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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my dd's teacher is OK in having an affair with one of the class parents

251 replies

tilbatilba · 05/09/2007 09:39

We have been travelling for a few months and have just returned to our very quiet little town to discover the grade 4 teacher, Ms X, is having an affair with the mother of one of the children in the class.
It is now a very public affair. The female teacher wants to remain in her job. The mother of 4 that is in the relationship is OK about everything. The father of the 4 children is furious and legal action is pending.
What would you do? The child in the Gr 4 class is well aware of everything and the family is in a mess.
My dd is due to join this class very soon. The betrayal of trust is beyond belief. My dd has been at the school for 4 yrs and very happy.
The issue is ...my trust of the gr 4 teacher is shattered. The unions are suppporting her and she intends to stay....she is very cold and hard....I think I should be looking for a different school
xx

OP posts:
foofi · 05/09/2007 10:09

YABU It's none of your business.

Boco · 05/09/2007 10:11

There's only one male teacher at dds school and he looks about 14. DDs new teacher is quite an attractive and glamorous older woman. I'm not saying i'd make a move, but she's a good looker.

heifer · 05/09/2007 10:13

hope she isn't on MN boco - because now she is scared very scared.....

lou33 · 05/09/2007 10:14

or maybe not heifer!

Boco · 05/09/2007 10:15

See look what mn is doing to me now - i'm going to get into trouble for sexually harassing my dds 50 year old female teacher. I didn't used to have these problems.

heifer · 05/09/2007 10:16

just watch out - someone at your school may start a rumour about you - or don't you live in a village?

quickdrawmcgraw · 05/09/2007 10:19

I don't think any of dd's teachers would have me! They're all too young and pretty. Would probably be making gagging noises if told 'Shag quickdraw or die'

OP- YABU

Boco · 05/09/2007 10:19

Yes, a small village. That's it. I'm going to have to move. Because then it'd be acceptable to start an affair with dds teacher.

[i'm joking. Anyone who lives in my village and knows mrsL, please, i'm joking, don't tell her, i promise i'll never slap her bum and wink at her again, it was a one off.]

lljkk · 05/09/2007 10:19

If the father is threatening legal action the gay women probably sold their story to raise cash.
Wouldn't pull my child out on the basis of this alone....

lou33 · 05/09/2007 10:20

i can imagine all this going on with the theme tune to benny hill running through my head

heifer · 05/09/2007 10:25

I can hear the tune - and see boco chasing after Mrs L with a ruler in her hand shouting beat me beat me I have been a naughty girl....

flightattendant · 05/09/2007 10:26

I am FERVENTLY hopeful that there is a shaggable male teacher at DS's new school.

I might give up and home educat if not, it's the only thing that's keeping me going about Ds starting reception

snowleopard · 05/09/2007 10:27

YANBU! What is everyone on this thread thinking!? Her being gay and her sex life in general don't affect her teacing, it's the fact that she is having an affair with the parent of a child in her class and everybody knows!!! In other words, she's taking part in destroying that child's family and living out her sex life in public in a way that hurts and emmbarrasses that child. That is unprofessional and it would make me think a teacher was not committed to her job and didn't care about her class.

Would it be fine by you all if a female teacher was having an affair with the dad of a child in her class and his marriage collapsed and all the kids got hurt? I suspect not so much.

Elffriend · 05/09/2007 10:28

YABU. Obviously. Betrayal of trust seems an odd phrase. Why has she betrayed YOUR trust? Were you in a relationship with her yourself at the time? Is that why you felt it ok to take dd travelling and out of school for 'a few months'?

lou33 · 05/09/2007 10:29

i think most people agree it is a v difficult situation for teh child/family concerned

i just dont think it's something that will affect her teaching ability for the rest of the school

lou33 · 05/09/2007 10:30

fa i know a couple who might fit your bill, but they are in essex, miles away from me, not sure where you are

flightattendant · 05/09/2007 10:31

Kent, Lou...

Essex not all that far

YeahBut · 05/09/2007 10:31

YABU. The private life of a teacher is not any business of parents.

heifer · 05/09/2007 10:31

FA - I hope this one will be at your school

they have had teachers at my school like this

lou33 · 05/09/2007 10:33

north essex fa

YeahBut · 05/09/2007 10:33

Heifer, only in my dreams are gorgeous men like that teachers at the dds' school... He can keep me behind for detention any time!

KerryMum · 05/09/2007 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hurlyburly · 05/09/2007 10:36

YABU - what utter nonsense - get a life

heifer · 05/09/2007 10:36

actually - joking aside - I do think it is the business of the other parents..

Not the gender issue, but the fact that she is a teacher who is having an affair with a parent..

It must be affecting the child of the parent, and therefore shouldn't the welfare of the child come first.

If it takes other parents to badger the school to act then so be it..

Surely there must be some kind of procudures in place to deal with this kind of thing...

LaCod · 05/09/2007 10:39

there is < governoror hat on> an argument that the teacher is not allowed tobringthe school into disrepute