All this "be Kind" when I know they are not kind themselves

[dogmothertoanother]

I'm feel the hypocrisy flooding my Facebook and social media with all this be kind posts, frames and hashtags #bekind I know most of these people can be total thoughtless bitches and yes you may ask why I'm connected to them and that's a good question- Circumstances, school mums, work.

I don't need to be preached at to be a nice person. I try my best to speak positively to people and be inclusive, friendly and polite ( it's how I was brought up and how I bring up my DS too.)

I know the idea behind "be kind" is a from a good place, but do you think posting it on social media will change people?

[Patroclus]

too fucking right i'll rip into tories, and you can deal with it or move to a one party state

[Patroclus]

Why the fucking hell is he dressed as Michael Jackson in that tshirt?

[dayswithaY]

It won't last. It's a social media trend and very soon the sheep will move onto talking about eyelashes or something. Whilst it's important to talk about mental health most people don't really have the stomach for it.

[happinessischocolate]

Nobody thinks they're nasty though do they. Everyone thinks they are a good nice person, and of course they're only ever horrible if they're standing up for themselves or don't like the other person 🙄

On my local fb page someone was complaining that a woman had come into their front garden and taken clipping of their plants, they said they had footage of it and wanted the person the come and apologise. Within a couple of comments someone posted "what happened to "being kind" why can't you just let them have the cuttings" there's been a couple of similar posts in here and now it seems we can't disagree without being told were not "being kind" 😂

[Emmelina]

Slightly off topic as not CF related, but seeing hypocrisy elsewhere on Facebook too. Greta Thunberg is visiting Bristol next Friday. I’m seeing people sharing a screenshot of a photo with the meet time etc on them, “Who wants to car share?” “Yeah I’ll join you!” “I’ll bring eggs to throw” “lol I’ll bring flour ”
Click their profiles and most have posted about CF, be kind, ridiculous filter selfies, “everyone is fighting their own battle”.
But still good to make threats against a teenager with autism trying to make the world a better place of course, because these words and actions won’t hurt her

[Hopoindown31]

Hypocrisy is the only thing you can rely on from public figures.

[dayswithaY]

How many of the people currently spouting this "Be kind" nonsense scrolled past the news reports about Caroline's arrest? How many said "None of my business" when yet another ex boyfriend posted gossip about her on Instagram. Yet we're all supposed to shut up and only say nice things from now on.

[FieldOfFlameAndHeather]

You are so right about how it is layered and complicated. No one element is entirely to blame. Some people /elements could have behaved better when it was clear that she was unwell and vulnerable, but unfortunately most of the people crying foul play now are the same people who would have been hanging onto every word written in every red top and every salacious gossip mag going, and they will be again when it's the next person's turn for a public kicking.

[FieldOfFlameAndHeather]

I completely agree with everything you said Spoke and I made a post myself that said basically the same things, but it was on the original CF thread that got deleted.

[SecretWitch]

@SpokeTooSoon, thank you for your eloquent post.

[SecretWitch]

These stupid aphorisms are just another way of trying to shut down women who might start complaining about shit that happened to them in real life.

[SpokeTooSoon]

Caroline Flack didn’t kill herself because of comments on social media. Suicide is a complex act. There are usually many causes, a combination of factors, layered one on top of another. The root cause was her poor mental health which she had struggled with for a long time. The incident with her boyfriend was the trigger for a breakdown in her wellbeing. The public nature of it exacerbated everything. But it was public because she was a public figure - she chose that life. She could have deleted social media but celebrities are wedded to it these days because it gives them a very self-indulgent means of showing off without relying on magazine and newspapers (like the old days) to interview you and print their interpretation of way you have said. So they do it because they benefit in numerous ways. It’s a pact with the devil.

I don’t think she killed her self because of lack of kindness. I think she was ashamed and couldn’t handle losing her job - possibly never returning to tv - imagine how hard that would be. What job would she get if she was convicted? I didn’t see ITV rehiring her - they have lots of female stars in her mould. She would have been held to a higher standard than, say, Ant McPartlin. Sad to say but that’s true.

