Pissed off at being pulled over by friend AIBU

[LipsyGirl]

I was out with a friend who has issues walking. She’s the same size as me. The ground was uneven so she held onto me to offer more support which was fine, she joked and said if I fall over your coming with me.

She did fall over & I did go with her. I am actually pretty pissed off. Am I being a little precious? I don’t want to overreact.

I didn’t hurt myself bad just a banged knee & bruises etc.

So you are being told YABU and she now “dragged you down” the next thing will be that she pushed you over and sat on you.

She does have a walking stick & despite us being out all day she chose not to bring it but I understand it may embarrass her to use it as she is young

@JiltedJohnsJulie I have a stick but on uneven ground as described in the OP I would take my friends offered arm. I guess I’m luckier than the OPs friend and your DM that I have people in my life happy to help

You don't honestly think that her jokey comment actually indicated intent, surely?

Op when someone’s falling they can be a dead weight. May have felt she was pulling you down but I’ll bet she was trying hard to keep on her feet - pulling hard on you.
I remember when my mum was a bit unsteady in her feet how amazed I was at how heavy she was to keep upright - she’d hold my arm and sometimes I’d nearly be dragged down. I’m 6 inches taller and around 30 lbs heavier than she was. She was tiny. She nearly had me over on occasion.
Hope you are ok.

No I don’t think that. I honestly thought she’d just let go. Unless the person I was holding onto was a lot bigger/stronger I’d let go if I fell over. Maybe I am a bar person

Bad*

Make sure she take her stick with her next time . And don't go out with out again .

I don’t think you are a bar person, you just have no empathy or consideration for your friends issues.
Have you even checked on her since she fell?

*bad

She panicked falling over and instinctively clung on to you to keep in an attempt to keep herself upright. Do you think she pulled you over on purpose?

@yesmate I think that makes her a bad person

That would piss me off too.

Do you know the extent of her mobility problems. It may be that if she loses balance her arms also lock so making it difficult for her just to let go.

It's an instinct to cling on. Your instinct would be to brave yourself.

Of course I have checked on her. She said she’s fine. @Ameliablue that’s a good point I didn’t think of that

e I have a stick but on uneven ground as described in the OP I would take my friends offered arm. I guess I’m luckier than the OPs friend and your DM that I have people in my life happy to help

As already explained, my "D"M refuses to take her stick out with her. I am tiny, most probably as a result of her neglect. With my tiny stature, it's really difficult to support anyone, let alone someone that is much bigger and puts all of their weight on you.

If she pulls on me and damages my back, like she's already done with my sister, I won't be able to look after her, my DC, my ILs or work.

I don't think expecting her to take a stick is especially unreasonable. I think she's lucky that we speak to her at all after the years of abuse.

Not that it's any business of yours of course.

I think unless you are actually falling over you don;t know what you would do. I would guess that instincgt imght make you grab and hang on to the nearest thing. In this case OP.

If you think she deliberately pulled you over in order to hurt you then she is clearly deranged and I would drop her as a friend - God knows what she might do next.

If instead you believe she fell because of her mobility issues and hung onto you in panic while trying to stop herself falling, then why are you grouching, surely most people would be more concerned that their friend was OK.

My dad pulled me over once when he was elderly and unsteady - I was glad that hanging on to me meant he didn't fall too heavily - and we both had a laugh about it (mainly because I didn;t want him to feel embarrassed or bad that he'd pulled me down so I turned it into a joke.)

I very much doubt she meant to do it on purpose.

Some friend you are!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

You should have said in your OP that she literally dragged you down

That is not remotely okay and I’d dump this “friend”

No I don’t think that. I honestly thought she’d just let go. Unless the person I was holding onto was a lot bigger/stronger I’d let go if I fell over. Maybe I am a bad person

@LipsyGirl I imagine it was just in the heat of the moment- she might've thought she could right herself etc, plus it's human instinct to grab on to whatever's near.

I bet your friend is mortified to have pulled you over. This happened to a friend of mine. He has mobility problems and I think was leaning on his wife,, had a fall and pulled her over. She tore some ligaments in her leg, had to wear a boot and have physio! He was gutted.

She needs a walking aid. It's not OK to risk hurting other people

I'm surprised people are verbally beating you up for offering your friend physical support and being unhappy at being dragged over and bashing your knee.

I've worked with people with a range of mobility problems most of whom also have learning difficulties, yet they've all managed to avoid dragging me to the ground.

Presumably you were walking somewhere inappropriate for your friend's current mobility needs, but it is strange she didn't take her stick - when motor issues are known and there's no neurological issue also at play people usually know very well what they can manage without risk of falling.

It sounds rather odd to me, as though there was more at play at least on an emotional level.