To be this upset over Caroline Flack?

[RA890]

I just can't stop thinking about it. Has really knocked me sideways. Been sort of just floating around feeling weird about it all weekend.

Anyone else??

YANBU... in my opinion because I feel the same way. I didn't know her, wouldn't even say I followed her career closely or was a fan but this has hit me hard. I keep crying randomly and I'm not even much of a cry-er generally.

As I've said to others already, I always got an overwhelming sense of warmth and fun from her whenever I saw her appear on anything or do an interview. There was also a sense of her being a bit of a maverick and not doing what other women her age were 'supposed' to do which I admired and respected but unfortunately I feel is what made her a frequent target for unrelenting abuse from trolls and unscrupulous so-called 'journalists'.

Like many others who never met her either, I've had this visceral feeling of sadness since hearing about her taking her own life and how much she was struggling with all the negative attention and trolling. I feel weird that I'm so affected by it but I'm just so saddened by her death and the depths of hopelessness she must have felt.

I know suicide is an everyday occurrence, in my last job we heard about suicides on a daily basis and although I wasn't dealing with the fallout 'on the ground' so to speak I was upset by some of the graphic details we heard about the nature of many but I've never been so upset to hear about someone's suicide than Caroline's. I don't know why but her downfall and particular set of circumstances combined with everything playing out so publicly I think has hit me like a ton of bricks. She was also an animal lover like me and all of the photos with her pets absolutely break my heart.

It’s sad that a young woman felt the need to end her life. It really is. But I don’t see how anyone can be blamed. Someone on here mentioned that more needs to be done with mental health. Maybe so, but no amount of money in the world stops even rich celebrities from suicide. No one can ever foresee what someone may or may not do.
The mind is complex.
She was a grown adult who due to being a celebrity was in the public eye for a legal case, ultimately ending her career atleast in the short term.
The CPS has a job to do, they couldn’t keep CF under 24 hour supervision could they? They were not to know what awful fate was to become of CF.

She was accused so innocent until proven otherwise.

Her death resonates with so with so many as she had a life so many hanker after: celebrity, lauded, in the public eye. Yet, her frailties were also in the public eye and she was shamed for them, whilst we who are not, are not likewise shamed.

wish people would stop putting the samaritans number up.at time of suicide they are not a goo option.if you need to talk and stop then yes.but if you decide to kill yourelf the samaritans cant talk you down like many actually need.they will tell you intead that they will simply not let you be alone whilst your killing yourself. at the very point of suicide they will not be able to help.

did anyone liten to laura whitmore this morning on her show.says it all really. and youd have to be utterly crass to think that any of the hounding she got was ok.and to think anyone could withstand that.it was brutal and even those in the highest jobs in media have called it out as being way way to much.
and those saying if it was a man blah blah. well no its not a simple case of man abusing woman/partner abusing partner.every single person has said there was way more to it.way more.

Whilst it really is sad that someone felt the need to commit suicide, had she been a man she would have been treated very differently and been accused of purposefully avoiding her trial. Why is that? I believe equality needs to benefit all not just women.

You must be joking?

There are plenty of male celebrities guilty of violence against women, and I’ve never seen one of them subject to the level of press abuse that this woman received. I’ve never seen a man subject to the sort of abuse from the present that women receive on a daily basis.

I think the fact that Caroline was of the same rough age as so many posters here, has made it hit home more to do many women.

Caroline was clearly a very, very unwell woman. She waited until the friend who was with her popped out and then took her life. She was clearly determined. Poor, poor lady.

Whatever she had done, it wasn't as if she could ignore the papers and avoid what people were saying. It was all over social.media. With comments about her made by people just like us.

Snark on social.media may be fashionable. Kindness and benefit of the doubt may keep people alive. I think I am going to make sure that I choose the latter from now on.

@kateandme I listened to Laura this morning. She was very brave broadcasting today and what she said was bang on the money. She made me cry. Brave woman clearly devastated at the loss of her friend.

Those shouting "If she were a man you wouldn't care." have no idea what they're talking about.

Look at all the online abuse women in all sectors of public life are subjected to compared to their male counterparts. Have you not seen the daily vitriol and rape threats female MPs for example are subjected to via social media?

Let's also compare the treatment of Ant McPartlin and how ITV stood by him versus how they and the rest of the media treated Caroline in her time of need.

Enough said.

@Deathgrip

"You must be joking?

There are plenty of male celebrities guilty of violence against women, and I’ve never seen one of them subject to the level of press abuse that this woman received. I’ve never seen a man subject to the sort of abuse from the present that women receive on a daily basis."

Exactly. This hadn't even got to court yet and from recent reports and what her partner said, most if not all of the blood in those initial shock tactic photos from the 'crime scene' was her blood from self-harm wounds.

