To return this cheque?

[MAFIL]

I've received a cheque today from an organisation that I have been embroiled in a legal dispute with for some time. They have finally admitted their fault and compensated me. All good, except the cheque is payable to Mrs MAFIL and, unsurprisingly, given its my name, my bank account is in the name of Dr MAFIL. Now I expect my bank will probably accept it, given it has the correct first name and surname on, but this has really pissed me off. I have been communicating with these people for over a year and on every occasion I have referred to myself as Dr. Nor do I ever recall disclosing my marital status as it is wholly irrelevant to the matter in hand. (I am married as it happens but my husband has a different surname.) The casual sexism really annoys me. As a middle aged woman it is assumed I must be married? And I am not entitled to the courtesy of my professional title?
I am tempted to return the cheque and insist on a new one being issued. But on the other hand, it has been such a battle to get to this point, half of me wants to just bank the money and forget about it. Given their general ineptitude to date, who knows when the new cheque will arrive.
WWYD? Send it back? Shrug it off and bank the cheque? Only complain if the cheque is refused by the bank? Bank it but send a letter complaining? Something else?

@mnthrowaway202020 I read something about consultants actually dropping the Dr title as a show of experience/seniority

It's not about a show of experience or seniority! Surgeons revert to their previous titles.

I hope one day you’ll look back at this and realise there is more to life than getting worked up about this. I’m surprised that in your line of work you don’t already realise this. It’s quite sad really.

OMG 1st world problems! Bank the flipping cheque and move the F on!

GAL

Maybe they put Mrs as they thought you were a surgeon? Maybe it's a compliment or maybe don't worry about it as it's actually nothing at all to worry about?

Bank the cheque - you worked for it - then write to the bank requesting they use the correct title in future

Sorry not bank, organisation

The official title of a female surgeon is Miss.

Mmmm sounds like mountain out of a molehill - get over it and move on I’d say

Oh yawn just cash the cheque and move on! I bet you’re one of those doctors who loves to drop their title here, there and everywhere to demonstrate their superiority! In the profession I am training to qualify in there are 2 routes one where you become a Dr and one you don’t- both as proficient as the other and yet as your post so clearly demonstrates those with the title Dr are usually the ones most detached from the real world of the patients they are dealing with. Whereas those without the title tend to be much more humble and down to earth! Can you guess which route I’ll be following?

It’s not nothing or pathetic. It’s sexist and misogynistic.

However, you can’t always fight the good fight. Sometimes a bitch just gotta get paid. Bank the cheque, two fingers up at them and enjoy your life.

Jesus as if you could be even arsed to start this thread let alone think about sending the cheque back.

Who cares ... what a none problem

Bank it, make sure it clears then send them a letter of acknowledgement signing it DOCTOR xxxxx in all caps and embolden

OP, I totally get where you're coming from! Only thing is I'd worry you'll be severely delayed getting your rectified cheque. Absolute wankers though in any case!

Tippexy Yoyu are right, and you made that point more eloquently than I did!! Many people think GPs are the only proper DR. but they are physicians and have no doctorate (unless studied for one separately of course, then Dr. Dr. !!)

Blimey! I thought doctors were so stretched these days that this would have been dismissed as irrelevant.

Oh goodness me! Storm in a teacup. Just bank it and relax with a nice cup of tea.

It’s not nothing or pathetic. It’s sexist and misogynistic

Or alternatively a simple error..... good god the drama!

I read something about consultants actually dropping the Dr title as a show of experience/seniority

It's not that. Historically medicine in Britain had a tripartite system of apothecaries, surgeons and physicians. Their knowledge and perceived status was quite different. Physicians used the title 'Dr' whilst surgeons remained 'Mr' and lower status because they tended not to be university educated and were also doing a more physical and 'dirtier' job. Surgeons performed operations, often unsuccessfully and certainly bloodily.

During the late 19th and early 20th centuries the status of surgery changed as operations were more likely to be successful. The use of aseptic and antiseptic techniques and, from the 1840s, the use of anaesthetics, made surgery less traumatic and much more survivable. So as the status of surgery improved, it became a badge of honour amongst surgeons to retain the title 'Mr'. And it almost always was Mr.

Never put down to malice what you can put down to stupidity!
Bank it and move on.....Time's tooooo precious to waste

I wonder what the responses would be if OP had been using her Dr title and they addressed her post as Mr assuming she was a man. I don't think (well I fucking hope not) she would be called precious and ridiculous and told to get a grip.

Titles are important, and how we use them (and the the distinctions of marital status that womens titles have, but men don't) reflects the sexist society we live in. Personally I believe we should flag up sexism whenever we see it (and assuming the OP is a married woman on no grounds whatsoever is sexist). Some people may think it's too minor to worry about (and women objecting should shut up and get on with it - always nice to hear women being told this ) but personally I think sexism should be addressed whenever we see it, even if others see it as minor.

Gigantic plants don't grow without roots and stuff like this is the roots (alright that's a shit analogy ) This is exactly why the stuff people think is more important happens. It's sexism. It's fuck all to do with stealth boasting or whining, it's sexist assumptions being made about a woman, and I for one think that's important.

Shit like this is exactly why women of a certain age are passed over as their bosses worry they will get pregnant, women are asked about their marital status at job interviews, women are passed over for promotion after maternity leave etc. This doesn't happen to men (and please don't whataboutery me). It's because we are women and sexist assumptions are made - like in this case. Let's not be nice or be kind or save our energy or get over ourselves, let's speak up for ourselves and encourage and support other women to do this!

Omg, all the tragedies going on in the world and you are worrying about something so trivial. I think it says more about you than the company that have sent you a settlement cheque.

YABU.

Of the people I know with doctorates, IME the ones who tell people that they're 'doctors' are usually the ones who stayed in higher education more as a means to stave off actual employment than because they were especially clever...

Of the people I know with doctorates, IME the ones who tell people that they're 'doctors' are usually the ones who stayed in higher education more as a means to stave off actual employment than because they were especially clever...
Except the op is a medical doctor @Upherefordancing