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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be this upset over Caroline Flack?

337 replies

RA890 · 16/02/2020 22:27

I just can't stop thinking about it. Has really knocked me sideways. Been sort of just floating around feeling weird about it all weekend.

Anyone else??

OP posts:
Toria70 · 19/02/2020 13:20

She clearly had issues with drink, and was also on prescription medication (anti depressants). That over time would have massively messed with her brain chemistry and was a deadly combination. Once a deep set depression takes hold like that, there often is no way out. She needed sectioning, not arresting. Her management should be hung out to dry for not taking better care of her, removing her social media and making her get help. They were happy to take 20% of her income but shunned any duty of care towards her.

We need to be taking to young adults about the dangers of self medicating if anything good comes from her death. The other 2 love island contestants were found to have traces of alcohol and cocaine with prescription meds. It's rife among younger people, and toxic.

Mrsjayy · 19/02/2020 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Frownette · 19/02/2020 13:33

Actually I can't follow this story anymore, too many conflicting reports. I feel sad if she did hurt him and sad about her taking her life but that's all.

Mrsjayy · 19/02/2020 13:36

You are right Frownette it is just tragic for everybody involved.

lynsey91 · 19/02/2020 13:45

I think it is very sad that anyone commits suicide. Having tried to kill myself a few years ago I know how it feels to be so down, to think there is no other solution.

Although Caroline always seemed so full of life, so cheerful etc she obviously had problems and maybe couldn't or didn't get any help.

I don't like the way the press hounded her but I also now don't like the way the press and many others are blaming her boyfriend and/or the police, the CPS for her death.

Domestic abuse has to be taken seriously whether the abuser is male or female. Also treating someone like they were some sort of saint just because they are dead is ridiculous

Original poster
RA890 · 19/02/2020 13:52

Statement released today claims that it was an accident and the blood was hers from self harming during the argument. If that is true, then it's just so desperately sad that she didn't get the help she needed. The whole situation just seems like it was all so preventable...

OP posts:
MargotB7 · 19/02/2020 14:07

LilyLovesLacey

She was in the entertainment industry, Her friends were too. It is going to get a lot of attention. No we don't hear about everyone taking there own life but hopefully there will be more aweness now and help for people who feel so desperate.

She made a huge mistake but people have done a lot worse. I can't believe how nasty people are. She didn't deserve to die.

Mrsjayy · 19/02/2020 14:17

Oh I got a message deleted wonder what i said wrong

KeepYourGinUpHigh · 19/02/2020 14:23

I get how you are feeling op, her death has got to me too. I think because she’s the same age as me and, from the outside at least, seemed to be living quite a nice life, it’s been quite shocking.

I am guilty of speculating with my friends about whether she did abuse her partner, particularly after her ex posted (now deleted) posts online about her also abusing him when they were together. She didn’t deserve the abuse she got online. The people close to her (who she was paying handsomely for their services) could well have done more to help her, only they know if that’s the case. She didn’t deserve this. If the police knew it was her blood at the scene, she clearly needed help.

Mrsjayy · 19/02/2020 14:24

If I upset anybody in my deleted post I am sorry.

YouCanNeverHaveEnoughGIitter · 19/02/2020 14:36

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/feb/19/caroline-flack-family-releases-unpublished-instagram-post

No clearer - some kind of breakdown so defence could have been diminished responsibility. That's certainly what I would have used if defending her.
I continue to feel sorry for her partner however - I have had a head injury which was accidental and am still suffering now from the emotional and physical trauma. However it happened, accident or not, the waking up to it is traumatic. You are in pain, bleeding, dazed and wondering what the fuck just happened.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 19/02/2020 15:16

That Instagram post makes no sense. In it she says that she takes full responsibility for it but that it was an accident that occurred while she was having a breakdown - so what does that mean exactly? She takes full responsibility for what? What was an accident? If she meant hitting him over the head then I fail to see how you can do that accidentally.

This whole situation worries me intensely. Yes, maybe awareness around suicide and mental health might be raised but what about attitudes towards DV? If responses to this are anything to go by people must be even more scared to report it now than before.

