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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you want your own snacks in the house you can buy them yourself?

360 replies

notyoursnackbitch · 17/02/2020 15:49

We have two very young DC. I plan and cook all meals, including doing the online food shop. I also work 4 days a week. DH works long hours from home 5 days a week.

He has just stormed out of the kitchen because he "never has any fucking food in this house" after I told him not to eat the snacks I was about to give DC.

AIBU to think at, approaching 40, he can buy his own fucking snacks if he wants them? Am I now everyone's personal snack bitch? And why would he think it's reasonable to eat food that's been bought for our 1 year old?!

OP posts:
AriadnesFilament · 17/02/2020 17:20

Oh, and banana Soreen? Love it. Just a kids snack, my arse 😂

Aureum · 17/02/2020 17:21

there were only two left
Utterly disgusting. How can you stand a man who wants to take food out of his children’s mouths? Most parents would go hungry to feed their kids. He’s greedy, he’s eaten his snacks. I’m afraid I’d buy NO snacks in future. Tell him he’s clearly having problems controlling his behaviour with regard to junk food so you won’t be facilitating his access to it any more.

JigsawsAreInPieces · 17/02/2020 17:22

There's probably always fruit in the bowl if he's genuinely hungry. Hmm
Which I doubt. Most people snacking are doing it out of boredom, not hunger.

We used to buy chocolate biscuits, crisps, KitKat style chocolate bars and scoff them mindlessly at random times then we decided to stop and don't miss them now.

56Marshmallow · 17/02/2020 17:23

I'm with you OP. Who takes food out of their children's mouths? Particularly when there is a shop two minutes away.

coffeeforone · 17/02/2020 17:23

I love pom bears, and soreen!

Can you keep a bigger stock of snacks for everyone? I can't imagine running out of snacks that has a long shelf life to the point that there's 'nothing in the house'

Also adult snacks like nuts, crisps, etc.

gamerchick · 17/02/2020 17:25

pmsl at the handmaidens on this thread

I know man, it's getting worse Hmm

There's a shop nearby if he wants or give him an apple. He doesnt get to eat the kids treats.

Pinkginhelps · 17/02/2020 17:25

Poor poppet. He was clearly suffering a major sugar level crash after guzzling his way through all of his crisps/ sweets/ biccies, thus the big tantrum and desire for more carb loaded crap (includes bananas). Steam him some green veggies with a big, patient smile and serve lovingly to him.

Bluntness100 · 17/02/2020 17:26

She has bought snacks for him that should last all week, but he ate them, the fat, lazy bastard and he can get his own and not now eat the stuff for the kid

That's really unpleasant and unnecessary. 😱

Charis1503 · 17/02/2020 17:27

YABU

Just buy more snacks. If he is a greedy guts hide a pack of biscuits somewhere for when you run out.

Do you label food with stickers on seperate shelves in the fridge?!??!!

I do the food shop in our house and I think its reasonable that dh expects food and snacks that last from one week to the next.

If you are buying enough and he is eating through them in a matter or days treat him like a child amd write on a white board what u have bought him

I.e 7 bags of chrisps
2 packs biscuits
Ect
Then if may pace himself.

I try to buy snacks thst take longer to prepare ( frozen sausage rolls, pop tarts ect
Then he onky eats them if he can be bothered

Pinkginhelps · 17/02/2020 17:27

Love the term "snack bitch" by the way. I plan to steal it when the appropriate moment arises with my teen.

TeddTess · 17/02/2020 17:28

dd deliberately chooses crisps, biscuit bars that she knows dh doesn't like because if they are there then he eats them

we just hide them

but i do buy a couple of packs a week that is fine for dh to eat. 15 bars really should be enough, but they're always gone.

just tell your dh to add what he wants to the online shop and then shut up about it.

frazzledasarock · 17/02/2020 17:28

It’s just an online shop, so why doesn’t he do a massive online food shop then?

Why is the poor ickle man unable to cater for himself. Will his nob fall off if he does an online shop, or pops out to get himself snacks. Or if god forbid he paces out the snacks instead of eating everything within a week?

What were the dc meant to eat if he had eaten their snacks? Was he planning on fixing them some to eat from scratch then?

Or is everyone else meant to go hungry because his big manness needs a fucking snack and can’t be arsed to go to the shops or make something for himself.

