MIL has moved in with SIL but she has no guest bedroom - so how will we visit?

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My MIL has helped SIL buy a bigger house. On the proviso that's she live in part of the house. I've not seen it yet but it was mine and DH's understanding that MIL would have two bedrooms in her part of the house so our DC - her grandchildren could visit.
MIL is keeping her flat but moving in with SIL.
When DH went to pick up MIL it turned out her part of the property only has one bedroom.
SIL has two DC and their bit has three bedrooms - the fifth bedroom is going to be rented out so they can pay the mortgage.
Thing is MIL gave them a few hundred thousand £s so she could live there.
It's not as if we hardly spend time with MIL. DH myself and our DC often go to see her - several times a year.
Annoyed but knew this would happen...

Easter isn’t that far away. Mil can say to sil oh the other grandchildren will be here for the easter week so make sure the room is empty, as an easy way to flag right now that she expects this commitment to be met.

It seems your children staying will probably affect sil but I guess she should have thought about that?

There’s no easy way to get her money back, but she should change her will.

It’s hard to know how much sil needs extra rental income. If you knew they could pay the mortgage you’d just say pointedly nonsense a few hundred k gets me two bedrooms in this set up and I want to leave it set up for the grandchildren. But it doesn’t sound like she’d be good at that approach.

It sounds like your sil is exploiting your mil. I'm going to be that once the house is bought and they have all moved in, in a few months sil will get annoyed having mil there and suggest that she moves to live with you instead. Then she has her nice massive 5 bedroom house to herself and can get another lodger in to help pay the mortgage so she doesn't even have to do that. Well whatever is left of it after she takes the money from the flat sale if course.

Your mil has made a massive mistake here and probably cost her more than she realises.

Okay I slept really badly last night. My concerns about having a room to stay obviously were the least of the worries.
My MIL has given £500k to SIL in total and she helped us buy our house with £135k two years ago.
MIL is in good health but since FIL passed away she has been emotionally vulnerable.
Her and DH have the closer relationship. SIL has relationship with MIL but never been as close. There have been years when she hasn't seen her.
When DH was younger (before we got married and had DC) he had a drinking problem. However he got therapy and aside from a few slip ups he's been teetotal for the best part of 10 years.
SIL and MIL came up with plan that she would buy a house last summer without telling DH. SIL said that because DH had history of drinking he couldn't be trusted. Right DH has a good job and is our main breadwinner and does his share of the childcare- he is the kindest, most generous person I know and would do anything for SIL (until this). Now am thinking that SIL is looking for excuses to ghost her brother from her mother's circle somehow. I had thought this before she planned to move MIL with her. Now it looks like this may have been some kind of plan to get her hands on her mum's money.
Anyway as you've told me all I can do is advise MIL so I will be telling her to get an LPA and update her will. That's all we can do now. I'm amazed SIL hasn't given her this advice.

That's a lot of money! I'm pretty sure she will have to pay inheritance tax on that £500k.

Only if my MIL dies within 7 years. She is in good health and mentally is very with it.
I don't want her to feel bullied. But she needs to set this LPA up.

Your update is worrying, £500k and they still need to rent a room out? Sounds like Sil is living way beyond her means despite that huge amount of money. Where is Mil just now? Can you get her legal advice without Sil interference? She sounds very conniving.

You could always have your MIL with YOU then there would be a spare room at SIL' house!

She had 500k sitting round before she sold her flat?

This gets worse! Neither of her children are great are they? The poor woman :(

Your MIL is 84 , she will be very lucky to still be sprightly at 91 her needs can change literally overnight .
I feel sorry for her , she has been financially abused . Your DH needs to get LPA for her care as well as financial to protect her interests if she needs a care home or if your SIL caring for her doesn't work out . It's all very worrying.

It doesn't really sound like your MiL actually took advice on this as no solicitor would have approved or encouraged it. I'm afraid it sounds like SIL has taken advantage of her. MiL probably knows this and that's why she is telling you now. It also sounds to me that SIL is doing her upmost to keep you and your DH away by not having a spare room available. Ask mil if she would like you to book an appointment with a solicitor while she's staying with you. What a horrible situation to be in.

