For contemplating leaving mumsnet?

[thewigglewalk]

In the wake of the death of Caroline Flack, I have realised that enough is enough and I need to reduce the levels of negativity in my life.

I don't want to be part of anything that contributes to the downfall of any individual's mental health.

Not a big thing, but I deleted my daily mail app (I shouldn't have been on there anyway as it a truly disgusting newspaper).

I am also reducing my social media presence.

I have noticed that despite how much we highlight the impact of trolling and words online, mumsnet has far too many posts etc that are bullying and negative.

I don't want to take away how supportive this place is, but for some this is a hub for them to bully and make other people feel small.

Am I over reacting to delete my mumsnet too?

Does anyone else feel the same?

[TruffleShuffles]

See I suppose that’s where people are different @PinkPoutingLilies, I see a post being made on a discussion board to be used as a discussion. Just to mock someone over it doesn’t come into my head. If I thought the post was silly I just wouldn’t comment.

[Inkanta]

What I would miss most on MN - is the humour. Very funny witty folk on here that I find quite grounding - and make me smile

[ssd]

@AmaryllisNightAndDay, exactly!!

[Bluntness100]

I think the op must be still thinking about it, she's still an active member,,,😄

[Friendsofmine]

I think the same OP and over the years with different user names I have probably been a bit short with people compared to real life because I'm multitasking badly.

I wonder if that is part of it for other people?

I also think due to it being a support forum lots of people only post threads when they are having a hard time or need advice etc and therefore it's bound to be skewed towards life's challenges and might bring down your mood.

If I feel low it might pick me up to post or reply but at other times might make me feel lower so maybe just come off it for a while?

[CakeandCustard28]

I think a lot of people feel this way about social media.
NMs though... it’s just a forum. Nobody will miss you if disappear for a couple of months, that’s what I like about this place. There’s no need to post “I’m quitting NMs”.
Yes there’s some nasty comments now and then, but most of it is criticism and that’s not bullying. If it’s effecting you that much, it’s a sign to take a break espically if you feel the need to post things like this.

[Paintedmaypole]

The OP did not post to announce her departure, she posted to ask if other posters think she is being unreasonable or that she has a point, which I think she does. MN can be a pretty nasty and prejudiced place but it can slso be very addictive and amusing. I frequently try to ignore MN for a while but find myself drawn back. There a few nasty posters on this thread who seem to think they have the right to police what other people post. It is a reasonable topic for discussion as MN is probably not a good place for anyone with fragile menal health...and good for you to the posters who are so robust and resilient.

[BlueHarry]

For me Mumsnet has been a mostly positive place, especially found it helpful during times that I have been quite isolated in real life due to moving house and having a new born, giving up work and other things. Of course there'll be some people who are meanies, but overall I think it's a great supportive site. Of course if you want to leave for any reason whatsoever than yanbu. It's your choice entirely.

[Unsureconfused46]

Op, just simply go if mumsnet doesn't suit you. No need to announce it.
I find it very snowflakey and attention seeking when people want to tell everyone they're going. I don't mean this to be mean or nasty, I just don't understand why you want to tell everyone?

[mrshoho]

YANBU but as has been said if you stay away from AIBU (and Brexit) threads it's actually a great forum. I would think twice before ever starting an AIBU thread but elsewhere I've had great support and learnt a lot too!

[Sparklingbrook]

The OP posted for opinions, there was no announcement.

[dottiedodah]

Blueeyedfloozy I wasnt condoning violence ! Just pointing out that Carolines MH meant she was fragile, and had found texts on her BF phone .Clearly she overreacted and shouldnt have hit out at him .My point with the CPS is how many men beat their wives and seem to "get away with it" Yet Caroline who is slim and slight ,was deemed a "risk" and not allowed any contact with him .Seems to me there may be one rule for the boys and quite another for the girls here!

[Paintedmaypole]

The OP did not post an attention seeking leaving announcement, she posted a question as to whether MN was a negative force on mental well being . I don't know if some of the responses are just obtuse or whether you are deliberately setting out to show her that MN is indeed full of snidey posters who think ganging up on someone is funny .

[HuntingCuns]

@ssd I've had posts deleted (normally after too much wine).

I don't have any social media, as I'm too old for all of that malarkey. MN is very different from how it was when I started. Some things are better (less quichey) and others are worse (more impersonal - the other side of the coin, I suppose).

I did feel a bit ashamed when I flounced. I thought people would ... Care.

They didn't.

[Bluerussian]

You're not unreasonable, TheWiggleWalk, but we don't have to become involved in threads if we find the posts upsetting in any way. Better to move on to something else.

In real life, people would not talk to others the way they post or at least not so vehemently and not all in one go. It's easy to get carried away when typing - however it is best not to. We don't know each other though.

If you feel like a break, have a break. Come back refreshed.

[Ludways]

If you feel you're being negatively impacted by MN then by all means leave, it's in your best interests. I personally have no interest in celebrity stuff so never even open the threads that indicate they're about Megan, Caroline etc etc.

What I don't understand is why you would announce this and open yourself up to the negativity you say you're so against. I do think that people should speak out but only those able to take all feedback, positive and negative.

[zonkin]

AIBU has always been a bunfight and not for the faint hearted. There are lots of threads that are really helpful and supportive, as well as lighthearted threads. You don't have to engage with the more combative threads.

People come and go over the years. I've been here for a long time and take time out every now and then but always come back. I remember posting on the pregnancy boards with my eldest who I am now taking out for driving lessons (I feel really old now!!!!).

I enjoy Mumsnet on the whole. I've had lots of support when needed, like to think I helped support others, and have had robust debate and discussion on lots of topics. It's like any other forum really.

[voddiekeepsmesane]

I don't know if some of the responses are just obtuse or whether you are deliberately setting out to show her that MN is indeed full of snidey posters who think ganging up on someone is funny .

Posting on AIBU is going to get some less than happy clappy chappy remarks BUT I think it is doing MN a total disservice to generalise about the site as a whole. There are many many different areas on here that help people

[ilovesooty]

@ssd I'm glad you're still here and posting. Red mist moments can and do happen.

[HuntingCuns]

I do hide all threads to do with Christmas, btw. And I just scroll past anything to do with celebrities or TV, as I couldn't be less interested in either (had never even heard of Caroline Flack).

[Hypergear]

YANBU, unfortunately I find the helpful and funny posts to be a minority on here. (but do exist). Totally bully site most of the time!

[TruffleShuffles]

Why is the OP opening herself up to negativity @Ludways? She’s just started a topic to discuss the negativity on social media and mumsnet. Why shouldn’t she be able to do that without people people mocking her.

She’s not even making a leaving announcement, I’m not sure half the posters even got past the title.

[Pinkyyy]

I haven't read your thread but I'm so glad you made it as I've found out about the flouncers corner and I'm loving reading them all

[adreamofspring]

Hi OP. You’ve convinced me. Not your post but ironically the exact shit you’re trying to avoid: everyone piling on abuse and unoriginal sarky comments. So many bullies in AIBU

[Username109876]

YANBU, if it makes you feel better then it's the right decision, you have to think of your mental health. I think most posters on here are great and give some wonderful advice, but sadly there will always be trolls and people who are just rude. Some threads do go a bit far, look at the drag thread from the other day, the Australia thread, etc.
I think some talk topics are 'kinder' than others for sure.