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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should it cost me to attend a child's birthday party?

318 replies

sleepyfarm · 19/02/2020 10:24

NC.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not to think this mum is a CF.

DC was invited to a classmates 5th birthday party at a jump trampoline place. WhatsApp message to whole class inviting and giving time location etc. Another message received a few days before party saying 'if you have the socks already bring them if not you can purchase them there'. As I've been to one of these parties before I know the socks are usually included in the party but I didn't think too much about it.

Turns out she has paid entry for all of the attendees (30+) but not for the socks or entry fee for parents. So she hasn't booked it as a party. When another parent enquired about food she said that we would all be going to McDonald's around the corner after the jumping. I'm going to presume she is paying for the meals but who knows.

So when I attend I will have to buy the socks, pay entry, and no doubt spend a fortune on drinks as she hasn't got any jugs put on like they do for parties. Then have to traipse round to McDonald's after.

Am I being unreasonable to think that she is being cheap, and rude? She hasn't made this clear to other parents that this will be happening. It will cost each parent at least £10, some more as there are siblings invited.

My DH doesn't think it's a big deal which is why I'm asking here. I just feel it's a big no no to do this. FWIW she is not struggling for money in the slightest.

OP posts:
JRUIN · 19/02/2020 15:30

Why would you need to buy special socks if you're just watching?

Whynosnowyet · 19/02/2020 15:30

Ds 5 bloody hated it!! Far too vigorously bounced about when older dc are also on.. Came away in tears and he is a rough buggar usually!
Could be trouble ahead op!

Dustarr73 · 19/02/2020 15:31

The thing is people should be just out straight.Invite the whole class if you can afford too.Otherwise just have a smaller party and actually pay for it.

Its only £3,not everyone can afford that and a present and maybe having to buy food as well.

I think oyu need to ask on the WhatsApp if teh McDonalds is included or not.

valentinefallout · 19/02/2020 15:32

@PattiPrice I won't be doing tit for tat. I will do a party for the whole class including ones that haven't invited my dd or just a very small
thing for no more than 5. It's unthinkable to me to leave out just a few kids.

Iamclearlyamug · 19/02/2020 15:35

My DD8 had a trampolining party - we also didn't book as a party but wanted parents to drop and leave anyway. We also asked that those who had socks brought them HOWEVER we bought socks for those that didn't AND sent them home with the child after.

I don't necessarily think she's cheap, entry for 30+ kids must be costing a fortune, as long as she's up front about it which it sounds as though she has been, I don't see a problem.

You can always say no thanks and not go?

ferrier · 19/02/2020 15:42

You don’t have to pay for yourself unless you want to jump? I’ve taken DD & didn’t spend anything more than the cost of her entry & socks. You can enter and watch for free with you DC.

Except that's not how it works at OP's trampoline park as has been explained several times.

zonkin · 19/02/2020 15:48

The MacDonalds thing seems unclear and unless she's booked a large space where is everyone going to sit?

I have 4 DC and hosted some trampoline parties. Agree the party food at these places is dire but they will normally let you hire a room and you provide the food and drinks.

I would not expect to have to pay for the socks as a guest. I factored this into the cost of hosting the parties. I asked if anyone who had socks could bring them along, and quite a few did, but otherwise I bought the socks.

Molly2017 · 19/02/2020 16:03

We went to one of these parties and DD 5 couldn’t do a lot of it alone, I had to go in with her. We had to buy our socks but not pay entrance. The host catered the party herself but in a party room. She then got squash put on the tables.
It was crazy busy on a Saturday and tbh I don’t think DD enjoyed it as she didn’t really get to spend time playing, it was more running from area to area, a bit of bouncy and being restricted by height for half of it.
I don’t think YABU to want to know how much you are going to have to pay in advance.

Betterversionofme · 19/02/2020 16:09

I envy parents of not-winter-children. They have an option of a picnic in a playground. At least at this age.

Devlesko · 19/02/2020 16:10

I'd contact the place directly and ask if you have to pay. Then I'd ask the mum if she has booked Maccies as they might not all fit in.
Ask if it's included in party or if you pay.
Then decide what you want to do.
It does sound like she hasn't thought it through, maybe her first and last attempt Grin
Mine missed some of the expensive parties, they didn't mind tbh and learned about access for all and inclusion.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/02/2020 16:13

It's a finely honed operation designed to serve as many people as they can in as little time possible

.... in reality there are never enough kiosks or serving staff during busy periods.