Her world had caved in. She couldn’t see a way out. I don’t imagine in her final hours it was Instagram trolls that made her mind up.

[Theroigne]

I left FB over a year ago because it’s full of self-serving, attention-seeking bollocks like this.

All the celebrity posturing has revealed is how very lonely CF must have been surrounded by such insincere people. Pictures and footage of them one minute crying into the camera then a few days later pouting and posing at the Brits. To celebrities and influencers alike all ‘be kind’ means is ‘don’t criticise me’.

[dayswithaY]

No one ever thinks they are unkind, ever and would never describe themselves as such.
The same way most people think they are fun, generous, a good listener, with a great sense of humour. And most people absolutely are not all of those things, they're not even half of them.

It is human nature to judge and criticise. People see something complex like Caroline Flack's suicide, they can't understand it and so to make themselves feel better they decide that we should all "be kind" and all the bad stuff will go away. Of course you can't understand it as you weren't in Caroline's life and you know nothing about the situation. People know nothing about mental illness and addiction and they don't want to. They shy away from it in real life as it's uncomfortable and messy and puzzling. Instead they spectacularly miss the point time and time again. There was a post on here from a parent who said she just wanted to listen to an audio book away from her child's constant chatter. She was torn down by posters for daring to admit she found it all too hard. Be kind?

Yesterday a poster dared to say she was fed up with people from Towie making a career out of being pregnant and banging on about it every day. Someone called her a troll and said that's how people die - when you post unkind things about them online. People are taking things way out of context and we're hurtling towards 1984.

You know things are bad when Keith Lemon and Russell Brand pop up to clamber onto the bandwagon. Two misogynistic attention seekers who have made a career out of being cruel, mocking, and generally creepy towards women now trying to tell us to be kind? Couldn't you have done that years ago before you made your money?

I realise this is a long rant but I am someone who has lived with anxiety all my life and I have a very close family member who has been sectioned twice. I have sat in the Visitor's room of a secure psychiatric hospital and seen the despair and pain of the patients there. I don't need anyone telling me to be kind when life is anything but that on a daily basis for many people. Be empathetic would be a better line, there but for the grace of God go I, etc.

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

With Caroline Flack, the media are trying to deflect the attention to social media. We wouldn't even have known anything if they hadn't reported it.

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

YANBU. I was talking to a friend about this yesterday. We aren't nasty people but have both been described as "fierce". We don't post "be kind" or fawn. We've noticed over the past few years that we are the ones that will help people. I find that those saying "be kind" are saying it for effect. When push comes to shove they aren't interested.

[TabbyCatPaws]

Yanbu. A lot of these people will continue to watch Love Island and similar, read bitchy celeb magazines, anything that exploits others. If they genuinely cared theyd cut themselves off from the harmful nonsense.

[PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall]

People are great at deceiving themselves. Some of these people probably believe they are kind. They probably can be kind to people they feel are sufficiently important and especially when it doesn't actually cost them their time or energy. The times they haven't been kind they will dismiss in their minds as simply standing up to someone else who was being unreasonable.

[MimiLaRue]

WTF? a T shirt modelled by keith lemon who started his career by taking the piss out of people, and ridiculing them for laughs?
He can fck right off, the hypocrite- he's never been "kind"

[Onetwothreeeee]

It’s hypocritical. On mumsnet, it’s be kind unless you’re a Tory then it’s all Systems go.

[Ilovechinese]

Completely agree 100% also I dont see how people posing and posting selfies can stop someone feeling depressed or suicidal in fact it could probably even make some people feel worse if anything

[missingmydad]

I removed somebody from my fb as they posted a thing about being kind but despite having apparently being friends with them for ten years they failed to say anything about my father dying.

[ImOnlyHereForTheCapybaras]

they only post it because everyone else is posting it. they aren't even thinking about it deeply.

[stophuggingme]

The t shirt just beggars belief

[Chuchyduck]

I totally agree, just another excuse to post silly pouty photos and fish for compliments. I hate Facebook due to this, which is why I came off it almost 2 years ago now. I’m kind most of the time, Or try my best,but don’t like people taking advantage.