Should it cost me to attend a child's birthday party?

[sleepyfarm]

NC.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not to think this mum is a CF.

DC was invited to a classmates 5th birthday party at a jump trampoline place. WhatsApp message to whole class inviting and giving time location etc. Another message received a few days before party saying 'if you have the socks already bring them if not you can purchase them there'. As I've been to one of these parties before I know the socks are usually included in the party but I didn't think too much about it.

Turns out she has paid entry for all of the attendees (30+) but not for the socks or entry fee for parents. So she hasn't booked it as a party. When another parent enquired about food she said that we would all be going to McDonald's around the corner after the jumping. I'm going to presume she is paying for the meals but who knows.

So when I attend I will have to buy the socks, pay entry, and no doubt spend a fortune on drinks as she hasn't got any jugs put on like they do for parties. Then have to traipse round to McDonald's after.

Am I being unreasonable to think that she is being cheap, and rude? She hasn't made this clear to other parents that this will be happening. It will cost each parent at least £10, some more as there are siblings invited.

My DH doesn't think it's a big deal which is why I'm asking here. I just feel it's a big no no to do this. FWIW she is not struggling for money in the slightest.

I've sat in the cafe and watched my kids at 3 or 4 different trampoline places and not once been charged entry for me.

I've sat in the cafe and watched my kids at 3 or 4 different trampoline places and not once been charged entry for me

And? I've sat and watched mine and had to pay for the priviledge, not all places are the same you know and as the OP already knows they charge how is it relevant that some parks don't?

U have to jump with child if under 6. Shes paying over 300 quid for a party for her child with their friends why should she pay another 100 quid for parents etc (their drinks and admission) unless u spend over 400 quid on a party I know i dont. I did have a jump party one yr had the proper party cost me around 280 never again!

U have to jump with child if under 6

Again, not at my local ones, maybe with toddlers but definitely not school age children, they are all different people

Yeah, I can just see that at the ticket desk:

“Random mumsnetter says that they don’t pay to watch so I don’t see why I should either.”

Are you really quibbling over paying £3 for you to get in 😂😂😂

As a child, £3 would have meant I likely couldn’t go. Parties should be free to attend-that’s what hosting a party entails. Interesting you find the idea of ‘quibbling over £3’ so hilarious when for many people in this country, £3 is not an amount spare.

I'm sorry (to some) pps but leaving your 5yr old at a party is far too young imo.

@TildaTurnip if that's the case then I'm sure they'd not go at all, seeing as you spend money on a present?

No, I would budget for a present but not appreciate (or afford) unexpected costs when I turned up.

I shall share a secret with you all about a life hack I've found quite liberating...you don't have to go to all the parties. The kids will be fine if you don't. If it will cost you money, take up your weekend, involve driving 50 miles out the way, mean you have to sort childcare for uninvited singling a etc then simply don't go! And if your kids are upset then look at it as a life lesson - won't do them any harm to know they don't always get absolutely everything they want

Glummy you are right. I know you are, I need to get into that mindset because I resent all the faff it entails.

I think it’s fine to ask adults to pay their own entry to a kids party as long as you are upfront about the costs. If you can’t afford it, just decline. I’m guessing this is more the issue the OP has, that the woman didn’t mention to parents that they would have to pay entry and how much it would cost. There might be some embarrassed parents on the day.

Glummy I think that realisation occurs naturally after approx a year of non stop parties. I know when my child first went to school, I prioritised parties. Nowadays (other than closer friendship groups) the children attend only if it is convenient to family life.

I don't think I'd want my child eating at McDonald's, particularly at 4/5- if you have to drive them afterwards to get there I'd just leave.

Traipsing round to MacDonalds will be a pain in the arse, parties are supposed to be easy for people attending.

Sounds like fun

All this talk of McDonald’s has made me hungry, anyone else?

I think this is one of those situations where I wouldn’t mind paying to watch and for the socks but equally, if I was hosting, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in asking parents to pay.

Really you are being only asked to pay to go in and socks.
No one is forcing you to eat the junk that is McDonalds or buy drinks there. Take a waiter bottle.

I know that some places like this have birthday black out weekends as it takes money away from weekend sales. Maybe she couldn’t book a party and has still paid for a full class to play.

C'mon OP the party must be over by now, give us the outcome/update please!?

I wonder how it went ...
[shameless placemark] [yes I could bookmark but then I'm a lurker rather than active reader]

Update could go either way.

Op went to party paid £5 for entry and socks, dc had a fab time, juice was provided, all went to Macdonalds where they had a happy meal, came home, happy days, kids all had a great time.

Or

Op didn't go

Really can't see what all the drama is about.

@JennysTailor it's not easy, my DD is 7 and I only just started thinking "Do I absolutely have to go to this party" - because I didn't want to deprive her etc. I just took the plunge and WW3 hasn't happened yet so

YANBU
I absolutely loathe class parties

Just deduct the cost of your £3 entry off your gift budget. That will even it out for you