Cremebrule · 19/02/2020 15:18

I’m starting to get increasingly uncomfortable with the coverage. Yesterday there were 7 stories about her death on sky news. Today we have the inquest and the details of the ‘how’ alongside the Instagram post. There is a really danger that this will kick of suicide ideation for others. I always thought the media were supposed to be more responsible in reporting of suicide but I think a line is now being crossed and the coverage should stop.

Barbie222 · 19/02/2020 15:31

I don't understand why the statement has been released. It paints Flack in a worse light, as it shows that she is not taking responsibility for the attack, yet she admits to it at the same time. It lays more of her private feelings open for all to view without her consent and it must surely make it harder for those affected personally to move on privately and with dignity. Really feel like I am in a parallel universe with all of this.

carbuncleonapigsposterior · 19/02/2020 15:32

Upsetting that she took her own life, but sick to death of the never ending sob fest that has been going on since the story broke, best exemplified by Philip and Holly and other #bekind exponents. I just feel with some people they have to get in on the act, remember one famous idiot who tweeted in the aftermath of the death of Amy Winehouse, "I can't breath right now" but evidently enough breath to tap out that tosh, it's not about you love ffs! CF was another who had her demons, she needed some sort of help, but to an extent, like a lot of fragile souls who become celebrities they are sometimes complicit in their own destruction, she's not the first in that respect and she won't be the last. Quite honestly there has been far more heartbreaking news whilst this has been playing out, such as the displaced babies and children in northern Syria, freezing to death.

Doggyperson · 19/02/2020 15:46

Nicola Mcclean came out of the woodwork to say about Caroline sharing private Instagram posts with her close friends only and how concerned she was Hmm

I find it so very sad. No, I didn't know her but I kinda felt I did, having watched her on I'm a celeb, x factor and love island over the years.

Irrespective of what happened that night, she or her family and friends didn't deserve this.

Frownette · 19/02/2020 15:58

It shows just how easily people can hide MH problems.

ChocolateQuiltedShitPig · 19/02/2020 16:24

@Doggyperson Nicola McLean is the most vile of celebrities in my eyes. This is her major opportunity now to come back to being relevant. She has sold story after story about CF and it sickens me.

I feel really sad about Caroline. I am aware that this is a ridiculous way to feel because as other posters have said, I don't know her personally.

I just think that when something so tragic happens to someone so young who is a household name, its shocking.

I have suffered with suicidal thoughts before and I guess I find it very triggering.

I can't bring myself to read any more stories as it is just so sad. I feel sad for her, for her family and for her friends.

It's just really sad.

As for not taking responsibility and saying it was an accident, this could be possible...kind of. Some people throw things in anger, perhaps it caught him on the head? I don't know.

No one really knows what happened apart from her and him. I will say though, I always suspected the blood was from her, given her wrists being cut and his head barely noticeable in the photos following the event.

Mrsjayy · 19/02/2020 16:28

Her ex Andrew Brady has announced he is sad several times (knob)

HangingOffYourCloud · 19/02/2020 16:44

@Mrsjayy I think it was your earlier post about him that got deleted.

For what it's worth I agree with you.

Mrsjayy · 19/02/2020 16:48

Oh right wasit well probably best I stop speaking about him then.

TheMaskedTulip · 19/02/2020 16:56

I cannot believe that their are posters on here literally whitewashing the DV. Have a long hard think about exactly what you are advocating. Despicable really.

Lipsygirl · 19/02/2020 16:59

May be wrong here, but I have a case that’s gone to the CPS, it’s been bounced back 3 times due to lack of evidence. They must have had decent enough evidence to charge her.

But nevertheless it’s always sad when somebody takes their own life, I do believe she was a troubled soul who clearly needed help

steppemum · 19/02/2020 17:07

I feel desperately sorry for her and her family, as I would for anyone who commits suicide, you must be desperate to do that.

But I find the coverage very frustrating. if she was a man up for a charge of DV there would not be any sympathy. Why do we minmalise her violence?

She worked in an industry which is 100% dependant on the hype of social media, and on a program which was socila media and image driven to a ridiculous degree.
and then she is surprised when that industry post scomments about her.

Microdot · 19/02/2020 17:35

Her ex Andrew Brady has announced he is sad several times (knob)

Why the hell are you attacking him? He's done nothing wrong at all, tried to protect CF from the consequences of her actions and I'm sure is devastated. Leave off ffs