To miss my best friend's wedding

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DH's friends told us months ago that they would be having their wedding in Cyprus on a Friday in June 2021. I told my best friend this in December as soon as I found out the date because she was recently engaged. Now she has booked her wedding for the Saturday of the same weekend near her family home which is nowhere near an airport. I'd have to leave the Cyprus wedding early, leaving behind my husband and DS who is 2, and catch a late night flight to London then a lift with a friend the next day to make it. I'm not sure DH can cope with DS alone on a flight either.
She is like a sister to me. We lived together for 4 years before I got married and was my maid of honour. Absolutely went above and beyond when it was my turn. However DHs friend is someone he's known since childhood and he absolutely has to go.

AIBU to honour the initial commitment of going to the Cyprus wedding and miss my friend's wedding entirely?

Oh good god. Does no one on here read the previous posts before they write one?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I have just got married and my two best friends are currently planning theirs. We’ve sent so many ‘can and can’t not’ dates to each other via phone calls/FaceTimes/messages, we’ve lost track several times 😂 and as well as each other’s dates, we’ve all had other immediate family/friends weddings etc, but honest mistakes happen, no ulterior motives, no nastiness or drama.
I’d 100% go to your friends, you’ve already said you’re more like sisters, the Cyprus flights and hotel hasn’t been booked yet, there’s no official invite or RSVP. It will be sad to not be at your husbands best friend/family’s gathering, but, your best friend is just that.
Also, check if people are staying a few days after the Cyprus wedding, you could do your BFFs wedding, then fly out with your little one the following day, in time for a few days/week of sunshine and relaxation, after a busy time both helping your BFF with her wedding planning and also preparing for a mini holiday possibly.
I’m guessing your little one is a baby and you’re saying he’ll be two when you travel? Don’t stress and overthink, you’re still in 1st baby panic mode, you’ll both be pros by then 😁 Happy planning ☺️

Separate weddings. And if you don't have a good childcare option for your DS, take him with you. I'm sure the Cyprus couple will understand, and bringing your toddler to your wedding will be easier than worrying about what's happening with him.

I’d say if you’re even considering missing your best friends wedding, then she’s not really your best friend.

I’m surprised so many people are saying go separately. I would agree if both weddings were UK based but presumably part of the appeal of going to Cyprus all together is to make a holiday out of it so going separately and foregoing that, leaving DH either one his own or with DS in Cyprus, is far from ideal. It may be the best solution but it’s not a straightforward one.

OP your friend sounds really understanding and I doubt she did it on purpose. I would go with your heart - if you want to go to her wedding, don’t miss it because of “etiquette” with the Cyprus wedding given its 18 months in advance. Equally if you want to go to Cyprus with your family, do so - she will understand and sounds like she acknowledges she forgot you were busy that weekend.

Have fun whatever you decide.

I know other people have easier kids, but taking a 2 year old on a plane trip without the other parent is not something I would do except under extreme circumstances. Again, I only have experience with my own high-needs child, but I know our personal situation isn’t that far from average.

Ditto, Purple. I also don’t imagine the wedding would be much fun for op’s dh; having to run around after a possibly tired and fractious 2 year old all through the wedding and then having to leave the whole thing at the toddler’s bedtime and sit alone in the hotel room while the others party on.
If they were together they could at least stagger it a bit, and on home ground there would presumably be potential babysitters.

Go to cyprus and leave child with dad whilst u take early flight. Im sure he will survive. U cant miss your friends wedding. If i had missed my best friends wedding i would never of seen her again. She died suddenly 3 weeks after wedding. Personally i would leave child with your parents and red eye it back from cyprus and party like a bitch 🎉😂 with or without hubby. Its your friend dont miss that special day xxx

I’d say go with DH. Going to a wedding by myself with a 2 year old sounds shit.

My friend got married on the very same day as my husbands friend did. We both went to our own friends weddings individually, without a second thought. Actually we had the invite to his friends one first but it was a no brainer for me to go to my friends.

My chief bridesmaid announced she was having her wedding on my first wedding anniversary...you've already said you can't make that date, yet she's gone with it anyway. It didn't change my friendship.

Been in this situation before. It was Rome in my case then back to England. Spent the week before wedding in Italy, made it our summer holiday. Went to wedding in Rome then husband stayed on with the then one child while i flew back for friend’s wedding with the most gorgeous golden tan and had a blast by myself 😊

Are people not reading the posts? OP already solved her problem several pages ago.

My chief bridesmaid announced she was having her wedding on my first wedding anniversary

So? I couldn't tell you the date of any of my friends anniversaries. You'd be pretty limited on dates if you had to avoid everyone else's anniversary

It's a year and a half away, I'd have the conversations with all about the conflicting date but hang fire on the decision making, who knows .

(Optimism right here ladies and gents 🤗)

My chief bridesmaid announced she was having her wedding on my first wedding anniversary

Presumably you still went to her wedding on your first anniversary though?

She didn't give you a second thought when she chose her wedding date. She obviously thinks less of you than you do of her. Go to the wedding you have already accepted the invitation for.

Separate and get your child looked after by a family member

Don't worry about your Dh and your toddler - fully grown man can wrangle a small child for a few hours ! (I used to fly solo with mine a lot and one is autistic, I bribed them with yogurt covered raisins and new magazines, no smartphones then)

I would go with my Husband and Child to the wedding. I have been to a Wedding on my own and it felt very strange. These events are best when they are shared with someone you Love.

You told her about your prior engagement ages ago. This is on her. You must honour your original commitment. So YANBU.

However what is unreasonable is this: ‘ I'm not sure DH can cope with DS alone on a flight either.’ Pathetic.

Jeeperscreepers69 oh my goodness that's an awful thing to happen to your Friend. What a shock for you. My Partner died a couple of weeks before our Wedding. You just never know do you. I am glad you did go to her Wedding.