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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New lodger - shall i ask him to leave?

238 replies

Snorkers · 23/02/2020 09:20

In a bit of a quandary!
Me and my husband have converted most of the rooms on the first floor of our house to a kind of annex - so a kitchen / living room, bathroom and bedroom - which we recently let out. I still have an office up there too but we live downstairs.

In our ad we clearly stated we wanted a single person who was mature, respectful, quiet and a non smoker.

Our lodger moved in just over two weeks ago, having split from his partner 6 m ago and told us he had been at his brothers but 'had to leave' due to arguing die to the small space, he seemed nice enough.

We agreed his kids could stay at the weekends so long as the noise was not excessive, and they have been fine. We agreed that I'd run the hoover round and surface clean the bathroom on Fridays (only as I want to keep an eye on things due to previous bad experiences).

However earlier this week we noticed a really rank fishy smell coming from his living room. It went but came back again ten fold on Thursday and could be smelled downstairs too.

On Fri when i hoovered i had to empty a make shift bin (despite us providing a proper one already) which was basically a bag for life sitting on the side with rotting food and fish packaging in. The smell was all over the house at this point. I texted him and told him.

In addition - there was also a load of dirty washing up from the offending fishy meals sitting on the side. In the bathroom the toilet seat and lid was splattered with shit so I was pretty unhappy.

On Sat the smell in the whole house was unbearable and he was out - i went in there and the dirty pans and plates are still there festering with bits of rotting fish on. I texted him again and asked him to sort it and he said he would when he got in later that day.

I threw open the windows in his living room to air it and saw a fag butt on the window sill.

When i questioned him about this he said it wasn't him and I said it didn't get there itself, then he said it was his 'friend' who he had allowed to smoke in our house despite us clearly stating no smoking, also - we had no idea anyone except him and his kids had even been in the house - this was late at night some time.

Would you kick him out?

I feel like there is no trust there and I am worried about if we go away or something what poor decisions will he make then? Who will be in our house and what will they do?

OP posts:
VBT2 · 23/02/2020 09:35

Ask him to leave, he’s broken your trust several times over and is affecting your living downstairs. There is an ideal lodger for you out there instead.

Glitteryone · 23/02/2020 09:37

Send him packing ASAP!

If he behaves like this during the trial period, it will get worse.

Disgusting pig.

TaniaArse · 23/02/2020 09:37

Legally as a lodger he's a licensee, not a tenant. He doesn't have exclusive possession. He's in much the same position as if he was staying in a hotel. So you're entitled to go into his space. And you're entitled to chuck him out with minimal formality, which I would do immediately.

trhjl · 23/02/2020 09:39

I don't think you should be a landlord.

You cannot be so controlling.

Why is there an agreement that you go into his living spaces once a week? This is not quiet enjoyment.

I had a landlord like you before, wanting to consistently do checks on the house. It was ridiculous.

He is your tenant, not child. It's up to him when he washes his dishes. He can use makeshift bins all he likes.

SidneyPrescott · 23/02/2020 09:42

Get rid!

We rented out a room to a guy with a child and it was a massive mistake. We should have kicked him out straight away but we allowed him to stay for 9 months.

The first day he went into our study (which was more our own living room) to use the phone. He said he had to call his bank urgently to sort out a problem. Turns out he had a gambling problem, was being chased by numerous debtors and every month rang expensive gambling lines despite being told the study was our room. He also helped himself to food. He was late with rent every month. He frequently blocked the downstairs toilet and just left it. He managed to break every piece of furniture it the room, and he drew on one of the walls. And, after giving him notice, on his last day with us, he text my husband if he could stay as he'd not arranged anywhere to live.

Never again.

AhNowTed · 23/02/2020 09:43

@trhjl

I agree, this isn't a tenancy I'd be interested in.. worrying about washing the dishes in my own space, landlord poking around my rooms.

The arrangement about hoovering and cleaning the bathroom is utterly ridiculous.

Bikerider2020 · 23/02/2020 09:44

You have no business whatsoever inspecting his toilet and whether he's done his dishes.

Except it was agreed that OP would go in on a Friday!

Get rid OP, today!

AhNowTed · 23/02/2020 09:45

"Except it was agreed that OP would go in on a Friday!"

Which is a ludicrous arrangement.

