For contemplating leaving mumsnet?

[thewigglewalk]

In the wake of the death of Caroline Flack, I have realised that enough is enough and I need to reduce the levels of negativity in my life.

I don't want to be part of anything that contributes to the downfall of any individual's mental health.

Not a big thing, but I deleted my daily mail app (I shouldn't have been on there anyway as it a truly disgusting newspaper).

I am also reducing my social media presence.

I have noticed that despite how much we highlight the impact of trolling and words online, mumsnet has far too many posts etc that are bullying and negative.

I don't want to take away how supportive this place is, but for some this is a hub for them to bully and make other people feel small.

Am I over reacting to delete my mumsnet too?

Does anyone else feel the same?

[IHaveBrilloHair]

Oh no, pleeeeeease stay hun xx lol xx

[steff13]

I am not sure what Flouncers Corner is for really. grin It's not like anyone on here is going to beg anyone to stay.

But that's the point of a flounce; the flouncer wants people to convince them to stay. If you want to leave, you can just leave. You don't have to announce it or solicit opinions on it.

[snappycamper]

I thought this was going to be about the ridiculous number of posts here and on social media about how much Caroline flack's death has apparently impacted people who didn't know her

[ChicChicChicChiclana]

Flouncer's Corner is hardly used any more (same could be said of every topic other than AIBU tbh).

People used to use it when you "knew" people's posting names. I used it myself once or twice ... and yet, here I still am!

[thewigglewalk]

I genuinely do not want anyone to beg me to stay...

[Sparklingbrook]

The last two threads started in Flouncers Corner have gone unanswered so it doesn't really work.

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

My top top is to either hide topics like AIBU or just set up favourite topics for subjects you are interested in. For example cats/teenagers/cooking/style and beauty etc etc.

Then you're only engaging with people who have shared interests, and they're not fight clubs like AIBU. You're not going to see much rudeness and fighting on topics like The Litter Tray maybe in The doghouse

YABU to download the Daily Mail in the first place then complain about negativity and bitching, it's like going out in the rain and being surprised to get wet

(I also find the FWR section full of knowledgeable and articulate women, lots of support and solidarity. It's good to have a female dominated space on the Internet. It always amazes me when people think it's some den of iniquity (especially people saying that whilst posting in AIBU)

Hide topics and stick to stuff you're interested in. I'm on a couple of long running threads and they are great, very companionable.

[dustibooks]

I left another forum yesterday for an entirely different reason. Been on there the best part of 10 years. I didn't say anything, I just logged out and I won't be back (waves to the other person who did the same).

OP, why don't you try hiding all the topics that have that sort of stuff on them?

[Kittensinmysupper]

I think you have to have a strong sense of self to be on here....

If anyone has a relationship problem it's immediately 'leave the bastard' ..l no room for discussing the fact that you have a problem that can be resolved. No forward thought that divorce/separation brings its own long term issues especially for dc that will now have to shuttle backwards and forwards to different homes for a decade ... Nat one parent off against the other for a decade, deal with parents dating for a decade .... for an issue that MAY be solvable... but NO !!! LTB without a backward glance because it's Soooo easy ...and 'best' for everyone. (Not)

Yes of course there are relationships that need to end, but people need to look a bit beyond and consider the consequences... strong women , 100% YES !!! but also consider the consequences and does the 'crime' fit the outcome ? Less black and white and more shades of grey needed.

[Kirkman]

I have stayed off Facebook after seeing so many people spout 'it cant have been abuse because he loved her and wanted to be with her' posts from people who clearly have no concept of what its like to be abused.

I do not know whether caroline flack abused her boyfriend or any of her other boyfriends. I wasnt there

But having to see people claim that if people love their partner and stay in a abusive relationship, then its not abuse, makes me fe a but sick tbh. So I am avoiding it

These people will move into something else soon.

[Gingerkittykat]

Please don't go, we will miss you too much. I promise to always be nice if you stay and will do my best to try and tame the vipers nest that is MN.

[zonkin]

Whether you stay or go, Mumsnet will still carry on. If you're not enjoying it then of course leave. It makes no difference to any other posters. Those that feel the same as you will have already left. I don't really see the need for an announcement.

[Sofonisba]

I would say that if you are trying to remove negativity from your life then yes, leaving mumsnet is probably a good idea.

[Supersimkin2]

I thought this would be a thread about the surprise kerfuffle after the death of a minor TV presenter.

The loudest mourners are the loudest bullies, always. Either way no one needs to listen.

[ChardonnaysDistantCousin]

No one can make you be an arsehole, whether here on anywhere else. It's your choice to behave the way you do.

[ChardonnaysDistantCousin]

Not that you do, of course.

[Nothing2doooooo]

Fair enough but not everyone is a shining beacon of positivity - I personally find those people fake and tedious

Tedious is understandable but surely "fake" is a projection from your pov and actually invalidates the point you were trying to make about people not being the same.

[saraclara]

The other forum I post on has a function to hide certain people's posts, which is helpful when you're really not in the mood for whatever it is that brings you down.

And yes, sometimes this place depresses me so much that I wonder why I'm here. But it's a bit like crack. It's so easy to just pick up my phone and check in again.

[1Morewineplease]

Why would you need someone else’s opinion on whether to leave MN or not?
If you’re unhappy with the issues surrounding social media /chat rooms/forums etc... then just leave them.

[bubblesforlife]

Some posters on MN are quite cruel. MN could be kinder. It can be just like tabloids. There are some topics that really set people off, like a post about a wedding or a MIL Perhaps there needs to be a set of new guidelines to protect posters, without impacting the value MN brings people. Aka no nasty comment, while allowing the art of debate, disagreement and discussion, you can disagree without name calling!

[BecauseReasons]

Would have been good to have a Hide Poster option the last few days.

Oooh. Who for?

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

So you want to cut down on negativity and have started a thread that's negative... 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Moomin8]

YABU

only because this is a problem that extends far beyond the realms of Mumsnet.

If people were kind and empathetic generally do you think we'd have the current PM that we do and government?

The UK has become a very selfish place in the last 10 years.

[SerendipitySunshine]

What does any of this have to do with caroline flack? Surely if you want to leave, just leave. You don't need permission.

[FizzyIce]

I don’t think there is “bullying” on here , negative comments ? Yes definitely but people can’t always agree and posters need to realise that coming on to a site like this.
Are you unfair to leave ? Nope ,do what you need to