For contemplating leaving mumsnet?

[thewigglewalk]

In the wake of the death of Caroline Flack, I have realised that enough is enough and I need to reduce the levels of negativity in my life.

I don't want to be part of anything that contributes to the downfall of any individual's mental health.

Not a big thing, but I deleted my daily mail app (I shouldn't have been on there anyway as it a truly disgusting newspaper).

I am also reducing my social media presence.

I have noticed that despite how much we highlight the impact of trolling and words online, mumsnet has far too many posts etc that are bullying and negative.

I don't want to take away how supportive this place is, but for some this is a hub for them to bully and make other people feel small.

Am I over reacting to delete my mumsnet too?

Does anyone else feel the same?

I've done short and medium 'flounces' from MN and also from Facebook, just to give myself a breather. Facebook is unfortunately my main advertising tool, but I now only engage as my business and have hidden or muted a huge swathe of people. I made a concious decision not to load the MN app onto my phone, so I only get involved with MN when I am at home on my PC. I haven't Hidden AIBU (obviously... otherwise I wouldn't have found this thread!) because despite the idiotic threads there are still plenty of Gold ones. OP, best advice is don't delete your account but do turn off notifications and give yourself a week or two. And if/when you come back spend some time in the My Mumsnet bit and Hide any topics that are likely to get on your nerves!

If people were kind and empathetic generally do you think we'd have the current PM that we do and government?
The UK has become a very selfish place in the last 10 years.

Sad but true.

I have the deepest possible sympathy and empathy for the family of Caroline Flack and everyone else who has experienced the hell that is the suicide of someone they love. However....

Saying be kind is too simplistic and doesn't take into account the fact that people who kill themselves are so deeply troubled that dying is seen as their only way out. Being kind isn't enough. We need to recognise mental illness sooner, talk about it more and - I realise that this is controversial - accept that sometimes, for some people, living is harder than dying.

All those people putting statuses etc on Facebook are just virtue signalling. It's easy to say the words, harder to act on them and sometimes kindness isn't what a person needs. Sometimes they need to be given a reality check, criticised, pulled up on their behaviour.

Announcing that you are gojng to leave a particular social media platform is ridiculous and attention seeking. No one cares. If you really care about changing people's attitudes towards and treatment of people who are struggling then surely the best thing to do is to stay on social media and call them out and challenge.

@BlueEyedFloozy It certainly does make sense now. Thanks. I appreciate your taking the time to explain

I suppose if you’re a very well known and liked poster then announcing your departure might give others pause for thought.

I'm not on here very often, don't even know who that poor woman who suicided is, so haven't read the thread,or any others I'm not particularly interested in. I'm mainly here for Bits Playmo people threads when they happen
Suits me!

Of course you are free to leave at any time .But I think its a shame really This is not the DM ,and people on here are mostly fair ,and non judgmental in their comments. People in the public eye are sadly easy click bait for tabloid newspapers ,and this goes with the territory .I felt very upset about Caroline as well . I think it could have been better handled by the CPS too . She was fragile and had obviously got upset about her BF texting another girl .

There’s loads of threads that have little to do with mental health and in which there is no bullying or general nastiness. Take for example my riveting one on trying to find a shade of white paint that wouldn’t look too cold . Got lots of helpful replies and even pictures of peoples walls in their recommended shade of paint. It meant I got a colour I wouldn’t have even tried and am now really pleased with.

There are of course far more interesting threads that also don’t stray into bullyIng, derision and nastiness. There’s s&b, telly addicts, what we are reading, mad ones on a child’s badge that can foretell the future.

If you aren’t get anything out of the site then there’s no point staying of course but not every thread or section is a hotbed if negativity.

There’s a Daily Mail app? 😮 Why on earth would anyone want this? If you have it or read the paper then you are contributing to the negativity and hatred that you’ve suddenly realised that you don’t like. It’s not rocket science.
There are plenty of really useful threads on MN, just hide the nonsense.

I recently had a load of b**es pile on to me in a Mumsnet thread, but honestly it's not the norm. Usually the advice and support the sisters give is amazing.

Which boards do you hang out on? AIBU is always said to be harsher than the Relationships board for instance; you could stick to Relationships or some of the other boards that you find more on the mellow side.

I often feel like this. I'd say there's more negativity than kindness on here. I'm keeping it for now as I enjoy reading and replying to some of the threads and I try not to take bad comments seriously as half the time it's bored people with nothing better to do. It doesn't always represent real life.

There used to be a ‘flouncer’s corner’, has it gone?

Anyway, if you’re the type to take MN very seriously and liable to get upset, I’d be off like a shot.

YANBU, If something is negatively affecting you then you don’t have to deal with it

The numerous threads where people encourage an OP to leave an abusive man and gain her freedom are excellent, and no-one really slags them off, except maybe just gently telling them to get real about what the bloke is like.

Leave, or don’t. YABU to start yet another “oh isn’t MN a terrible place these days” thread. That’s been done to death.

serendipityOp doesn’t seem to be looking for permission ! I read her post as wondering if others felt the same about negativity on here. She used some of the cf threads as examples where negative posts had begun to affect her experience. I thought it a perfectly understandable post and thought provoking.

YANBU Mumsnet brings out the worst in many people and I’ve found it very harsh, with it impacting my mental health at times. I’ll be leaving soon too.

Isn't it 'paws' for thought?

I just searched for flouncers’ corner. Mistyped it as flounder. So too have many. There is a whole flounder community it seems !

Hardly think someone getting called a bit unreasonable by some mumsnetters is quite on a par with the social media abuse caroline flack was getting it. But if you are uber sensitive about it, then perhaps you are right to leave.

Isn't it 'paws' for thought?

Is that a serious question

You take a moment to think about something, why would it have anything to do with animals feet?

Fair enough but not everyone is a shining beacon of positivity - I personally find those people fake and tedious.

I second this. Sometimes life is shite. Sometimes people are arseholes. It's odd to pretend otherwise.

Leaving MN because of the negativity is like me leaving Twitter because of Trump or Morgan, people will always be vile.

However, if you feel that MNs has bought out something in you and you have contributed to the negativity or it is bringing down your mental health, then yes that could be a reason to leave.

What you can do is if you see someone being out of order, you can report to the Mods or just hide the thread

I sometimes find that Mumsnet impacts negatively on me and I have to step away. While there is a lot of good here and I have been fortunate enough to be in receipt of the most amazing support at a dreadful time of my life, I do find that there really are some awful people around. For example, I've just read a thread where a bunch of utter arseholes (in my view), seemed to think it was OK for a woman with her children to be assaulted in the cinema because she sat in the wrong seats. Literally goading the OP, picking apart her post, finding fault in everything. At the end of the day she was assaulted by a man who hurt her. Wrong seats though? Her own fault, apparently. Sickening.

I stick around for the fun threads largely and try to stick to those as much as possible. I think if it's making you miserable, take some time away. Find positivity in your life. No harm in that!

I understand deleting the DM, and I left social media years ago because I don’t find it healthy, but I think it’s unfair to paint mumsnet with the same brush. Yes you will find some harsh comments everywhere, even in real life, but mumsnet also provides a hell of a lot of support for women, something you don’t find in many parts of the internet.

I’ve been threatened with rape, death and violence on other social media apps just for expressing a view, Ive never seen the level of hate here, ever.