To return this cheque?

[MAFIL]

I've received a cheque today from an organisation that I have been embroiled in a legal dispute with for some time. They have finally admitted their fault and compensated me. All good, except the cheque is payable to Mrs MAFIL and, unsurprisingly, given its my name, my bank account is in the name of Dr MAFIL. Now I expect my bank will probably accept it, given it has the correct first name and surname on, but this has really pissed me off. I have been communicating with these people for over a year and on every occasion I have referred to myself as Dr. Nor do I ever recall disclosing my marital status as it is wholly irrelevant to the matter in hand. (I am married as it happens but my husband has a different surname.) The casual sexism really annoys me. As a middle aged woman it is assumed I must be married? And I am not entitled to the courtesy of my professional title?
I am tempted to return the cheque and insist on a new one being issued. But on the other hand, it has been such a battle to get to this point, half of me wants to just bank the money and forget about it. Given their general ineptitude to date, who knows when the new cheque will arrive.
WWYD? Send it back? Shrug it off and bank the cheque? Only complain if the cheque is refused by the bank? Bank it but send a letter complaining? Something else?

I assure you, Darren in accounts hasn't done this to spite you

Bank it. I couldn't give a flying f* when I get stuff addressed to mrs waterbottle and it should be Dr waterbottl

Cash it.
Write a snitty letter if it makes you feel better.

Just bank it and move on. You’re not going to teach them anything by insisting on changing it.

The OP has said that she doesn't even have a doctorate and just used that title because...

Incidentally traditionally unless you are a medical doctor it’s considered bad form to use the title Dr except in the professional pursuance of that role. If you are a medical doctor get a grip and do your job after banking the cheque.

Is your doctorate of any relevance to the matter in hand? If not then there is no reason for you to have been using it other than some sense of intellectual superiority, It can be very relevant to establish intellectual superiority. First step in any dispute with a large organisation is to convince them you know what you're talking about, and can't be fobbed off with a with a letter saying basically "you wouldn't understand the details but we're right".

Prescribe yourself a stiff gin and move on.

That's so weird. If you do a doctorate you are a doctor. But if you are a doctor you are also a doctor even though you are not a doctor because you haven't done a doctorate.

Or an alternative way of looking at it: if you do a doctorate you get to be a doctor even though you are not a doctor.

Awesome.

Cash the cheque. Then build a bridge and get over it.

Bank the cheque, your bank will know it's for you. Presumably they'll send you some paperwork with it anyway which will include your address but quite honestly I think they will take no notice at all. They know you're a Mrs as well as Dr.

I'm glad it's all sorted.

Sorry, didn't mean to put the 'even' in my last post. Not meant to be disparaging.

I'd be irritated too, but having already been dealing with this shit-show for over a year, I would be banking the cheque and moving on - not be giving them any more opportunities for ineptitude.

Don't understand all these negative comments. It would really irritate me too. However, because you've had such a hassle with these people, it probably is the best thing to bite your tongue and bank it.

I would be delighted to receive a cheque made out to Mr/Ms/Master rosegoldwatcher and my lack of ire at the mistake would be in direct proportion to the number of digits before the decimal point.

just a lowly bachelors degree like vast numbers of other doctors.

YABU to using "Dr" when you only have a bachelor degree!
Since when it's that even a thing?!?
(I have got one, before I am accused of being jealous...)

Nice line in self sabotage you have there.You don’t just want their money. You want their respect. Not likely to happen.Yet you have already wasted your time creating this thread. And are considering wasting more time on a letter.

Take the money. Move on. These people are nothing to you. What do you care for their good opinion? Spend your time on something that gives you delight.

Cash it, move on! My husband does have a doctorate, spent 10years fighting his ocd and anxiety to get it. Even his parents refer to him as 'mr'. It pisses me off no end! Then there's the added casual sexism but you'd be cutting your nose off if you send it back as guaranteed they'd say you'd refused it, or provided incorrect details, or they never got it back and you'd be down the payment!

Take a photocopy of it.

Then pay it in.

Then send the photocopy of it to their customer complaints department and complain as much as you like. But wait at least a week for the cheque to clear first.

If they are sending me money they can call me Mr Mrs Miss or Ms. I've got real problems to worry about.

You come across as rather immature in wanting to return the cheque because it isn't made out to Dr.MAFL. I would suggest you grow up and concentrate on something more worthwhile.

@JosefKeller Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery. Otherwise know

If you are a medical dr, I would prescribe yourself something to chill out a bit.

Argh.

... known as MBBS, or a medical degree. We all get to call ourselves Dr.

(Dr H Draconis)

Just bank the cheque and forget it, it is casual sexism but I wouldn't waste my time trying to make a point of it especially if it has taken forever to get a resolution. Perhaps tell them retrospectively once it has cleared if you want.