All this "be Kind" when I know they are not kind themselves

[dogmothertoanother]

I'm feel the hypocrisy flooding my Facebook and social media with all this be kind posts, frames and hashtags #bekind I know most of these people can be total thoughtless bitches and yes you may ask why I'm connected to them and that's a good question- Circumstances, school mums, work.

I don't need to be preached at to be a nice person. I try my best to speak positively to people and be inclusive, friendly and polite ( it's how I was brought up and how I bring up my DS too.)

I know the idea behind "be kind" is a from a good place, but do you think posting it on social media will change people?

The biggest bitch I know on FB currently has 'be kind' in pink across her heavily filtered profile pic.

But these people can't filter their actual real selves. I feel like saying 'YES BUT I'VE ACTUALLY MET YOU'.

Some of the people on social media posting, ‘Be Kind’ are such bitches themselves!

This! Agree with 'when the situation warrants it'

Someone I know on Facebook has had a terrible few years with bereavement and all sorts. She posted on there that not everyone wants to talk about their struggles : lots do , but for many it's just too painful. It's not always as easy as just being a listening ear ; it's incredibly difficult to negotiate and we're not all the same. I know my dh hates ' talking about it' he just gets up and gets on with it ( his had a tough few years as well. )

Billy Eilish has said she's come off social media because of trolls etc. It can be incredibly toxic. Sad that some like being keyboard warriors without thinking of others and how they might feel.

Sadly although I've been defending the sentiment itself quite staunchly (and still do), I know what you mean. I was particularly amused to see a former friend spouting on about the importance of empathy and being there for others - this was someone who recently ghosted me because my father was dying and I was having trouble coping. Yes, really.

I agree. Same with the ‘be inclusive to kids with ASD’ bullshit that does the rounds every now and again. Putting it on your social media means fuck all.

Saw it yesterday, didn't even know what's it about. I don't pay attention to these kind of tags. Useless.

Problem is, all those bitchy people posting think they are kind. After all, they're only bitchy to people who 'deserve it'. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 🤦🏼‍♀️

But these people can't filter their actual real selves. I feel like saying 'YES BUT I'VE ACTUALLY MET YOU'.

This applies to so much of what I see on social media, not just the whole "Be Kind" thing.

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I feel like commenting: #glasshouses #stones

Oh god yeah I agree OP and thought exactly the same myself.

Bit like posting on fbook 'I'm not sending Christmas cards this year, I'm donating to charity instead'

Right you are

And don't forget the 'my door is always open, kettle is on and my sofa is a place of peace' bollocks too. Most wouldn't say a simple hello to you. Fecin ejits the lot of them. It's always the knobjockeys

Oh yes! Especially my boss!

So true....it's all attention seeking!

I think more than 'be kind' we should be DECENT. Women are always getting told to be kind, be nice. It's not wrong but we could all of us do with thinking about what the decent thing to do is in any given situation.

Someone I know (irl) has (on SM) been being absolutely vile and volatile for a few years now, and it's always 'don't tell me to be kind when I'm standing up for social justice'. It's such a farce. Just don't be an arsehole. There are plenty of people around who manage to walk this tightrope because they are fundamentally just decent people.

Nobody’s mental health will be good if they expect the world to be ordered in they way they expect or want. Be it demanding kindness from strangers, defining how you want to be judged or expecting absolution. That just screams a level of naivety and immaturity that goes hand in hand with very self absorbed and spoilt people. The world isn’t going to give it to you. Nor should it.

Back in the real world, we know most people are relatively good but not always kind or considerate. Some people are just cruel and abusive. We can’t control them or events. We focus on being resilient and having enough self preservation not to throw ourselves to the lions or under the bus.

The comments on this thread remind me why I love MN so much! Brilliant, actual sanity in a world with so much BS.
Feel the need to add that if Flack were a man, people would be saying that he had 'evaded justice' for the DV - he would get zero sympathy. This kind of hypocrisy is very unhelpful to everyone.

Could not agree more OP.

The ones posting this on FB are the ones who are the nastiest at the school gate and who've told their kids that they don't want them playing with my DD2 because of her (minor) special needs. So their FB is all "be kind and I'm listening" but they're stirring up horribleness against a 6 year old child in the next breath.

"If you can be anything in this world be kind"

"I'm teaching my children the most important thing is kindness"

I can think of many other things I'd rather be than kind. Yes of course don't be a twat, don't be deliberately hurtful but there are many situations when it's more important to stand up for yourself, question someone, or do something than 'be kind'

What they basically mean is "please be nice to me and don't call me out when I'm a twat"

Be respectful on the other hand is one I can wholeheartedly get behind.

I never get involved in anything like this nor the 'I know which five of my friends...' blah blah blah.
What has made me laugh today is that two of my work colleagues who have posted the Be Kind thing, one has shared it from the other's page - those two can't abide each other. They work opposite shifts to avoid each other, every day on the morning shift one will lay into the other for being ignorant, lazy, bossy then come the afternoon shift the other one will pronounce her verdict of snidey, moaning, only doing the easiest tasks, always sneaking out early.
Plenty of hypocrisy, not much kindness.

Totally agree. All jumping on the bandwagon of the latest ‘thing’ on Facebook. People need to grow up and get real.

If we take an abusive man for example, should we all be kind to him?

"Poor guy, he was just stressed. He really just needs a hug, better not say anything mean to him"

It wouldn't be 'kind' to his victims.

Your can't be kind to everyone, all the time. Your actions shouldn't be driven by 'kindness'

It seems to me to be all of the ones who AREN'T kind who are posting, telling others to be kind.

One of them took the piss out of my then 4 year old son riding his sister's pink bike, implying that he's gay (or will catch "the gay"). I don't care if he's gay or not but her tone of voice was definitely coming from a nasty place "nice colour".

Then another one posting was involved in a cat fight with another Mum a couple of months ago.

The irony......

And don't get me started on the other one about choosing only the women who would be more fun.

What is wrong with these people? People who I thought had a brain. I am seriously thinking about cutting down my "friends" list.