It's ages since I last went to a McDonalds, but even if you have to queue, it's hardly like you'll be waiting for half an hour, will you? Maybe 10 minutes? It's not like 'traditional' restaurants that sometimes put up signs in very busy periods advising that there's a 30/45/60-minute wait for food, even after you've ordered it .

Johnsonsfiat · 19/02/2020 16:16

Socks ok, but party food should be free.

JennysTailor · 19/02/2020 16:17

Are you in a Macdonalds scrum right now OP?

Are there thirty parents having to swap Happy Meal toys due to them not being the 'right' one?

MaybeDoctor · 19/02/2020 16:20

Am I the only one with an older child who slightly misses whole-class parties?
The party-food, the puzzled-looking dads, the piles of presents, the gossip...Grin It certainly filled up an afternoon!

OldEvilOwl · 19/02/2020 16:33

I don't think you are being unreasonable. The parent should be clear about what is/is not included. You are assuming a lot so why not just ask?

menopause59 · 19/02/2020 16:53

Adults don't pay unless they go on the trampoline you don't pay to watch.
You can buy jugs of juice even if you don't have a party.
A happy meal is a lot cheaper than the food at these places

Have always just paid for entry into the place and for McDonalds afterwards can't really see the problem

TheMemoryLingers · 19/02/2020 17:10

Trampoline places nowadays con you into buying their own socks? I'd boycott on principle for that.

Needbettername · 19/02/2020 17:11

Love all the really annoying you don't pay to watch when the OP has stated several times that as this place non-jumping adults do pay at this place. RTFT.

abstractprojection · 19/02/2020 17:11

I have no issue paying for these sorts of things, but I appreciate it being clear, particularly if cash is needed.

I went to a bowling party, worded as though the bowling was being paid for with no mention of cost or there being a meal. After arriving at said time we're suddenly sitting down for a not very good overpriced meal. On top of this they don't accept card and everyone has to use the ATM which charged for a meal that most people didn't want.

The next day an angry message goes out that someone didn't pay for their bowling. This was me and I was mortified, but at no point was the cost ever mentioned or asked for. Of-course I apologised and paid, but I felt like I had been accused of something, spent more then I could afford at the time, and was just invited to boast the numbers.

Indella · 19/02/2020 17:16

Assuming food is paid for and drinks provided for the kids I don’t see the issue. You are assuming this won’t be provided. You don’t have to book a party to buy jugs of juice etc.

Cheeseandwin5 · 19/02/2020 17:20

So she is paying £300 plus and you will will be paying £3 and maybe a Mcds Happy meal and you think she is the Cf??
Its not ideal, but you have two choices go or not. If you think you cant afford the £3 than dont go, but don't gripe that she should be spending more, when what she has done is to involved as many kids as she could afford to.
Maybe you should speak to your DC and she if she would be happy to not be invited so everyone else's parents saved a few quid.

PattiPrice · 19/02/2020 17:24

when what she has done is to involved as many kids as she could afford to

Again her choice to have that number. If she can’t afford it, have a smaller number.

shinyredbus · 19/02/2020 17:26

What?! Yabu. She’s paid for 30 plus kids. Why should she pay for you?? I’ve been to loads of these - I don’t trampoline with my child - I just watch her or chat. I would in no way expect to be paid for (except once where the host paid for me as she wanted me to help keep an eye on the kids!)

airbags · 19/02/2020 17:43

Think you're looking for reasons to be offended. Your kid is only 5 - please don't get the reputation as the PITA parent when your child is this young.

My local trampoline centre charge £2 for socks. If the parent stays that's £2 also but they give it back to you as a £2 voucher to spend it their cafe. I'd have no issue in paying £2 for socks for my kid. I'd expect to buy myself a drink if I was hanging around at a party so the other £2 is not an issue. Not quite sure how you get to a £10 figure? Assuming your 5 yr old has a refillable water battle too - that's what most people take to jump parks.

I'd assume she's paying for McD's if that's where she's invited them.

CJsGoldfish · 19/02/2020 19:35

Party is this afternoon! I'll let you all know how it pans out
Yeah, please don't feel you have to come rushing back to the thread. It's just another variation of "I don't like her so I'll moan in a thread and get everyone to agree that she's a cow"
All that was lacking is the "everyone thinks so/other parents said the same" but I'm sure you'll rally the troops and come back with a bit of that Grin

I also have no doubt that you'll return with a horror filled story of missing children, huge expense, unhappy parents, awful birthday child etc etc. Especially as you didn't seem to get the reaction you were after first time round.

Hmm, now I'm looking forward to the 'update' 🤣

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