Poor Mil, this really isn’t how you want your final years to be. I don’t honestly know what you can do to help, OP, apart from love and support her. The money Sil’s had is out of the picture but your husband really needs to take steps to make sure she doesn’t get her paws on any more. If Mil doesn’t want to live in her flat any more she’d be better off renting it to generate an income and keeping the money safe.

Is there anything I can do?

When I made my will I needed to be sure my daughter didn't inherit anything, because she had unfairly and I think through coercion, received the whole of my estranged husband's estate, our son had been left nothing. My solicitor was adamant that this fact was included in my will, to avoid any possible future disputes. I sympathise with you OP. Arrangements such as your MIL's have gone pear shaped on three occasions in my family in the past. None of them had any form of written agreement, and, sadly, people change.

Looking at this from one side MIL loses only one room in the deal in return for a room in a family home where SIL will care for her in later years. Bit of a compromise, yes, but SIL stands to get the worst deal here if MIL needs lots of care so fair play to her getting some financial gain.

Other side, MIL is being taken for a ride by grabby SIL and her money minded husband. Your DH has moved into grabby mode. Everyone’s got their eye on grabbing. No ones thought about the tax angles and there’s still the lovely flat up for grabs.

Okay now very very worried so I've persuaded DH to tell his mum she needs to book a solicitor with DH and SIL and get them to sign the LPA and change the will there and then...
I think SIL also needs protecting from her own financial naivety

MIL should seek advice without SIL being present. The lawyer can't represent them both as there is potential conflict of interest.

What is sil financial naivety?! She’s been gifted hundreds of thousands of pounds and is still planning to rent a room out. Sounds like she is pretty good at holding onto money!

Okay now very very worried so I've persuaded DH to tell his mum she needs to book a solicitor with DH and SIL and get them to sign the LPA and change the will there and then

Your MIL needs to see a solicitor on her own and she needs to make a decision as to who she wants to have power of attorney. And that may not even be Dh or sil. Jesus wept - you have some neck saying that she needs to change the will there and then with Dh and sil. She needs to do what she wants regarding her will without coercion from your Dh and sil. So by all means advise you mil to see a solicitor, but she should be going alone to discuss HER wishes with her solicitor. And if she chooses to nominate one of her children as power of attorney, her solicitor can then contact them to organise it.

Agree with @Drum2018. She definitely needs to see a solicitor but panicking and rushing in without thinking has led to the current situation. No solicitor worth their salt would agree to change a will in a first meeting like that surely anyway - they will want to ensure the client knows what they're doing.

You said she is still sharp and active. Does she have a sensible friend who could go with her to the solicitors, so that someone neutral but reasonable is there?

OP, neither your husband or Sil should accompany Mil to the solicitor nor should they be named in the LPA. The trust between them has gone and Sil should not be given access to any more of Mil’s money. Is there someone trusted and impartial who can advise her and take her to the solicitor? A family friend perhaps?

While it’s unlikely, if your SIL passed away unexpectedly, there would be nothing to stop her husband asking your MIL to leave the house. I’ve known a case where it happened unfortunately.

The husband was a very unpleasant human being but the wife’s assets went to him.

After talking with my cousin - who is a chartered accountant (forensic though - works in the city) it may be best if DH and I step back. Adopt an 'expect the best but prepare for the worst' there is very little we can actually do...apart from support MIL - and keep an eye on her.
It's a bit heartbreaking but where money is concerned things change people.. my FIL wouldn't be happy with this so I'm going to try and be reasonable and support DH too.

So worried for your MIL, what a sad state to be in. She needs to see a solicitor on her own but maybe with someone neutral with her?? Cousin or her sister maybe?

Please urge she has to sort this clearly. Sister in law has been given500k, still has a mortgage and also has to rent a room out?

Did she buy frogmore cottage???

Oh moregin you've cheered me up - no it's not!