Bikerider2020 · 23/02/2020 09:46

@AhNowTed whether you agree with the arrangement is completely irrelevant! Read the OP because you're not fully informed and therefore talking nonsense.

Also landlords do inspections at least annually anyway. He left the mess knowing the OP was inspecting on Friday and didn't give a damn, he's a bad lodger.

Greenandpleasanter · 23/02/2020 09:47

His telling you about his brother would be a red flag for me. You want someone who will be considerate because it's your home. I couldn't have someone living with me who was that dirty and it's only going to get worse.

Make sure you get references from previous landlords in future. It's better to wait to get someone good than have a bad tenant.

GinDrinker00 · 23/02/2020 09:49

Get rid, he sounds like a nightmare.

motherheroic · 23/02/2020 09:49

I'd hate my landlord coming into my room every week to clean up like I'm a child.

Gwenhwyfar · 23/02/2020 09:50

"You ABSOLUTELY have the right to go in - he's a lodger. His low rent will reflect this"

This always gets trotted out on MN, but rent for lodgers where I live is the same as any other house share. Obviously it's cheaper than renting a whole flat for yourself, but no cheaper than renting a room somewhere. Lodgers should still have rights.

Having said that, I couldn't put up with the smell of rotten fish so I'd ask him to leave. Sounds like OP would have smelt it even if she wasn't going into his room every week.

SalmonOfKnowledge · 23/02/2020 09:50

I think you should ask him to leave, yes. I hope he goes.

Having been a tenant myself I would find it a bit intrusive for you to come in to my space though, even to hoover. But if he was OK with that, maybe he thought you would clear up his mess/tidy up ?? Did he thing that you were coming in to clean?

Roomba · 23/02/2020 09:50

This is not quiet enjoyment.

The standard tenancy clauses like this don't apply for lodgers though, do they? The law is very different, hence the much lower rent.

MimiLaRue · 23/02/2020 09:51

GET HIM OUT. Who leaves rotting fish around? thats the worst smell in the entire world. Kick him out now and dont look back. Then throw open all the windows and put a bowl of coffee grounds in the rooms that smell. Coffee absorbs horrible smells really effectively.

bottlenose301 · 23/02/2020 09:51

Whether you have a right or not to go in every Friday it was agreed and so with that in mind, and the fact that he knew to expect this plus trial period I would get rid as it will only get worse.

My parents had a lodger and left her to her own devices. One day they had to gain access due to a serious plumbing issue, they gave her the heads up and it was actually the plumber who said to my parents you need to see this. The room was vile. Food and blood wedged and smeared into the blanket and pillow, food everywhere, shit all over the toilet, the room was a state. My parents got rid. They were really upset.

Twillow · 23/02/2020 09:52

WEEK ONE and he's messy, smelly and dirty with questionable respect to house rules. It will only get worse. A quick "This isn't working for us" I think.

MimiLaRue · 23/02/2020 09:53

Food and blood wedged and smeared into the blanket and pillow, food everywhere, shit all over the toilet, the room was a state. My parents got rid. They were really upset

I'm utterly aghast reading this. Who lives this way? how can people live like this? bloody hell

FlamingoAndJohn · 23/02/2020 09:54

I think there is confusion here between tenancies and lodgers.
The rules are different for lodgers.
Talk to him about it, see if anything changes, if not then boot.

Bagofoldbones · 23/02/2020 09:54

She also went in on the Saturday with no prior notice. How would you like some one poking around your things when you wasn’t expecting it.

Like I said ask him to go as you will both drive each other potty!

dottiedodah · 23/02/2020 09:54

I think I would ask him to leave ASAP .As he is on a trial period then its not a problem really .My DDs friend lives with us and is a lovely lad ,very thoughtful and considerate .Always clean ,tidy and quiet ! Why did he move out of his last digs ? Hmm!

Mamabear88 · 23/02/2020 09:55

I would if I were you. On the basis of the smoking. If you clearly stated non-smoker in your terms then he shouldn't have been letting a friend (I think it was more likely him) be smoking in there! Not acceptable. I'd tell him it is a fire risk and he has broken the agreed contract and has to leave.

Idontkowmyname · 23/02/2020 09:55

Yep get rid and change the locks

pictish · 23/02/2020 09:57

I understand why you want to put him out. I think you should.

However, I agree with trhjl - you’re equally a pain in the arse as a landlord. Sorry.

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