in your search.

carly2803 · 23/02/2020 11:24

ewww get rid!!! today!!

carly2803 · 23/02/2020 11:24

ewww get rid!!! today!!

datasgingercatspot · 23/02/2020 11:24

I feel fab about myself, Judy. It's great you have joined us in this. So glad to be of assistance. Welcome! Smile Please feel free to join the Derail Threads by Getting Personal R Us club, too. It's alive and well on the internet, they'll make you an admin in no time with your skills. Have fun!