Pissed off at being pulled over by friend AIBU

[LipsyGirl]

I was out with a friend who has issues walking. She’s the same size as me. The ground was uneven so she held onto me to offer more support which was fine, she joked and said if I fall over your coming with me.

She did fall over & I did go with her. I am actually pretty pissed off. Am I being a little precious? I don’t want to overreact.

I didn’t hurt myself bad just a banged knee & bruises etc.

You sound like a delightful friend

So she actually knew there was a real chance she would pull you down with her?
What if you had hurt yourself more than a banged knee and bruises?
If I were your friend, I'd have been mortified that I'd hurt you.
You are not a bad person.

Don't offer your hand / to help in future if you won't accept the risk that you also might get hurt.

YABFU

GinDaddy

“ Don't offer your hand / to help in future if you won't accept the risk that you also might get hurt.”

This is thought provoking. I have honestly never thought that someone might try to pull me down on purpose.

You said you are both the same size? Is this relevant? Would the fall have been due to excess weight.? Perhaps she needs a metal walking frame.

OP is she mortified and very apologetic?

GinDaddy there really shouldn't be much of a risk of getting hurt. Someone accustomed to their own mobility issues without accompanying neurological disorders (for example some forms of uncontrolled epilepsy) usually known their own abilities and wouldn't pull a helper down with them. It's absolutely not an expected risk.

I guess all those who think yabu also think nurses should physically lift patients and not moan about injury to themselves
An accident is just that but it's not fair to use someone as a walking aid. Risk to them and risk to you. You could have fallen on her and hurt her

I think if you're prepared to let someone hold on to you, you need to be prepared to go down with them. Obviously, if she starts to fall she's going to pull on you otherwise what's the point of holding on in the first place? It would be great if people in the middle of a fall were quick thinking and with it enough to tell at what point the holding on is pointless and to let go at that point, but I don't think that's very realistic.

I would be a bit annoyed about her putting you in that position in the first place, though. If she falls often enough to have a stick she should have taken it with her. It's not right to increase other people's risk when you have an alternative. Embarrassment can be difficult to deal with but it doesn't make increasing the risk of harm to your friends OK.

you thought she should just let go

ok then

Did your friend check on you, LipsyGirl?

This is why people who aren't able to walk well on their own should use a walking aid and not rely on someone else to be their support.

It's a tough lesson to learn OP, I hope you're OK. She needs to take her stick or whatever she uses with her in future and if she doesn't, you need to say no. I saw my late FIL suffer similarly because my MIL preferred to hang on to him rather than use a stick and she brought him down a few times sadly. The age is immaterial, the problem is the same.

“ Obviously, if she starts to fall she's going to pull on you otherwise what's the point of holding on in the first place? ”

Mum leans on me a bit for balance. She’s too underweight to drag me down but the OP friend seems to have done it on purpose.

I would be pissed off. She said she might pull you over and she did. She needs a stick! Not a human sacrifice!

But the nurse analogy doesn’t hold. Nurses need to be protected from injury at work and protected by their employer. This was two friends one with mobility issues. Yes I agree if she has a walking stick she should have had it.
Except even that - I have a friend with ms and a walking stick. I know she loves taking my arm sometimes becUse she can forget the need for the stick.
It’s all complicated and lots of unknowns here. I just don’t think a friend would pull another down. Not complain if an accident happened.

´Nor’ not ‘not’

It’s the intention that’s shocking to me

In dads last months with cancer, he walked with a stick. He used to ask me and mum to keep our distance in case he fell and accidentally hurt one of us.

I do have an old spinal injury and mum is frail, but unless I’d been a fit strapping rugby player, I think he’d have been the same.

@boo@BoomBoomsCousin@AutumnRose1 yes she did check on me, she wasn’t really apologetic she just said I told you I’d take you down too but joking of course

Okay OP

Doesn’t sound great. Sorry.

Wow, the empathy op, youre right, she shouldn't have involved you in her fall.

I have mobility issues. I use a stick (if I’m not using my wheelchair). Occasionally someone will offer me their arm and I’ll gratefully take it. I’d be gutted if I had a fall and hurt a friend; I also know my friends wouldn’t come on the internet moaning about it!

@JiltedJohnsJulie you make it everyone’s business when you post it in a public forum.

🙄

She has a disability - she is trying to make light of it. If I was pulled over I would have had a bit of a giggle - it’s life she’s your friend.
Imagine being in her shoes - she is trying to be upbeat about her difficulties - there will be days when she is down... you won’t know about it ... she won’t share it.
Be kind

She’s too underweight to drag me down but the OP friend seems to have done it on purpose

Don't be daft. Have you never fallen? You cling onto what you can to prevent it. You have no thought process past this. It is a split second it occurs in.

Maybe I missed it, but what do you mean she "literally dragged you down" was she yanking on you to knock you over as you were fighting to stay up right? I think you just changed wording for semantics to get sympathy. She fell, instinct is to grab on to the person holding you to try to KEEP from falling. If you think she fell and thought, I'm dragging her to the ground with me, and then pulled you to the ground on purpose then either she is crazy, or you are.