All this "be Kind" when I know they are not kind themselves

[dogmothertoanother]

I'm feel the hypocrisy flooding my Facebook and social media with all this be kind posts, frames and hashtags #bekind I know most of these people can be total thoughtless bitches and yes you may ask why I'm connected to them and that's a good question- Circumstances, school mums, work.

I don't need to be preached at to be a nice person. I try my best to speak positively to people and be inclusive, friendly and polite ( it's how I was brought up and how I bring up my DS too.)

I know the idea behind "be kind" is a from a good place, but do you think posting it on social media will change people?

This has been annoying me all week as so called friend on Facebook has been jumping on the check in on your friends etc you never know what they are going through and be kind. She even made t- shirts for her business but in rl couldn't take the time to contact me when she knew I was having very serious health tests and I also know her family member is having a really shit time and she can't get over herself enough to ask either of us how we are it comes off as complete attention seeking! I mean she might have stuff going on herself but please stop the fake preaching!!

Attention seeking crap.
I had to laugh when someone I know on Facebook was plastering ‘be kind’, when she was outted last week for having an affair with her best mates husband.

@SpokeTooSoon

I also wonder who the preaching is aimed at

In posting this do people really think their friends are heartless bastards? They must do otherwise why are they literally telling them to “Be Kind”

@RipleysCat
That is truly toe curling

I nearly choked on disbelief when I saw a Facebook friend post nonsense about people being kind and how folk don't know the pressure others are under and how we should all help each other out.

I nearly ended up having a nervous breakdown because of a situation she placed me in last year. I'd tell her to fuck off to her face but apparently she's having a difficult time so instead I roll my eyes and avoid her any time I see her out and about.

But yeah, the "be kind" is a great message that you don't actually have to do anything about other than posting pointless virtue signalling memes.

My friend and I were talking about that today.
Total #bollocks!
Someone I know posts this sort of stuff all the time and can be really bitchy and mean IRL. Unf she is in many aspects of my life and people who don’t know this side of her fawn all over her. I think the no.3 above is a very good point.

No-one is s total saint and is kind to and about people 24/7 as it’s human nature to let off steam about your friends to your partner (or vice versa).

Yanbu, almost all the people I've seen are the biggest bitches of all. It is driving me bonkers.

Well I bit the bullet and said some of these things you have all mentioned on a fb post. Surprisingly it has got a lot of likes and comments agreeing without any unkindness 😁😁

She’s been gone less than a week and now we have charity t shirts? Sorry, no.

I should probably add, I get that Caroline’s friends are in shock and want to channel their grief into something positive, but t shirts just seem tacky to the extreme, even if they’re for charity.

I totally agree, just another excuse to post silly pouty photos and fish for compliments. I hate Facebook due to this, which is why I came off it almost 2 years ago now. I’m kind most of the time, Or try my best,but don’t like people taking advantage.

The t shirt just beggars belief

they only post it because everyone else is posting it. they aren't even thinking about it deeply.

I removed somebody from my fb as they posted a thing about being kind but despite having apparently being friends with them for ten years they failed to say anything about my father dying.

Completely agree 100% also I dont see how people posing and posting selfies can stop someone feeling depressed or suicidal in fact it could probably even make some people feel worse if anything

It’s hypocritical. On mumsnet, it’s be kind unless you’re a Tory then it’s all Systems go.

WTF? a T shirt modelled by keith lemon who started his career by taking the piss out of people, and ridiculing them for laughs?
He can fck right off, the hypocrite- he's never been "kind"

People are great at deceiving themselves. Some of these people probably believe they are kind. They probably can be kind to people they feel are sufficiently important and especially when it doesn't actually cost them their time or energy. The times they haven't been kind they will dismiss in their minds as simply standing up to someone else who was being unreasonable.

Yanbu. A lot of these people will continue to watch Love Island and similar, read bitchy celeb magazines, anything that exploits others. If they genuinely cared theyd cut themselves off from the harmful nonsense.

YANBU. I was talking to a friend about this yesterday. We aren't nasty people but have both been described as "fierce". We don't post "be kind" or fawn. We've noticed over the past few years that we are the ones that will help people. I find that those saying "be kind" are saying it for effect. When push comes to shove they aren't interested.

With Caroline Flack, the media are trying to deflect the attention to social media. We wouldn't even have known anything if they hadn't reported it.

No one ever thinks they are unkind, ever and would never describe themselves as such.
The same way most people think they are fun, generous, a good listener, with a great sense of humour. And most people absolutely are not all of those things, they're not even half of them.

It is human nature to judge and criticise. People see something complex like Caroline Flack's suicide, they can't understand it and so to make themselves feel better they decide that we should all "be kind" and all the bad stuff will go away. Of course you can't understand it as you weren't in Caroline's life and you know nothing about the situation. People know nothing about mental illness and addiction and they don't want to. They shy away from it in real life as it's uncomfortable and messy and puzzling. Instead they spectacularly miss the point time and time again. There was a post on here from a parent who said she just wanted to listen to an audio book away from her child's constant chatter. She was torn down by posters for daring to admit she found it all too hard. Be kind?

Yesterday a poster dared to say she was fed up with people from Towie making a career out of being pregnant and banging on about it every day. Someone called her a troll and said that's how people die - when you post unkind things about them online. People are taking things way out of context and we're hurtling towards 1984.

You know things are bad when Keith Lemon and Russell Brand pop up to clamber onto the bandwagon. Two misogynistic attention seekers who have made a career out of being cruel, mocking, and generally creepy towards women now trying to tell us to be kind? Couldn't you have done that years ago before you made your money?

I realise this is a long rant but I am someone who has lived with anxiety all my life and I have a very close family member who has been sectioned twice. I have sat in the Visitor's room of a secure psychiatric hospital and seen the despair and pain of the patients there. I don't need anyone telling me to be kind when life is anything but that on a daily basis for many people. Be empathetic would be a better line, there but for the grace of God go I, etc.

I left FB over a year ago because it’s full of self-serving, attention-seeking bollocks like this.

All the celebrity posturing has revealed is how very lonely CF must have been surrounded by such insincere people. Pictures and footage of them one minute crying into the camera then a few days later pouting and posing at the Brits. To celebrities and influencers alike all ‘be kind’ means is ‘don’t criticise me’.

Caroline Flack didn’t kill herself because of comments on social media. Suicide is a complex act. There are usually many causes, a combination of factors, layered one on top of another. The root cause was her poor mental health which she had struggled with for a long time. The incident with her boyfriend was the trigger for a breakdown in her wellbeing. The public nature of it exacerbated everything. But it was public because she was a public figure - she chose that life. She could have deleted social media but celebrities are wedded to it these days because it gives them a very self-indulgent means of showing off without relying on magazine and newspapers (like the old days) to interview you and print their interpretation of way you have said. So they do it because they benefit in numerous ways. It’s a pact with the devil.

I don’t think she killed her self because of lack of kindness. I think she was ashamed and couldn’t handle losing her job - possibly never returning to tv - imagine how hard that would be. What job would she get if she was convicted? I didn’t see ITV rehiring her - they have lots of female stars in her mould. She would have been held to a higher standard than, say, Ant McPartlin. Sad to say but that’s true.

Her world had caved in. She couldn’t see a way out. I don’t imagine in her final hours it was Instagram trolls that made her mind up.

These stupid aphorisms are just another way of trying to shut down women who might start complaining about shit that happened to them in real life.