To think if you want your own snacks in the house you can buy them yourself?

[notyoursnackbitch]

We have two very young DC. I plan and cook all meals, including doing the online food shop. I also work 4 days a week. DH works long hours from home 5 days a week.

He has just stormed out of the kitchen because he "never has any fucking food in this house" after I told him not to eat the snacks I was about to give DC.

AIBU to think at, approaching 40, he can buy his own fucking snacks if he wants them? Am I now everyone's personal snack bitch? And why would he think it's reasonable to eat food that's been bought for our 1 year old?!

I do the online shop for fruit, veg, meat, meal ingredients basically. I then handover my phone to him to add any bits he wants. He's much better at picking out lunch and snack items, but he's useless at making sure we have enough actual nutrients in the house.

We each spend about 10m on the app, and everyone gets what they want - or at least they have the opportunity to.

(though I do leave the room if he starts interrogating why I chose which particular brand of coffee when another is on offer, which type of tomato I picked - can't be arsed with that level of collaboration!)

I would suggest:
It is not my fucking fault there are no snacks you want to eat left in the house. You can either take over the online shop or I will keep doing it BUT I’m no longer buying any snacks for you. I’ve cleared a cupboard, any snacks you buy for yourself can go there and I won’t touch them, wholly your responsibility. Choose a or b, now. If you choose a and don’t responsibly ensure we have suitable food to feed our children then I need to reconsider the whole relationship, because I have two small children, not three. You’re an adult, a husband and a father. Act like it.
End.
If he were single there would never be anything to eat in the house he didn’t but. He obviously doesn’t religiously hoover and take the kids to the park and wash the dishes ie pull his weight, and you’re not his mum.

Make him buy his own. He’s old enough. My husband has recently decided to become a vegan. I said fine but you buy and cook it all yourself. I’m sitting back watching how long it’s going to last.

Another freakin’ stupid post. How old are you???

Some people can't read......She did buy bloody snacks he just ate them all!!!!

Yanbu

I totally get this.

It’s bloody tedious planning and shopping for everyone. It’s enraging to have the planned stuff hoovered up by an adult when you are staring at an empty box which was supposed to feed kids until next shop. It means having to wing it and do more shopping and more thinking.

Then have the adult who never does any planning or shopping have a hissy fit because tiny kids are having the snack bought for them because he wanted it after he’s eaten all the snacks he requested for the shopping period?! That’s awful behaviour.

I’ve had to run out in the morning after finding out a grown adult has eaten all the rolls and cold meat at some point during the night. No fucking thought of oh I should make sure that kids have lunch food.

He lives on his own now, for a million similar behaviours that involve never ever thinking about anyone but himself.

Am I really expected to provide food for everyone all of the time?

Well since your set up is that you do the shopping, then yes, you are.

I'm just getting more and more worked up. YANBU OP. This is a perfect example of the "mental load"

You do the meal planning, the online shopping, the remembering what everyone will and won't eat and he acts like that?!

Why are his snacks YOUR responsibility?! It's utter bullshit as is his reaction. You've got two children, not three.

YANBU OP
I can’t believe how many posters seem to think you should be chasing around after your husband’s snacking whims.
My husband loves a snack and will stare at a cupboard/fridge full of ingredients complaining that there’s nothing to eat. Grow up!!!

YANBU OP - in fact how about you take one of the PPs suggestions and hand it all over to him for a month?

YANBU and YANHSB.

Tell him to stop being a selfish lazy bastard and go to the shop.

As you stated you do literally everything else and you ARE buying snacks but the greedy bastard is eating it all.

He's too old to be acting like a spoilt toddler. Tell him so and tell him if he doesn't get his shit together he will be cooking his own food and washing his own clothes until he learns some bloody manners.

CF.

I support Op But some posts suggesting op won’t let DH eat in his own house I don’t think it is about letting him eat food in the House? Op says the snacks were for their one year old, I don’t think Any adult would eat Organix and Ella’s Kitchen snacks, only if I was desperate and out with my DC 💙

This marriage ain't lasting that's for sure.

Agreed. Esp as he works from home.

Hate the snacking thing

If he wants to eat crap outside of meal times, get him to go the 2 mins up the road and get it himself

Anything else is stupid pandering, especially as he's eaten his way through the load you did get already

Classic being the woman means you're responsible for and blamed for everybloodything

Let him have what’s in there, then make note of what snacks he would like when you do the next grocery trip. I do the groceries and the cooking. I always ask if there’s anything he’d like me to get. I also get snacks the kids like. That way, everyone’s happy.

She DID ask.

To be honest, Harvest, I don't think the OP's asking for Stepford tips at this juncture.

I do all the online shopping, but OH also has my login so when a shop is coming up I remind him and he just adds anything extra he fancies at the time. He’d probably pop to the shop across the road if there was anything additional he fancied, and at the same time he’d ask me if I want anything. If he ate the last organic oaty bar that was bought for DC2 I wouldn’t be impressed, but as their snacks taste a bit like cardboard he probably wouldn’t.

Well since your set up is that you do the shopping, then yes, you are.

The fact that she does an online shop once a week doesn't mean that she is responsible for all the shopping though. There is no reason why he can't contribute to shopping as well.

Hahaha! Had a good laugh about this n read to son and partner.... you are not being unreasonable! I buy that many snacks.... I have to make 5 packed lunches everyday! I am constantly hiding snacks to make sure I have myself covered for lunches... my latest cunning place was the dryer ( which incidentally has had the plug cut off by whirlpool OVER a month ago as it has been recalled as dangerous... and I STILL have had no contact from company regarding replacement ) God I’m everyone’s snack Bitch n all

I find it bizarre that some posters think that if you do an online food shop you are entirely responsible for making sure that everybody has every food they could desire at all times.

I find it bizarre that some posters think that if you do an online food shop you are entirely responsible for making sure that everybody has every food they could desire at all times

AND be psychic to know that person has already eaten all the snacks bought for them.

Mumgonenuts2020 it was banana Soreen which some people actually think is edible. But it was also the last snack available for the DC.