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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you want your own snacks in the house you can buy them yourself?

360 replies

notyoursnackbitch · 17/02/2020 15:49

We have two very young DC. I plan and cook all meals, including doing the online food shop. I also work 4 days a week. DH works long hours from home 5 days a week.

He has just stormed out of the kitchen because he "never has any fucking food in this house" after I told him not to eat the snacks I was about to give DC.

AIBU to think at, approaching 40, he can buy his own fucking snacks if he wants them? Am I now everyone's personal snack bitch? And why would he think it's reasonable to eat food that's been bought for our 1 year old?!

OP posts:
ChicChicChicChiclana · 17/02/2020 16:40

What an arse, storming about and swearing because he hasn't got any snacks! Looks like you've got more than 1 toddler in the house.

I hope he's gone out to the shop for his precious snacks and calmed the fuck down and APOLOGISES when he gets back.

Yanbu.

Original poster
notyoursnackbitch · 17/02/2020 16:40

@HavelockVetinari This is how I feel. DCs are 1 and 3. The snack in question was banana Soreen, hardly an "adult" snack, I already had them out of the cupboard and there were only two left.

For context, we have a cupboard with food in just for DC.

He has absolutely no input with food other than if I ask him when I'm doing the weekly shop - if I didn't do the shop it wouldn't get done because it wouldn't even cross his mind.

Am I really expected to provide food for everyone all of the time? If I want something and we don't have it in, I walk two minutes to the shop and buy it.

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 17/02/2020 16:40

I agree he should have a conversation about it, not storm out the kitchen swearing because he wasn't allowed a fromage frais and a cutted up grape.

ChicChicChicChiclana · 17/02/2020 16:40

pmsl at the handmaidens on this thread Hmm

AutumnCrow · 17/02/2020 16:42

Ah, banana Soreen. Point still stands.

Bluntness100 · 17/02/2020 16:42

Eh, if you're doing the online food shop just order more snacks if you're not ordering enough. Why would you think he has to buy them seperate? Or that you're his "snack bitch" which is the oddest thing to think.

If you don't want to do the food shop don't. Ask him to. If you do wish to then buy sufficient. It really shouldn't be this hard.

Original poster
notyoursnackbitch · 17/02/2020 16:42

@bigchris oh yes, that's exactly what I'm like and exactly what I have described.

OP posts:
Bluetrews25 · 17/02/2020 16:43

Is it that the food (sorry but cannot bear the s word) is not lasting, or that he's being a greedy so and so by scoffing a week's worth in a couple of days? Or do you not buy anything so there is less temptation to resist?
You don't sound very enamoured with him, OP, are there other problems too?
It might do him good to get up and go for a walk to the nearby shop.

BarbaraofSeville · 17/02/2020 16:43

Just buy more snacks for him, not really a big deal

And here we have it, the 'just buy more' crew. Because no-one ever has to stick to a budget or protect the family from greedy people who will literally hoover up anything snacky the second it enters the house.

The big deal about 'just buying more' is that money is finite, the greedy people take more than their share, leaving nothing for anyone else, and endless crisps and biscuits are not healthy.

FamilyOfAliens · 17/02/2020 16:43

Why would you not let your husband eat food that's in the house?

Read the OP’s posts. She buys biscuits and crisps just for him. He’s eaten them all already, hence why he chose to eat the snacks bought for his children.

Bluntness100 · 17/02/2020 16:45

Am I really expected to provide food for everyone all of the time

What do you feel is the point of the online food shop if not to provide the food?

Honestly just stop doing it if you resent it.

sleepyhead · 17/02/2020 16:46

How much should be considered sufficient?

What if he's one of those people who'll just endlessly snack if it's there? Does she have to be on high snack alert at all times in case this able-bodied adult male runs low on snacks and she's not around to pop off an online shop to satiate his snacking urge?

Or, he could go to the shop. It's not hard.

iklboo · 17/02/2020 16:46

He must be desperate if he's prepared to eat Pombears..

I bloody love Pombears. Especially the salt & vinegar ones.

Bluetrews25 · 17/02/2020 16:47

Give him a snickers - he's not himself when he's hangry.

RedskyAtnight · 17/02/2020 16:49

The big deal about 'just buying more' is that money is finite, the greedy people take more than their share, leaving nothing for anyone else, and endless crisps and biscuits are not healthy.

But OP's solution is to tell DH to buy his own snacks? So doesn't sound like she's concerned about money or his health. So "just buy more" does solve the problem.

Bluntness100 · 17/02/2020 16:49

It takes a split second to change the quantity from one pack to two or three of biscuits on an online shop

I really don't get the angst. If the op resents doing it and wants him to buy snacks for himself from the shop, then this seems petty to me, and slightly irrational. 🤷‍♀️

drogon1 · 17/02/2020 16:50

Im with the OP here. It's not her job to make sure an able bodied and fully grown man has some nibbles in.

I do our online shop and constantly ask dh what he wants and he never gives much input so when he moans when we've not got something specific in I tell him to get his arse to the shop. I'm happy to meal plan and I take care of all meals and snacks for DD but I'm not making a stockpile for him too for when he gets peckish if he can't be bothered to tell me what he wants in when I'm ordering.

Maybe your DH needs to write you a list of what he wants in next time you so a shop, I'm guessing after today he's in no position to spit the dummy out and say no.

AutumnCrow · 17/02/2020 16:52

It's not healthy for anyone to eat shitloads of biscuits and crisps. I bet he could have made himself something.

EmeraldShamrock · 17/02/2020 16:52

Yabu. Snacks are vital add some non perishable goods to the list, if he is away they're not wasted.

Juliette20 · 17/02/2020 16:54

She has bought snacks for him that should last all week, but he ate them, the fat, lazy bastard and he can get his own and not now eat the stuff for the kids.

partofthepeanutgallery · 17/02/2020 16:55

I'm with you, OP. If my DH blows through the snacks and treats I bought for him, he can put on his shoes and walk 2 minutes down the street to a local shop. Or pop into a store on his lunch break or after work. Like I have to. We both work roughly 5 days a week and have 3 kids.

pelirocco123 · 17/02/2020 16:55

How often do you shop ? And whens your next shop ...meal plan is the answer hide any snacks so they can be dolled out to kids as per plan and buy more bananas !

MT2017 · 17/02/2020 16:56

Sheesh. Wait til your DC are teenagers, they won't be sticking to their own cupboard of food then Hmm

RhiWrites · 17/02/2020 16:57

I think I’d approach this by saying “hey babe, you said you didn’t have enough snacks in the house. I’d bought biscuits and crisps but they were gone already. What snacks shall we get in the weekly food shop? Let’s agree how much to get now and how often to top up so you don’t get hangry enough to want a baby yogurt!”

He should be an equal stakeholder in deciding what to get and not put it all on you to decide. Equally you shouldn’t have to be the snack police.

pelirocco123 · 17/02/2020 16:57

54Juliette20

She has bought snacks for him that should last all week, but he ate them, the fat, lazy bastard and he can get his own and not now eat the stuff for the kid

Wow quite the conclusion you have drawn from this

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