Husband still not home

[PebbleStone22]

DH went to friends house for dinner. I was invited, but stayed home with DS.

Left at 3pm, said he'd be home for 7ish. 9pm came and still not home. I messaged him and he said he'd be 1-2 hours.

Midnight came and still no sign. I phoned to make sure he was ok, he was totally dismissive, "I'm still at friends house" and basically hung up.

I feel so annoyed and disrespected. I am his wife, surely I get to know when to expect him home.

Aibu?

You're seriously complaining because it was midnight and your dh wasnt home?

You know where he was, you'd already contacted him to check on him. What more did you need?

I'd hate it if my dh checked up on me like that

the comments on here ridiculing the OP are disgusting ..... really disgusting

All the cool wives are out mocking the OP for wanting a bit of consideration, I see. It's basic courtesy to not cause your loved ones anxiety. The idea you should just chill the fuck out and go to sleep is bizarre. I genuinely believe it's internalised misogyny about not stopping men having fun or not being a nag or some other disingenuous bullshit.

@Frankola do you make a habit of saying you’ll be back at a certain time then not showing up?

People have low standard for behaviour they’ll accept.

I worry if my husband is hours later than he says he’s going to be and check on him too, not because I want him home but how am I supposed to know he’s not crashed the car?!
I have also been really annoyed before when he said he was popping out for an hour, two hours later I text him and he’s ‘leaving in a minute’ this went on for five hours... I was mad that he wanted to stay out, I was mad that he couldn’t just be honest and say he was having a good time and wasn’t sure what time he’d be home, we’ve got two very young children and I’m pregnant and I can’t do bedtime alone (roll on self settling 😂) so I hadn’t planned the evening for him to be gone! It’s just nice when they’re honest and open that’s all!

*wasn’t mad that he wanted to stay out

Bad manners i agree. There must be underlying problems in the relationship. You know if there is and how much you are willing to tolerate. If you did the same would he understand?

@user1490607838 your comment with the story of teaching your DH a lesson about going out and not leaving a note or being contactable. That was brill.

@puds11 you're own standard of behaviour isn't very high is it?

You see a comment you dont like so you insinuate that I'm either a mug or someone who behaves in a rude way.

I'm neither.

Unless OP needed her dh to be home at a specific time for a precise reason I'm not sure why she needs to know what time he would be back.

Stay classy...

Your not you're haha

@Frankola read into it what you like

frankola those of us who are thinking it was lack of common courtesy from him were thinking about op at home with young child and him out and not back for hours after he said he would be.

There doesn’t need to be a specific reason for your partner to be back to expect them to be in touch saying they’re going to be much later than envisaged surely ?

It’s not about him ‘not being able to have fun’ or ‘being checked up on’ as other posters have characterised it - it’s about her not wanting to be worried about him because he can’t be bothered to text ! Worried he’s not texted so perhaps something has happened to make him so late with no word.

I’ve frequently been out way beyond when I said I would be back. When younger I did on a few occasions really mess up by getting drunk/having fun/staying out and just forgetting to get in touch with dp - on one awful occasion just too drunk to even think about it. I was absolutely contrite when it happened and it goes down in my reckoning as shitty behaviour to worry a partner just through thoughtlessness.