To think if you want your own snacks in the house you can buy them yourself?

[notyoursnackbitch]

We have two very young DC. I plan and cook all meals, including doing the online food shop. I also work 4 days a week. DH works long hours from home 5 days a week.

He has just stormed out of the kitchen because he "never has any fucking food in this house" after I told him not to eat the snacks I was about to give DC.

AIBU to think at, approaching 40, he can buy his own fucking snacks if he wants them? Am I now everyone's personal snack bitch? And why would he think it's reasonable to eat food that's been bought for our 1 year old?!

If he's hungry he can buy something.

Or you know, make something. Beans on toast, a tin of soup, a bowl of cereal, etc etc.

Some v v un-enlightened responses here.

Op is shopping for meals and stocking up with some snacks between, she is not running a cafe.

Of course if the snack extension (or Snack Shack, as I like to call it) ever runs out of crisps and biscuits, the hubby does tend to huff and puff and blow the house down.

So there might need to be a Snack Bunker as well. Just be be sure.

YANBU. My DH can be a bit like this, and we've had some kind of similar arguments in the past. There'd never be enough snacks for DH, even if we lived on Tesco's biscuit aisle, if they're there he just eats them. So arguments have come up occasionally when he has ploughed through enough stuff for a week in a weekend, and then tried to eat my things I'm saving for packed lunches for the week, or doesn't like what I've bought for myself etc. I'm really surprised you're getting such a hard time, OP.

I'm really surprised you're getting such a hard time, OP
I'm not. The perceived need for a continual supply of snacks 24/7 seems to be a common theme on mumsnet.

It's depressing to see how badly some couples communicate. Clearly there's a misalignment in terms of how many snacks are being purchased and how many are necessary for the week/fortnight/month. Work out that figure and someone takes willing responsibility for buying them. No one bitches when they run out, or if they do, you recalculate what's necessary.

If OP thinks her husband is greedy and is eating too much (which I suspect is the case) that's another matter for discussion.

Both of you should grow up tbh.

The perceived need for a continual supply of snacks 24/7 seems to be a common theme on mumsnet.

But only if you're a man. If you're a woman and you're snacking on only crisps and biscuits you get called a lazy selfish cow and given a list of snacks you can make, or more usually told off for snacking or you face a nearly immediate death from some horrific disease caused directly by her profligate and greedy lifestyle.

Women get told that society has lost sight of what healthy portion sizes are

Or 'I couldn't possibly eat all that!' 'So much processed food!' 'The cost, why can't you just eat a piece of fruit?'

@Lycidas could you sound any more pompous and patronising do you think?

Doesn't really work like that does it. Unless you have some sort of under lock and key rationing system, the snacks will go early in the week won't they and therefore run out, then you're back with the same issues

Your life would be hugely easier if you dumped the tantrumming cock on legs since he would have to parent his offspring 50% of the time, and you wouldn’t have to clean up his clothes, mess, pander to him, cater to him, listen to his shite, and could just live your life. The fact you’ve allowed this disgusting behaviour to begin with is appalling. Did he do fuck all before you chose to have more than one kid with him? Time for him to have consequences. The food isn’t the issue, this is just yet another thread about a woman tolerating being treated like scum just to keep some dude in the house, while more kids grow up thinking this is normal or acceptable. Grim.

since he would have to parent his offspring 50% of the time,

No, he wouldn't. Plenty refuse to take their kids at all and they are not compelled to do so

You are not being unreasonable
Did none of you read the post? They BOTH work and op plans all the meals
Of course if he requests things as you are doing the order it’s no hassle...the problem here is him complaining about there not being enough snacks for him. Go get your own, ugh I feel your rage on this one

Then he’d have to pay his ex wife to provide childcare and lodging for his offspring. And, as a bonus, they wouldn’t be burdened with his shite existence in the home, demanding that he be laundered, catered, shagged, soothed.

