I'm feel the hypocrisy flooding my Facebook and social media with all this be kind posts, frames and hashtags #bekind I know most of these people can be total thoughtless bitches and yes you may ask why I'm connected to them and that's a good question- Circumstances, school mums, work.
I don't need to be preached at to be a nice person. I try my best to speak positively to people and be inclusive, friendly and polite ( it's how I was brought up and how I bring up my DS too.)
I know the idea behind "be kind" is a from a good place, but do you think posting it on social media will change people?
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All this "be Kind" when I know they are not kind themselves
185 replies
dogmothertoanother · 18/02/2020 14:42
OP posts:
DameHannahRelf ·
18/02/2020 16:10
My ex can be a nightmare at times. He can be a nasty, violent drunk. He's caught in an awful cycle of misery, addiction, depression, self loathing and feeling trapped, more misery, and round and round he goes. And then there's the lies and secrecy. He's been sectioned for trying to commit suicide, and has attempted it at least ten times, in the last fifteen years.
When he's sober he's a top bloke, but he has all these inner demons that drive him back to drink, and to drink more and more (and I think eventually to drugs). Most of the time he's a normal drunk, but 1 in 30 times, (when he uses drugs? He'll not admit to that though), he'll get psychotic (attacking people and destroying property, breaking windows etc), and the police have to be involved.
I let him stay with me recently, as he was made homeless through no fault of his own, when the relative he was living with died. His family are often more stressful than supportive (their hearts are in the right place, but they have no idea how to deal with his issues, and they're overbearing to boot). They'll say things like "you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and get on with things", they'll tease or manipulate him into doing favours, when he's clearly in a dark mood, etc. He stayed for about a month, had a few drinks in the local once a week but that was it, and was a good guest. During this time he finally disclosed he was sexually abused as a child (I've suspected for years, but having it confirmed was still awful to hear).
The night he was due to leave, he got stocious drunk, (and I think took some coke, but he won't admit to that), started his antics, and again, I had to call the police. I think he was terrified at having to go back to living with his parents, knowing how unhappy he was going to be. So he dealt with his feelings the only way he knows how anymore (not meaning to cause harm, but he did loose control again, and did cause harm, again, which just leads to more self loathing).
Of course, every one knows he fucked up (as he did it publicly). What's really annoyed me, are people (neighbours and relatives mostly), who don't know all the ins and outs of his issues (how hard his parents can be to deal with, how emotionally neglected he was as a child, the abuse etc), but call me a stupid bitch for still being friends with him, and trying to support him through a hard time recently (there's been no trouble from him, towards me, for four years now, since we broke up). I've heard that I must be a mug, a doormat, am too soft hearted, am clearly masochistic, I deserve everything I get, am as bad as he is. He's considered scum, shit on their shoes, the dregs of society.
The same people saying all this, and who've been loving the gossip and reason to sneer, are the same ones posting the "be kind" fb posts! The ones that are shocked that Caroline Flack would do this to herself. If my ex ever does die, they'll be the first ones on social media, spouting shit about "that poor bloke" and crying faces.
Sorry that turned into such a rant, it just bugs me when people judge others so quickly, without knowing the full facts, or even trying for a bit of empathy. Then have the cheek to advise others to be nice 
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