To be this upset over Caroline Flack?

[RA890]

I just can't stop thinking about it. Has really knocked me sideways. Been sort of just floating around feeling weird about it all weekend.

Anyone else??

I don't know what it was she was going on trial for? I don't use Facebook or watch the news really. Is this why she did what she did, scared of going on trial?

I think it incredibly sad when anyone makes the decision to take their own life and it’s something that cuts very close to my family and I. Her specific reasons will probably remain forever her own now and we’ll never know for sure, and why should we know? We didn’t know her.
I do also find it incredibly sad that people can be violently assaulted in their own homes and feel unable to stand by their statement, for whatever reason, whether that be misplaced loyalty, love etc. Having been beaten up by a partner by the past, more than once, and standing by him every time, I understand and am not naive enough to think that a withdrawn complaint equals innocence. I also choose to believe the victim wherever I can, and so I have very conflicted feelings about the whole awful situation.
Maybe it’ll come out that she is innocent, maybe it won’t. Maybe she’ll be vindicated (too late), maybe she won’t. No one is a winner in this.
It’s just a hideous situation all round, but if anything at all can be learned from it, let’s hope it is.

@YappityYapYapShe was charged with assaulting her boyfriend boyfriend wanted to drop charges but i think police/ CPS wanted to continue to trial. I also read might not be true that there was bodycam footage of caroline in a distressed state,the trial was due to start in march.

I’m Upset , purely because also having MH struggles and I was
Wondering if something bad would happen to her. So when it actually did I was like
‘Fuck’ - she did it . She killed the pain

Rest in peace

Ant didn't assault his partner

No but he could have easily killed an innocent person. Drink driving is as bad. I like Ant, I'm glad he got the support to turn his life around.

I think it is very sad they she took her own life. I feel sad about a lot of things so it's not just Caroline. I spoke to my best friends after and we all said we hoped if one of us was so low that we could help each other. I think a lot of people are sad because it makes them think about their best friends and siblings. There are some harsh comments on here.

I don't know what it was she was going on trial for? I don't use Facebook or watch the news really. Is this why she did what she did, scared of going on trial?

She was going on trial because she was a domestic abuser and even though the partner didn’t want to press charges the CPS had enough evidence of her guilt to peruse. It is sad that she killed herself however I genuinely think people would be acting differently if she was a he. Not sure this is a great message to be sending out sons.

I also feel very sad about Caroline’s death. I don’t think there has to be two separate camps here, people who are sad and have sympathy, and people who have none because she allegedly abused her partner.

There was clearly evidence for the cps to bring this to trial and she had to except that and take whatever punishment that was given, but the way some people are going on is as if her taking her own life was a fit punishment.

She has taken an absolute battering from the press, everyday people on social media and also some of her own peers. It was relentless, and as other people have said she hasn’t had it easy because she’s a woman, Chris Brown didn’t get this sort of hounding, his career hardly took a hit.

its very sad....i didnt know much about her private life, but i always thought she looked like she had it all

I cried. I feel so desperately sad. I think even my adult children were surprised by my reaction.

I genuinely think people would be acting differently if she was a he

No, would still feel sad. Then I love men and in my world they are equal people.

Feeling suicidal is not mutually exclusive to being an abusive person. People with mental health issues can commit crime, this may be a factor. Even if it was just an impulsive, one-off mistake.

Caroline wasn’t perfect, no one is. If she did hurt her partner, she deserved the same application of the justice system as anyone else. She didn’t deserve to die over it, but I don’t think the CPS should have dropped the investigation just because she felt suicidal. That’s a slippery slope, especially when applied to all other offenders.

Suicide is complicated and very final. There’s no singular reason for Caroline’s death, nor is there anyone to specifically “blame”, nor are there necessarily “lessons” to be learnt - even though this may make us feel better as it makes their death have a purpose almost. We want answers but again, suicide is very final.

I don't watch Love island but i heard Ian Stirlings tribute on tv thismorning it was gut wrenching he has lost his friend!

@RA890 Yes! Feel exactly the same. So utterly devastating. It seems she was petrified about the upcoming trial and having to deal with all the personal events of that night in the public eye.

I once had a terrible experience with the CPS and was facing trial much like Caroline (different reasons though). I was completely innocent but at one point all I could think about was suicide. At that point in my life that was the only way out and the only way to avoid the public hearing about my personal conversations etc

No one will really ever know why she did it but my heart bleeds for her. I feel like she was condemned by the papers and a lot of the public without even facing a trial first. Seeing some of the posts on Fathers 4 Justice was so upsetting. Whatever happened to innocent before proven guilty!

Anyway, an absolutely devastating loss and you have every right to feel sad. And don't listen to anyone who says you shouldn't be upset about someone you don't know. You are obviously an person with a lot of empathy and that's lovely.

