To be this upset over Caroline Flack?

[RA890]

I just can't stop thinking about it. Has really knocked me sideways. Been sort of just floating around feeling weird about it all weekend.

Anyone else??

My DD met her once and its from a parents point of view I feel so sad; she was beautiful and seemed to have a good career and when people like that die young it makes you feel that things aren't "right" - and of course they are not. She said my DD reminded her of herself when she was young and that brought me to tears thinking god that's someone's DD who was a little girl and this is how her life ends.

I thought it was very moving with Schofield and Joe Swash being upset on Dancing on Ice earlier; she was clearly very popular amongst other celebrities.

I feel sad about her but there will be other unknown people who also took their own life this weekend. They are equally as tragic but we just don't know about them. She seemed to have a lot of support but some people are determined to end their life.

It is sad for her friends and family.

I've lost a friend to suicide very recently. On the surface she also had it all. Sadly when people get to the point where they don't want to live no amount of "being kind" or "reaching out" will help. It's all a bit shit really and there needs to be a huge focus on investment into mental health treatment.

People who knew someone who took their own life often don’t like the term ‘committed’ suicide, since it’s from the era when taking your own life was a crime and was ‘committed’, they instead ‘died by suicide’, ‘died’, ‘died by suicide’ etc. are all preferable terms to use.
I have nothing to contribute about that woman which wouldn’t end up being deleted, but hey, ‘be kind’ and don’t be a domestic abuser, eh.

YANBU. I wasn't even a real big fan, didn't like or dislike her. (But she was OK on Love Island.) But I too, am feeling it. It's such a huge shock!

I’ve felt really sad since I found out. But I think Caroline had issues before this. Her ex has a gagging order but it’s clear they had a very volatile relationship which involved violence. I wondered if she had a problem with alcohol and she was a violent drunk (I was too on occasions, I don’t drink anymore). Obviously the last couple of months has escalated how she felt but I don’t think alone drove her to take her own life. Very sad, rip caroline

YANBU at all. Her death has really resonated with me as well.

Sometimes it just happens that certain things hit home harder than others. This is one.

It's really shaken me too. The posts on facebook telling people like me to call them any time day or night, but these people don't want to hear, not really. Or they do once or twice but not every time I feel a pang of desperation and want to end it.
The sentiment is there, but not the truth.

Also Valentine's Day is one of the biggest days in the calendar when people take their own lives.

So RIP to every single one of them, I hope they are all truly at peace now.

What is it with people running round crying over some “celeb” because she’s dead has everyone forgotten that they are crying over someone that they don’t know none of you would give a shit if she was a nobody like the millions of people who commit suicide every day that no one ever hears about because they don’t matter. Seems funny that’s she chose to kill herself right before she was due to stand trial for assault that just makes her look guilty. People need to get a grip now.

@HelloAgainYou

The police can prosecute if there is sufficient evidence of a crime - even if the victim doesn't want them to.

(my apologies if you weren't under that confusion).

I've watched this unfold shocked and horrified but for an entirely different reason.

She clearly had severe mental health issues and that is really sad that she never got the help she needed, but what she did was beyond horrendous and it is really wrong that her actions seem to have been entirely forgiven and she is now made out to be the victim.

I am absolutely sure that if a male celebrity viciously attacked their female partner in their sleep they would be absolutely slaughtered and if they then committed suicide I very much doubt there would be a massive wave of 'he didn't deserve this' 'he was so kind and gentle' 'he needed help' etc etc.

I feel like this too, and I’ve wondered if it’s because her downfall was so widely reported in all the gossip magazines and newspapers so it’s almost like we saw it happening and no one did anything about it. Whilst I’m shocked at the news, I can’t say it’s totally surprising given what she’s had to deal with for a number of years now. Her various relationships have been scrutinised for a long time, and this last one has been in Heat magazine every single bloody week. They didn’t leave the poor woman alone, and she’d had enough.

Yes, you are. You didn’t know her, she was a complete stranger to you. You may have had an illusion of knowing her because she was in the public eye, but she was still a complete stranger you’d never even met.
It’s sad, but taking it this personally is just weird.

• What I don't understand is that she was so violent with her fiancé the police felt the need to prosecute even though he didn't want them to and she had form for assault with a previous boyfriend.

Whilst it really is sad that someone felt the need to commit suicide, had she been a man she would have been treated very differently and been accused of purposefully avoiding her trial. Why is that? I believe equality needs to benefit all not just women.*

This ^^

And whilst it’s very sad for their friends and family that anyone feels the need to resort to suicide. How has it been forgotten that she was not the victim here? Mental illness is no excuse for DV. Ever.

YABU to feel so sad over the death of a long term habitual domestic abuser.

As I said on another thread, would anyone be saying this if she was a man who almost killed his partner? I very much doubt it. IF Chris Brown had killed himself to avoid justice of his attack on Rhianna would you be saying "Oh he needed more support"? Of course not!

Her MH issues do not excuse years of violence against her partners, and him not wanting her prosecuted is no different to women who go back to their abusers and dont want a prosecution (I should know, I was one of them).

If anyone needed support it was him and I hope that this highlights the issue of men being victims of domestic violence too.

had she been a man she would have been treated very differently and been accused of purposefully avoiding her trial.

To be fair I don’t think she had much sympathy before or after her death. There are more people saying “had she been a man ...” or condemning her DV than there are showing sympathy to her.

And the hounding of her by the press and social media before her death goes against this idea that she received any special treatment due to her sex.

Of course I am showing her no sympathy, she is a violent abuser.

I find it deeply upsetting that people think it’s appropriate to post in AIBU about someone’s suicide...and ask others to vote on their views

Some people make everything about themselves. Can only see an event through the lens of how it makes them feel.

This thread is abhorrent, really, and op needs to have a word with herself.

If you think the overwhelming international response from the majority of people to Chris browns abuse of Rihanna was in favour of Rihanna..... you are very ignorant indeed.

It’s astonishing that there are grown women who genuinely believe that male domestic abusers are shunned by society and that the ‘he was a nice person/good dad’ stuff is not rolled out across the media when a man who has harmed women in his life dies.

There are none so blind, I suppose.

Of course I am showing her no sympathy, she is a violent abuser.

I’m not saying that you should. I’m saying you’re overestimating the amount of sympathy for her.

People are sad that a person has killed themselves after a vitriolic media campaign. It speaks to the voyeuristic nastiness of our press.

Having said that, it is human nature to empathise with those closest to our demographic. I’m sure if you did a survey you would find much less sympathy amongst men towards her than amongst women and vice versa for Kobe Bryant. I think people can feel sad for the situation without condoning her violence.

I didnt say that, I said the response on MN.

Well actually I didnt, just re-read my pp, but thats what I meant. I realise that there will always be apoligists, but I was referring the MN where the abuse victim is always believed and supported......unless it is a man apparently and abuser is pretty and famous and "tragic".

@tompinch that was my point. The police thought there was enough evidence to prosecute. She abused/assaulted at least two partners. If that was a man, I'm not sure people would be being so empathetic. All I'm saying is people should be treated equally.