So you plan what's needed for the children and for meals for you all, you shop for it and get it in along with anything he asks for. He thinks of some stuff he wants for the week, but not enough and then expects to dip into the stuff that is already earmarked because it's something you will then have to go out of your way to replenish and means no effort at all for him. I can totally see why you have a cupboard for DC's food when he has that self-centred attitude.

YANBU.

OP I mean, if you enjoy and cherish this farce of a marriage, by all means, keep showing it as ‘normal’ to the kids, and get your shit husband to take on full responsibility for planning, buying and serving all food. No pitiful excuses about how he ‘couldn’t because he just doesn’t think about’ whatever, it’s now his job. Remove yourself from the equation. If he neglects his kids, that’s a criminal offence.

I'm not. The perceived need for a continual supply of snacks 24/7 seems to be a common theme on mumsnet.

Yes indeed. See also the parents who sincerely believe their children can't make it home from school without a snack to eat before they're through the school gates.

It's depressing to see how badly some couples communicate. Clearly there's a misalignment in terms of how many snacks are being purchased and how many are necessary for the week/fortnight/month. Work out that figure and someone takes willing responsibility for buying them. No one bitches when they run out, or if they do, you recalculate what's necessary.

Tried that with ex. He'd eat a multi pack of crisps in a couple of days. Next shop I'd buy more than the week before. He ate them in a couple of days. Rinse & repeat. And it was always MY fault that he'd run out and he'd also NEVER go and buy his own 'because he worked'. I worked longer hours but no, my job to work out the shopping or 'know what he wanted'. Then he'd eat mine in front of me telling me I didn't deserve any because I was selfish and hadn't thought of him.

I dont think you're being unreasonable. I do the shopping list for family food, my husband put it online. We both have access to the app / website and we both add things that we want for ourselves - snacks, alcohol etc. Why cant he ask you to add more snacks or add them himself or go and buy some. Its unreasonable to expect you to anticipate what he is going to eat without him telling you

"See also the parents who sincerely believe their children can't make it home from school without a snack to eat before they're through the school gates.*
Quite true. On another thread I said it's ridiculous that some adults seem to need to guzzle their take out coffees and snack whilst perusing the shops, only to be told that people lead very busy and hectic lives and as a result need to eat on the go.
I'm still not entirely sure that the world would end if someone refrained from eating a bag of crisps in a shop, buy apparently so. If they don't have endless snacks they'll die of starvation.

OP... your H is an arse. Time to go on strike. YANBU. My DP acted like this, I’d tell him to fuck right off.

t's depressing to see how badly some couples communicate. Clearly there's a misalignment in terms of how many snacks are being purchased and how many are necessary for the week/fortnight/month. Work out that figure and someone takes willing responsibility for buying them. No one bitches when they run out, or if they do, you recalculate what's necessary.

It’s depressing that you ignore the fact that the DH chose and said what he wanted to OP, it was ordered and he finished it all up without saying anything. He works from HOME. He should know more than her if HE needs more snacks since he’s the one eating them. OP isn’t a mind reader and her dh has legs. He can easily take two minutes to hit the shop instead of complaining because there isn’t any snacks he wanted because he couldn’t be arsed to get them himself or ask OP if she could on her way home.

Are you saying OP should also make sure he has enough on top of all the other things she does despite him being in the house all day with said snacks and being a few minutes away from a shop?

What’s even worse, is that there is other things he could make that would take a few minutes to do instead of throwing a tantrum because he ate all his snacks. He still could head down to the shop, but chooses not to due to his own laziness.

If she was a SAHP, some of you would be saying there is little excuse for her not having it stocked, yet OP works, did as requested and she is in the wrong and needs to grow up while her dh works from home so is there all day and is expected not to be able to go to a shop that is 2 minutes away?

Wtf.

Don’t be silly @AutumnCrow, the OP can’t build an extension, extension building is a job for a MANLY-MAN with a PENIS!

When we do a shop we ask each other who wants what

When we do a shop we ask each other who wants what
That's what we do. Whoever does the shop that week asks and, perhaps amazingly for this thread, we also notice if we run out of things the other likes and get a little more the following week.