There was also a sense of her being a bit of a maverick and not doing what other women her age were 'supposed' to do which I admired and respected

Really? You admire and respect a 31 year old who dates a 17 year old or who is charged with assaulting their partner?

I'm a mental health nurse on an acute psychiatric ward. I see suicidal people every day and have had patients kill themselves.
A couple of patients have really stuck in my minds and I will never forget them or the way they died.
You could say I have very thick skin because of the horrendous things I've seen in my job.

But weirdly, I feel really upset over Caroline Flack too! I think it's because she seemed so bubbly and it came as such a shock. She obviously had some mental health issues and felt she couldn't get past the assault charges which is very sad.

I don't like the media simplifying the reasons for her ending her life for example 'it was the media's fault' or 'it was the CPS's fault'.

The CPS were right to continue to uphold the charges, this is done to protect victims of domestic violence from withdrawing charges which is very common.

Mental health should not be simplified, she chose to take her own life, however much she was hounded by the press, nobody 'made' her do it.

Just seems such a waste of a life and I think she could have got past her problems with the proper support.

Really? You admire and respect a 31 year old who dates a 17 year old or who is charged with assaulting their partner?

That isn’t what she said or anything remotely like it.

Sad though it is when someone chooses to take their own life, I feel as though we are all glossing over the fact that this women assaulted a defenceless, sleeping person WITH A WEAPON!!!!

She deserved to be scrutinized for her reprehensible actions, and the fact she seems to garner more sympathy than admonishment feels like a sexist double standard. Were it reversed I don't imagine there would be a similar outpouring of grief for the dearly departed.

If you rely on the media to make You don't be surprised when the same media tries to break you. Those who live by the sword, die by the sword!

I swear there was a thread on here recently where many posters were insisting that it was normal for a 29 year old man to date a 17 year old? Certainly wasn’t the uproar that’s present here

I swear there was a thread on here recently where many posters were insisting that it was normal for a 29 year old man to date a 17 year old?

Yes I think it was because a woman’s ex’ stepson was 29 and dating a 17 year old and her DD was 17 and she was worried. Cue lots of ‘I dated an guy xx years older when I was xx (young) age’

I still feel sad and I’m not really sure what to do with it, I’m not on social media or reading the coverage because that’s part of what upset me so much, the way the media handled it and the way she was hounded, the made up stories and the photo leaking etc. I’ve never felt this way about a celebrity death and I’m not sure why this has affected me so much except I suppose that I have messed up and made mistakes and bad choices in life and got horribly low and feel lucky I got the chance to repair and move on from them.

I feel the same S you, OP. I just WISH she hadn't done it, or that I or someone had said or done something that was just enough to stop her. I think she's a very public, well covered example of something I feel very sad about generally. I've been close to taking my own life before which I think is another reason I am so sad about it because I am so happy I didn't do it now. She just seemed like a lovely, funny, loving lady and she seemed to have lots of people who loved her. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think she might have thought she was hated or a failure or had no way of coming back from such a low time

Been feeling sad about Caroline since I found out Sunday morning. Maybe although I didn’t know her, I knew her in who she was as a tv personality I feel some guilt as if she was someone in my personal life.

Just watched her videos on YT of her strictly routines and it killed me seeing how happy she was and how things turned out for her, who could of seen it 😔

It’s so sad. I wish she’d of realised she could of come back from this!

However wrong domestic abuse is, as her partner wouldn't support prosecuting it & she'd self harmed & expressed suicidal ideation at the scene, (& was suicidal again, 2days before she died, with a Paramedic visit ) surely they could have put a proviso to not pursue, if she saw her GP & sought counselling & anger management therapy . I'm not surprised the thought of being seen on bodycam footage "distraught, covered in blood from cuts to her hand & in a state of undress" was utterly humiliating, when she already was vulnerable MH wise & had been, as far back as Strictly. Also, on scene, she said "I did it", didn't try to deny or minimise as is common DV tactic so this was a very grey area to me, where discretion needed using .

Yes you are being unreasonable. I take that you are a grown woman and I also take it that you never met CF. I also take it that your also more than happy to ignore the serious DV allegations made against her from 2 ex partners. So yes you are being unreasonable.

I don't think csi that's how it works as she wasn't guilty at that point - The police investigate, the cps decide if they prosecute and then the trial verdict relies upon , I think, any mitigating evidence like state of mind - I'm sure judges can ask for pre sentencing reports. Plus can't you be found not fit to stand trial?

I think a lot is being made of social media and people are putting her death down to trolling, which is weird as she also had substantial allegations to face which would have been terrifying I imagine and I have a lot of sympathy for anyone facing consequences of actions so publicly

@Noeuf Meanwhile my sympathy rests with the victims of domestic abuse.