KTheGrey · 17/02/2020 17:29

I'm with you OP. You need a badge or t shirt saying "I Am Not Your Snack Bitch."

Normal people can buy their own snacks if need arises.

Nat6999 · 17/02/2020 17:30

I bet if he wanted cans of beer or a bottle of wine he would pop to the shop, what is wrong with him nipping out for whatever he wants. There is only me & ds at home, I do a full week's online shop including basic snack stuff plus things to make sandwiches if either of us are hungry, otherwise we call at the shop on the way home for any extra. If I filled the cupboard with snacks ds would eat the lot in one sitting due to his Autism & never feeling full.

BlueEyedPersephone · 17/02/2020 17:30

YANBU
He can source his own snacks if he's eaten a weeks worth, he works from home he is lazy. Or needs to do the online shop himself, eating his kids food is shit.

TheReef · 17/02/2020 17:30

Next online shopping buy him his own soreen, some Pom bears, iced jems and Haribo.

Blackandgreenteas · 17/02/2020 17:31

Yanbu at all! What weird replies your are getting!

Yes he should just ask for more stuff for himself in the shop, or top up himself if he runs out. You work 4 days a week so your proportion of the house hold tasks shouldnt be that much more than his!

ElderAve · 17/02/2020 17:33

You only go back two generations an "the man of the house" would have been given priority over the food. Obviously that needed to change but it's reached a ridiculous extreme when there's food in the house that the adults aren't allowed to eat because it's designated for the children.

Molly2017 · 17/02/2020 17:34

I can guarantee you this isn’t just about the snacks. Massive over action in his part.

Kubo · 17/02/2020 17:37

Wtf is going on with this thread?!

“Just order more when you do the online shop”

He was asked what he wanted when she did the shop. OP ordered that plus all the other food that would be required. He ate all of the snacks he had asked for. Is she supposed to have seen into the future and known he would want more?! She gets shouted at for not letting him take food she was about to give to the children. And it’s somehow her fault. Should she have just let him eat it and gone to buy more for the children? Or, perhaps he could have gone to the shops to buy something for himself?

Popuppippa · 17/02/2020 17:38

Sorry OP - no answers. I'm too busy ROTFLing at your username.

I am SO going to use this with my teen horde plague of locusts sons and their friends Grin #notyoursnackbitch

Northernsoullover · 17/02/2020 17:38

YANBU! I've given up buying snacks because my teens rip through them. I give them money to go to the shop. If my teenagers can get off their backsides to buy their crap then a grown arse man can.

EuroMillionsWinner · 17/02/2020 17:40

YANBU! The level of enabling and dick pandering you see here is why so many are in shitty relationships with sexist arses. You buy him more 'snacks' he'll just hoover them up and blame you anyhow because he finds fending for himself and his needs as your job because you are female.

On MN everyone just has endless pots of money to enable one person to hoover up all the food because they're too fucking lazy and entitled to make something for themselves, cook and clean it up or see to their own provisions or exercise self-control.

I have teens. They know damn well we don't have a bottomless pit of money and know to make themselves beans on toast or pasta with Marmite or similar to fill up on rather than biscuits and crisps.

Tell him to go and get some more if he runs out before the next shop.

Popuppippa · 17/02/2020 17:41

I'm already a 36 pack of crisps plus various kettle chips down since SUNDAY. Yes, that's right, less than 24 hours. Sorry for the threadjack ...

AriadnesFilament · 17/02/2020 17:42

Is this a long running bone of contention by any chance? Might you be deliberately refusing to add enough to the online shop to prove a point? Might he be digging his heels in because he doesn’t see why he should go to the shop in between online deliveries? Might this be the hill you’ve picked to die on as the figurative straw in a list of him being a bit useless around the house, in which case it isn’t really about what’s in the cupboard?

Whatever’s going on he shouldn’t have got the arse and shouted and snapped, you should order enough on the weekly shop, he should be capable of going to shop himself, you shouldn’t have snapped at him about ‘stealing’ food....... - the ‘he shoulds’ and ‘you shoulds’ could go on for a while, and the fixes to this one issue are really simple because it’s really not that big of a thing.

For you both to react in such a way as to make it such a huge issue suggests that this is a symptom of something bigger.

I await a drip feed.

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