MIL has moved in with SIL but she has no guest bedroom - so how will we visit?

[NeedASwissBankAccount]

My MIL has helped SIL buy a bigger house. On the proviso that's she live in part of the house. I've not seen it yet but it was mine and DH's understanding that MIL would have two bedrooms in her part of the house so our DC - her grandchildren could visit.
MIL is keeping her flat but moving in with SIL.
When DH went to pick up MIL it turned out her part of the property only has one bedroom.
SIL has two DC and their bit has three bedrooms - the fifth bedroom is going to be rented out so they can pay the mortgage.
Thing is MIL gave them a few hundred thousand £s so she could live there.
It's not as if we hardly spend time with MIL. DH myself and our DC often go to see her - several times a year.
Annoyed but knew this would happen...

We know about IHT, my cousin is a chartered accountant so DH and I know the options...

God some of you are so missing the point!

kirkman piling on there? I'm not annoyed about the mortgage?!!

OP, because there appears to be a fair bit of hard of thinking on this thread, is the situation:

Mil has sunk ££££ in the house on the understanding she will have exclusive use of two of the five bedrooms and Sil will look after her when she needs it. Now the move has taken place, Sil has decided to take a lodger who will occupy the fifth bedroom.

Have I got that right?

@Kirkman an 84year old is much more vulnerable than a younger person and the other bedroom is being let to help pay the mortgage.
I think mil was sold a dream and I think sil and bil are pretty naive to not understand the covenants on selling land or building houses.
Surely their solicitor should have told them or did they not make it clear what they wanted to do.
Also they must have some strange financial
situation if after several hundred thousand as a gift they can't pay the mortgage on the rest.
Sorry OP I predict huge problems here.

alsohuman yes!

How am I piling on?

Piling on, in my own?

Who said you were annoyed at the mortgage?

I said you were getting your mortgage paid off but annoyed sil hasnt bought somewhere that provides space for you. So you want ti benefit by having your mortgage paid and benefit by having a guest room in their house.

Why would she only buy a house if it had room for you to stay?

OP

I dont have any real advice, but I would ask for this post to be deleted and redo it with a different title and the OP about what you are actually worried about, people won't read your updates and the OP just makes you sound very ungrateful

kirkman I don't care where I stay. My DCs are used to go to their grandmother and spending time with her - every holiday we all go there (she's lovely but not capable of looking after them on her own) and we thought that this would be the case when she moved in with SIL.
I'm worried SIL is slowing trying to shut us out and I don't know why?

MIL has been sold a pup......and by the sounds of it, so has your SIL. Nowt to be done. If there's any hard talking it should be your dh doing it.

Meanwhile, on your actual question, if there's all this luvverly land that can't be used - buy a touring caravan and plonk it in a pretty corner. So long as your electric cable can reach the house, and there's an outdoor tap you'll have a lovely holiday home...but don't let SIL rent it out!

If MIL is not on the Deeds what proof of part ownership does she have ?

chilli I love that idea!

I see now you are worried that SIL is trying to block you out. With MIL changing her life so much then, is it not a good time to also set up her finances so that your dh and SIL can oversee her accounts, and also get her LPAs organised 😉

If MIL is not on the Deeds what proof of part ownership does she have ?

She doesn’t. Sil has had her inheritance early.

So will your dc.

SIL, maybe not so much, but any complaints you can tell her it's the second bedroom MIL was promised.

From the OP you are unreasonable

From the later parts in the thread - your MIL is not unreasonable at being upset at being misled

However has MIL spoken the the child and spouse who own the house about what her expectations were - did they each assume something different and neither actually discuss it?

One possibility (don't know the house so it may be impossible) but I know a few people that if an elderly relative moved in they tried to give them a downstairs room of their own as well - so that each 'family unit' had some living space of their own. If that is the case (guessing as maybe the MIL said she wanted two rooms - meaning two bedrooms and the BIL?SIL have taken it as meaning one room upstairs one downstairs)

Get some paperwork in place re the early inheritance. Really important.

How is your MIL protected in this? what happens if they decide to kick her out?

I think your MIL needs to move back to her flat and tell them that they have had their money and won't be getting anything again.

If you really want to look after her, and your annex will be ready shortly, she can come and spend time with you instead.

If I were your DH, I'd be telling SIL to stop fucking their mother over and give her what she was promised or MIL will be getting help to put a charge on the property for her money back.

God don't you hate people who exploit their parents.

@MzHz, I couldn’t agree more. Sil wouldn’t stand a chance with us on the case!

Do you think sil is shutting you down because she knows this is a bit underhand?

I think the title of your op is misleading. As actually it sounds like what you are bothered about is your mil being mislead and your sil ripping her off. Also seems v worrying that they need a lodger to pay the mortgage despite 1000s from your mil.
I think you need to help your mil stand up for herself.

MIL has reassured DH that she has been fair re inheritance. When she first told us her plans re moving in with SIL and her DH my DH felt it seemed a bit unfair as they appeared to be in a much better financial situation than us. DH questioned why his mum was giving his sister so much money. There were some heated discussions but DH accepted it rather than cause a family rift. Even though he doesn't like it - it is his mum's money and not worth falling out over.
What concerns me is that SIL has completely changed since meeting and marrying her DH (he has an 18 yr old from a previous marriage) - they are very into 'business and making money'.
But she's effectively ghosted her brother. And now today he's thinking it might be so she can have access to his mum's money.

NeedASwissBankAccount Tue 18-Feb-20 17:03:48
We know about IHT, my cousin is a chartered accountant so DH and I know the options...

Um. did the cousin ok all this giving away money, if so I would be very concerned about his abilities, proffessionalism.

SIL will nurse MIL if she needs it

And what happens if and when her nursing needs require professional, residential care and questions are asked about deliberate deprivation of assets?

If your mil moves in with you when she sells her flat then sil has inherited a substantial property and amount of money. What will mil do if she sells the flat but needs care which sil is unable to offer. It all sounds very complicated,. Can you stay in mil flat.