Our own Prime Minister had a domestic incident with his partner in which police were called after lots of shouting was heard and in which his partner apparently shouted something to the effect of 'Get off me' suggesting a physical altercation took place but that has been conveniently forgotten about and swept under the carpet...

Ant didn't assault his partner
Just because men beat women it doesn't mean Caroline can beat men who have no history of beating women
Yes she had MH difficulties but so do most men who abuse women
It's not ok for her to have assaulted men because other men assault other women

@PurpleSproutingSomething - the sentiment is there but not the truth. You've summed it up.

For heavens sake, can't there be just one thread about this poor woman where posters don't immediately turn into judge and jury re the allegations made against her?

People can condemn any assault (if she had been even found guilty of it) AND think Caroline was treated terribly across the media and social media AND that she was a very ill lady who needed help AND that her death is tragic for her, her family and her friends.

None of those things cancel each other out. Discussing her case on social media seems so disrespectful to Caroline's family IF that was a contributing factor to her taking her life. Can't we just be kind and maybe not speculate about it? For now at least?

No YANBU, I’ve been really really tearful since I heard the news. Laura Whitmore had me in bits earlier, proper full on sobbing.

I’m generally a really emotional person but I never cry over celebrity deaths as I don’t actually know these people.

For some reason I’m really affected by poor Caroline’s death. I only really knew her from Strictly so goodness knows why this has resonated so much, perhaps because it’s the last straw and that the online bullying has to stop.

I gave up Facebook in 2018 and I don’t do twitter or instagram or anything else that’s out there. The online world is soooo shitty and it’s sooo sad. RIP Caroline xx

@AwkwardPigeon I suggest you have a little read up on Jon Worbouys and Boris' partner.... also note the date of the "altercation" you speak of, and the date of JW's last trial - according to a witness, Boris' partner was drinking and Boris was trying to console her - which is why she said "get off". Nothing has been swept under the carpet. The police can't sweep things under carpets!
The CPS believed they had enough "evidence" to take CF to court even though her BF dropped the charges - according to reports, she was terrified of going to prison, and the courts had confirmed a trial date recently.
It's all very sad indeed and no-one should ever have to feel like it's the only answer. DV is also very sad indeed and no-one should ever have to feel like it's the only answer.

It's affected me too, even though I had no idea who she was.
Very sad.

It's shit regardless. The point where anyone feels the need to take their own life no matter the circumstances is a bitter pill for everyone. I did not know the woman, and I'm certainly not in a position to know the details surrounding what occoured in her home/relationship. However, be it offender/non offender the last resort shouldn't have to come to opting to take your own life. I genuinely feel for families that lose a loved one to suicide, and the guilt and questions they're left to deal with the rest rest of their own lives. Very sad for all involved IMHO!

It's not just about who she was. It's about the tragic circumstances that led her into ending her own life

I have been the same to a certain extent I wasn't a fan i thought or anything but it is such a terruble thing to happen and I keep thinking about it, her poor friends and family.

People are saying she wasn't supported properly I think she had people around her by what I read she did it when her friend who had been with her went to the shops can you imagine what that friend is going through.

,My dc friend killed herself she was a lovely girl had loads of supportive friends/family nobody thought she was depressed or had MH issues until she died you can't be with somebody 24/7 and you can't force adults to talk to somebody

Exactly my thoughts @PurpleDaisies

It is sad that she has died and it is sad that her MH was in such a bad place, but this faux outpouring of “grief” makes me very uncomfortable. If she wasn’t beautiful and on TV, the tone would be very different. The fact that an aggressor has killed themselves whilst awaiting trial after learning of the evidence seems to be getting entirely lost in this new retelling of her, and I don’t feel it’s fair to her victim, or to other victims of domestic abuse to repaint her with such a glossy portrait.

Yabu.

Don't see anyone crying over the 31 people murdered by air strikes in Yemen the other day. They didn't choose to die, they were killed. Probably children as well, like any other day in countries where war continues.

But no one cares because they weren't one of us. Everyone keeps saying she killed herself because of what the media and everyone was saying about her. I'm not sure that's true, let's face it, the media hasn't been nice to her since she dated Harry styles and that was how long ago? Probably more likely she couldn't face the outcome of the trial. Knew it wouldn't end well for her because of what she did. I'd say it was guilt more than anything else that drove her to it. Still a shame, but tons of people every day do the same thing. No one except their families cries over them either.

It's obviously sad that a relatively young women could see no option than to take her own life ,but this isn't about you or anyone else who feels it's affected them personally ,i,l l reseve my sympathies for her family and friends , I can never really understand the public outpouring of greif for strangers ,albeit famous strangers .

YANBU. Laura Whitmore's tribute on the radio yesterday really saddened me She sounded heartbroken

The only thing I hope now is the truth about that night comes out, remember both her and her bf denied the allegations, so if anything, maybe her name will finally be cleared. Albeit it far too late